Vlad Quotes in Dracula Untold (2014)

Vlad: Men don't fear swords. They fear monsters.

Master Vampire: I have been waiting an eternity for a man of your strength to arrive. But what kind of man crawls into his own grave in search of hope?

Vlad: A desperate one.

Vlad: [in a rage to his people after they try to burn him] Do you think you are alive because you can fight? You are alive because of what I did to save you!

Vlad: Why think separately of this life and the next...

Mirena: When one is born from the last.

Vlad: Never forget who I am.

Vlad: It's not a child's place to save his country.

Master Vampire: What is it that you are seeking?

Vlad: I want the power to destroy my enemies and save my family.

Master Vampire: [holds Vlad by the throat] Why spill blood if not for the pleasure of it?

Vlad: Because men do not fear swords. They fear monsters. They run from them. By putting one village to the stake, I spared ten more. Sometimes the world no longer needs a hero. Sometimes what it needs... is a monster.

Master Vampire: [tightening his grip a little] And you believe you know what it means to be a monster? Hmm?... You have no idea... but I'm going to show you.

Mirena: What is happening to you?

[Vlad cuts the tent open as his skin burns]

Mirena: No! Stop it!

[as she pulls him to her]

Mirena: May God strike down whoever did this to you!

Vlad: [pained] I chose this!

Mirena: This is the strength you sought? But why?

Vlad: Because I sent corpses back to Mehmed, instead of our son.

Mirena: [near tears] You did this for us?

Vlad: In two days, I'll be restored... I just have to resist.

Mirena: Resist what?

[when he says nothing, panicked]

Mirena: Resist what, Vlad? Tell me!

Vlad: The thirst... for blood.

Vlad: [to Ingeras] Run to your mother.

Mirena: I will fight beside you until death.

Vlad: Your death would end my fight.

Vlad: [Points at wanted poster of Flynn Rider] Is this you?

[Moves finger away to show a long nose on the poster]

Flynn Rider: Oh, now they're just being mean.

Vlad: [to the Captain of the Guard] I believe this is the man you're looking for.

Short Thug: [in a Cupid costume] You got me.

Big Nose Thug: [sings] Tor would like to quit and be a florist.

Vlad: [sings] Gunther does interior design.

Thug 2: [sings] Ulf is into mime.

Big Nose Thug: [sings] Attila's cupcakes are sublime.

Big Nose Thug, Thug 2: [sung together] Bruiser knits, Killer sews, Fang does little puppet shows.

Hook Hand Thug: [sings] And Vladimir collects ceramic u-ni-corns...

[Vladimir smiles with a sinister, ominous look]

Vlad: [greedily happy] Oooh! Score!

Murray: [from trailer] Please don't kill me

Vlad: Talking toilet paper... well that's a new one

Vlad: Are we ready to do this?

Vlad: I love New Jersey.

Joy Jordan: Don't you miss Russia?

Vlad: Fuck the cunt of Russia.

Joy Jordan: Well, I guess it's best to feel that way.

Vlad: Have you ever experimented with heterosexuality?

Michael: What? You mean sleep with a straight guy? What for?

Ellen: When I was eight years old I told my dad that I wanted to take an acting class. He said, "There are five billion people in this world, if one-tenth of 1% of them wanted to be actors, that would still be five million people. Do you really think you're prettier than five million people? You're not even the prettiest girl in your class."

Vlad: I think you're very pretty.

Vlad: Are you blushing?

Michael: Are you kidding? I'm doing everything but bat my eyes!

[first lines]

[scene opens on Dee, Shaun and Company singing "How Shall I See You Through My Tears"]

[as singing continues, scene shifts to Vlad in his bedroom]

Vlad: To all the critics out there, I know they're gonna review this, and I know they're gonna try to knock me - is it OK if I say this to the camera, Amber? - Okay. I only am who I am 'cause I was born that way. I have a gift, and I'm trying not to be selfish about it, but to use it. Okay? If you're gonna knock me for that, that's your problem. Jealousy will get you nowhere. And I'm gonna keep rockin' on.

[scene returns to singing cast, then shifts to Ellen's bathroom]

Ellen's Brother: Ellen, what's the matter with you? Don't tell Mom I'm taking you to your stupid junior prom.

Ellen: [in shower] Get out of here!

Ellen's Brother: Your brother - how gross is that! Come on!

Ellen: They don't know you're my brother. Please Ben you have to - I'll pay you.

Ellen's Brother: Find someone who's not related to you. Loser.

[scene shifts to Michael, in drag, attempting to enter his prom - the teacher rips up his ticket and he's beaten up by fellow students - Michael dreams himself back to the cast singing "How Shall I See You Through My Tears"]

[last lines]

Vlad: Well, now that camp's over - almost over - and we live kind of close to each other I was hoping that... we can go out sometime.

Michael: I *know* you're not asking girlfriend out for a date after all this.

Vlad: If she'll forgive me.

Michael: This boy not only has cajones, but he's got burritos and huevos rancheros too.

Ellen: [to Vlad] Okay.

Michael: What?

Vlad: Really?

Ellen: I'll go out with you.

Michael: Ellen, you're like some Jenny Jones guest!

Ellen: Michael, eventually I have to start hanging out with boys who don't wear dresses. I thought we came here to go swimming.

[to Vlad]

Ellen: You coming in?

Vlad: It's pretty cold.

Ellen: I'll take my chances.

Vlad: ...Okay.

[they jump in lake]

Ellen: It's not that cold.

Vlad: It's freezing.

Ellen: Don't be a girl - leave that to Michael.

[Michael jumps in lake]

Michael: You two are like a bad car wreck - I wash my hands of the both of you.

Ellen: Oh yeah?

Michael: Oh it's cold! Quit splashing!

[scene shifts to the cast singing "The Want of a Nail"]

Vlad: Sometimes it's nice not to be special. Sometimes it's nice to listen to what everyone else listens to. Just to be normal for once.

Vlad: I'm an asshole! And I don't know... I just love attention. I'm an attention junkie I guess. Awww... Why do I do shit like that?

Vlad: [sitting on Michael, jokingly] So, do you forgive me?

Michael: If I forgive you, will you get off of me?

Vlad: Sure.

Michael: Then, no.

Vlad: Wanna play a game?

Brett: Spin the bottle? Oh babe... I thought we only played that when we were alone together at home!

Vlad: Maybe later. Now screw off!

Vlad: Now who is being the... what is the term you people use? "Drama Queen"?

Vlad: My dad used to tell us these woods were haunted by a girl... Malice Valeria.

Ashton: Oh - I think I knew a girl who had that!

Vlad: It was her name dumbass, not a disease!

Vlad: I'm sorry, I thought this was the room for the climatic orgy scene. I guess we'll have to save that for the "uncut" version!

Joey: What the fuck, Vlad?

Vlad: I'm posing for your uncle's new masterpiece.

Joey: That's so gay.

Ben: People have been modeling for painters for centuries now, Joe. All kinds of people.

Vlad: He doesn't mean homosexual, Uncle Ben. He just means stupid.

Vlad: The police cannot prove it yet, but I know that he killed her with cold blood.