Virgil Malloy Quotes in Ocean's Eleven (2001)

Turk Malloy: [intentionally arguing to each other extend the time needed for their balloons to block the security camera's view] Watch it, bud.

Virgil Malloy: Who you calling bud, pal?

Turk Malloy: Who you calling pal, friend?

Virgil Malloy: Who you calling friend, jackass?

Turk Malloy: Don't call me a jackass.

Virgil Malloy: I just did call you a jackass.

Virgil Malloy: [playing 20 questions as they wait for Danny, Yen and Basher to steal the pinch] Are you a man?

Turk Malloy: Yes, nineteen.

Virgil Malloy: Are you alive?

Turk Malloy: Yes, eighteen.

Virgil Malloy: Evel Knievel.

Turk Malloy: ...shit.

[while reconnoitering the casinos]

Virgil Malloy: [makes a note] Leaving at 10:44.

Turk Malloy: [belittling and criticizing him] 10:46, get a watch that works.

Rusty: [impersonating a doctor, referring to Saul pretending to be dead] I'm sorry. He's gone.

Virgil Malloy: [as he and Turk enter, impersonating paramedics] Man, I told you to run.

Turk Malloy: Don't do that.

Virgil Malloy: What, I didn't tell you to run?

[watching Linus trapped on the upper floor by security guards]

Virgil Malloy: Shouldn't someone help him?

Basher: Oh, that's a good idea, Rabbit. Let's hop out of the van and we can all get nicked!

Turk Malloy: Don't change the facial structure.

Virgil Malloy: I'm making you taller. Don't you want to be taller? You're a midget in 34 states.

Turk Malloy: Yeah, well, I'm an animal in the other 34.

Virgil Malloy: [turns and stares at Turk]

Turk Malloy: 24. 22.

Turk Malloy: That was good.

Virgil Malloy: I know. That's why they asked me to do it and not you.

Turk Malloy: Okay, this is me offering you an olive basket. And this is you spitting in my face.

Virgil Malloy: Oh, is that your face?

Turk Malloy: [referring to hacking into Banks' computer system] Are you in yet?

Virgil Malloy: [knowing he was referring to that line spoken during sexual intercourse] I hate that question.

Turk Malloy: [referring to Willy Bank while standing around Reuben's hospital bed] I don't care if it gets messy.

Virgil Malloy: I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.

Livingston Dell: And I'll inject him.

Basher Tarr: And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.

Rusty Ryan: All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...

Danny Ocean: But...

Virgil Malloy: [as he and Turk leave a factory in Mexico] Nestor says hang tough.

Linus Caldwell: [Linus is trying to convince everyone that Danny was actually the leader of "The Benedict Job"] Well, if any of you had a problem, who did you go to?

Basher Tarr, Turk Malloy, Virgil Malloy, Reuben Tishkoff, Livingston Dell, Yen, Frank Catton: [simultaneously] Rusty.

Danny Ocean: Thanks, Linus.

Turk Malloy: It's ridiculous, I mean this is a moral issue we're dealing with here. Not to mention we don't have a grease man anymore, because he's in a bag somewhere. We don't know.

Virgil Malloy: We got a bag man.

Turk Malloy: Such an ape, an animal, with no feelings you are.

Virgil Malloy: I have feelings.

Turk Malloy: No, you don't.

Virgil Malloy: Look, yeah, I do I feel bad for the guy. He's a human being in a piece of luggage, but you got water, he's got air. What did you want them to do?

Turk Malloy: Oh my God they should have gotten off the bus, get off the bus and pick up the bag with our friend in it.

Virgil Malloy: Get off the bus, they were trying to be inconspicuous. How many soccer teams do you know that are fielding 50 year-old men?

Danny Ocean: Rusty's not 50 years old.

Turk Malloy: Yeah, dude, we know Rusty's not 50.

Turk Malloy: I'll give you a million dollars if you don't speak for a month.

Virgil Malloy: I wanna eat your whole head.

Danny Ocean: How much is everyone short?

Turk Malloy: 14.

Virgil Malloy: You're kidding me! You spent all but 5 million?

Turk Malloy: Yes! Are you going to start on me with that too? You don't know what it's like starting something from scratch!

Virgil Malloy: Well, with interest, I'm short 7.

Frank Catton: Eight.

Linus Caldwell: Well, I spent a million on talent development, so I guess that leaves me at 7. Boy, that interest just kills you, man!

Basher Tarr: I'm light 9.

Livingston Dell: What's the interest?

Reuben Tishkoff: 6.

Livingston Dell: Then I owe 6.

Turk Malloy: What?

Livingston Dell: I've been living with my parents.

Rusty Ryan: I owe 25.

[everyone looks at him, he chuckles wryly]

Rusty Ryan: Hotels, man.

Danny Ocean: How old do you think I am?

Virgil Malloy: 48?

Danny Ocean: You think I'm 48 years old?

Virgil Malloy: 52?

Virgil Malloy: Doesn't this guy believe in fresh air?

Rusty Ryan: He opens the second floor window every now and then.

Virgil Malloy: What does that mean?

Rusty Ryan: It means he opens the second floor window every now and then.

Virgil Malloy: [At an engagement dinner]

[clinks his glass]

Virgil Malloy: All right, I know I'm just the groom, and I'm not supposed to say anything, like uh, a speech. But I don't care what the rules are, because I really wanna thank my family. My mom and dad, my Uncle Gary and Aunt Grace. Uncle Ted, Aunt Celeste, and their children Denise and Jessica. My Bishop Tom and his wife, Helen. My neighbor, John, and his new girlfriend, Tanya. And all the guys at Lean Machine Inc., Bobo, Mullethead, Big Sam.

[His brother is not mentioned]

Virgil Malloy: And everyone else who's just been great in welcoming Sara into the family. Thank you.