Vladimir Ivanoff Quotes in Moscow on the Hudson (1984)

Vladimir Ivanoff: Yesterday I bought my first pair of American shoes. They were made in Italy.

Vladimir Ivanoff: In Moscow we fought for an inch of freedom! Here you take it and pour shit all over it.

Vladimir Ivanoff: You don't look like Marxist.

Veronica Cohen: I'm not. I'm a humanist. What does a marxist look like anyway?

Vladimir Ivanoff: Usually has beard, mustache.

Veronica Cohen: A-ha, the women too?

Vladimir Ivanoff: In Russia, especially women.

[Anatoly waves a small american flag at Vladiimir from across the room]

Vladimir Ivanoff: Excuse me, I a... happy to talk to you, but I must now to make toilet.

Vladimir Ivanoff: That be two big Macs, one quarter pounder with cheese, six pieces chicken McNuggets, two boxes Ronald McDonald cookies, one order McFries, two chocolate McShakes. Meh that to go?

Woman in McDonalds: No, I eat it here.

Vladimir Ivanoff: Come back McSoon.

[last lines]

Vladimir Ivanoff: [voice over as he plays his saxophone in the park] This is a free country, welcome to almost anyone. And I'm hoping someday maybe you will join me here. Of course I will continue to write to you every week. Yes, in America almost anything is possible. Goodbye for now my beloved family. I love you. Voyia

Lionel Witherspoon, Bloomingdales Security Officer: [as a clearly nervous Vladimir pours water over himself in Bloomingdale's] What do you think you're doing?

Vladimir Ivanoff: I defect.

Lionel Witherspoon, Bloomingdales Security Officer: Not here, you don't. There's a men's room down the hall.

Orlando Ramirez, Vladimir's Cuban Lawyer: My father was called Orlando. He rolled the finest cigars in Havana. "Orlando el Rey," they called him..."Orlando the King." Then Castro came along and my father was on his ass.

Vladimir Ivanoff: Castro is a great man.

Orlando Ramirez, Vladimir's Cuban Lawyer: Castro is a Cuban bullshit artist who has been taken in by Russian bullshit artists!

Anatoly Cherkasov: O ok, ok, ok. Let's practice our English.

Vladimir Ivanoff: Ok.

Anatoly Cherkasov: Ok, let us practice. You start.

Vladimir Ivanoff: Hello, Mifter...

Anatoly Cherkasov: Mister.

Vladimir Ivanoff: Mister.

Anatoly Cherkasov: Mister.

Vladimir Ivanoff: Mister. Hello, Mister, may I buy lamb chop?

Anatoly Cherkasov: Sure thing, Mister.

Vladimir Ivanoff: Do you read Ernest Hemingway?

Anatoly Cherkasov: Every Fucking Day.

Vladimir Ivanoff: Kiss me, beautiful. Beautiful? Beatuiful. I love you.

Vladimir Ivanoff: I read about slavery.

Lionel Witherspoon, Bloomingdales Security Officer: Yeah, with slavery at least the work was steady.

Vladimir Ivanoff: Sounds like Russia.

[Lionel starts laughting]

Vladimir Ivanoff: I make joke. That's ok. I feel to make joke in other language, is all good. O.K.

Lionel Witherspoon, Bloomingdales Security Officer: O.K.

Vladimir Ivanoff: [confronting a stranger following him down the street] FBI?

Gay Man on Street: FBI? No.

Vladimir Ivanoff: KGB?

Gay Man on Street: No. G-A-Y.

Vladimir Ivanoff: Gay? Oh, no, no.

Gay Man on Street: Sorry. You have a nice face. I thought we had a "moment" back there.