Vince McCain Quotes in Fierce Creatures (1997)

Vince McCain: You mean he's dead?

Willa Weston: [sombre] Yes.

Vince McCain: And he's not coming back?

Rollo Lee: [sombre] No. I'm sorry.

[Vince leans his head against the wall, as though grieving, then tilts back his head and everyone sees him laughing]

Vince McCain: I'm so happy!

[to Rod's corpse]

Vince McCain: You're dead! You're dead! You're dead!

[punching it]

Vince McCain: You big-fat-bastard! YES!

Willa Weston: You really don't like animals, do you?

Vince McCain: No, it's not that I don't like them, I just don't see the point. I remember, when I was five, my mother got me this... dog. Pft. I just didn't *get* it. I suppose I had nothing I needed fetched. So I sold him.

Willa Weston: How sad.

Vince McCain: Oh, he got over it.

[Rollo is pushing a wheeled cage containing a lemur he's supposed to have shot]

Vince McCain: What are you doing with that?

Rollo Lee: Uh... oh, the lemur?

Vince McCain: Yeah.

Rollo Lee: Oh, just putting it back in its enclosure.

Vince McCain: Why'd you take it out?

Rollo Lee: Ahhhhh... for a walk... you know, exercise.

Vince McCain: It can hardly move in there.

Rollo Lee: Ah, no, no, the exercise is for me.

Vince McCain: So what do you need that for?

Rollo Lee: That's a good point, actually. Um, well, perhaps I won't bother in future. Thanks for the hint.

[Turns to leave]

Vince McCain: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Were you going to use that for target practice?

Rollo Lee: Oh, no. Ha.

Vince McCain: Or, uh, one of your orgies?

[long pause]

Rollo Lee: Orgies?

Vince McCain: Yeah. I'm onto you. You were going to put that somewhere. You're sick.

Willa Weston: What are you doing?

Vince McCain: I'm freezing him.

Willa Weston: Why?

Vince McCain: He's gotta be cryogenically frozen until they find a cure.

Willa Weston: Yeah, a cure? Vince, he has a bullet in the brain.

Vince McCain: Well, get more ice.

Willa Weston: Vince, there is no cure for a bullet in the brain. It is very fatal.

Vince McCain: Now over here, this used to be the lion house, but as it's no longer suitable for animals, we're using it for middle management.

[He sees Pip and Cub kissing Rollo in a fit of gratitude]

Vince McCain: What the hell do you think you're doing? Can you keep a lid on it till the sun goes down, for God's sake? You're supposed to be working, not prancing around in your cell like a... flamingo with a boner.

[the staff are now all reluctantly wearing animal costumes]

Vince McCain: And I want to thank you all, personally, for the incredible enthusiasm that you've shown vis-à-vis our latest new innovative initiative. You look fantastic. You're no longer a bunch of smelly old animal keepers. No, as of today, you are official Theme Zoo Visitation Enhancement Facilitators.

Willa Weston: What about the quality of the experience?

Vince McCain: No, Rod says quality has never worked for him.

Willa Weston: Right! Everything he touches gets tackier.

Vince McCain: Well, that's the price of success.

Willa Weston: You know what you are? You're pronoid.

Vince McCain: "Pronoid"?

Willa Weston: Mm-hmm. It means that contrary to all the available evidence, you actually think that people like you. Your perception of life is that it's one long benefit dinner in *your* honor with everybody cheering *you* on and wanting *you* to win everything. You think you're the prince, Vince.

[Vince opens the door and leans halfway into Willa's office]

Vince McCain: Willa, can I ask you a question?

Willa Weston: Sure.

Vince McCain: Those breasts real?

Willa Weston: Yes.

Vince McCain: [Closes door, but we hear him through it] Yippee.

[Reopens door and comes in]

Vince McCain: You know, Willa, uh, you better be careful dressed like that around here. People will think you're sleeping your way to the top.

Willa Weston: Just as long as they don't think I'm sleeping my way to the middle.

[Vince forgets the time zones when phoning England]

Vince McCain: Oh, were you asleep?

Rollo Lee: Uh, yes, I frequently am at 2 A.M., I'm afraid. Uh, filthy habit I picked up in the Far East.

Vince McCain: Oh well, gee, look, if this communiqué is in any way, uh, sleep-interruptive, I'll, uh, re-telephone you later.

[She wants him to think they'll have sex - eventually]

Willa Weston: I think it's too soon.

Vince McCain: Why?

Willa Weston: Because what we have is special.

Vince McCain: No it isn't.

Vince McCain: You saw the papers... the, uh, Vampire Gunman Runs Amok story?

Vince McCain: [Disguised as Rod] I'm going to the shed. Mother always said, when you're naughty, you go to the shed. And I've been naughty. God, I'm depressed.

Rod McCain: You're going to jail, Vince!

Vince McCain: Aw, no - not again!

Willa Weston: Vince, tell me about the sponsorships.

Vince McCain: What sponsorships?

Willa Weston: The ones you told Rod about.

Vince McCain: I made them up.

Willa Weston: Vince, I...

[She turns around, seeing Vince with his shirt off]

Willa Weston: What are you doing?

Vince McCain: [He turns around] Getting undressed

[his pants drop]

Vince McCain: For sex. I thought you were in the bedroom.

Willa Weston: I was getting this dinner.

Vince McCain: Oh, okay. You want to eat first?