Vilos Cohaagen Quotes in Total Recall (1990)

Douglas Quaid: Well, Cohaagen, I have to hand it to you. It's the best mind-fuck yet.

Vilos Cohaagen: Oh, don't take my word for it. Someone you trust wants to talk to you.

Douglas Quaid: Who is it this time, my mother?

Vilos Cohaagen: [after Cohaagen's team kills Kuato] So this is the great man. Hmph. No wonder he kept out of sight. Well, my friend...

[puts his hands on Quaid's shoulders]

Vilos Cohaagen: ...you're a hero.

Douglas Quaid: Fuck you!

Vilos Cohaagen: Don't be modest. Kuato is dead. The resistance has been completely wiped out and you were the key to the whole thing.

Douglas Quaid: [to Melina] He's lying.

Melina: [to Quaid] You two-faced bastard!

Vilos Cohaagen: You can't blame him, princess.

[His finger grazes Melina's face]

Vilos Cohaagen: He's innocent. You see, Quaid, none of my people could get close to Kuato. Fuckin' mutants could always sniff us out. So Hauser and I sat down and invented you: the perfect mole.

Douglas Quaid: You know you're lying. Hauser turned against you.

Vilos Cohaagen: Uh-uh. That's what we wanted you to think. Fact is, Hauser volunteered to become "Doug Quaid." It was the only way to fool the psychics.

Douglas Quaid: Get your story straight.

[Points to Richter]

Douglas Quaid: This idiot has been trying to kill me ever since I went to Rekall. You don't kill someone you're trying to plant.

Vilos Cohaagen: He wasn't in on it. You set him off by going to Rekall.

Douglas Quaid: So, why I am still alive?

Vilos Cohaagen: We gave you lots of help.

[points to Benny]

Vilos Cohaagen: Benny here...

Benny: [to Quaid] My pleasure, man.

Vilos Cohaagen: The guy with the suitcase, the mask, the money, the message from Hauser. All of that was set up by us.

Douglas Quaid: Sorry. Too perfect.

Vilos Cohaagen: Perfect, my ass! You pop your memory cap before we can activate you. Richter goes hog-wild screwing up everything that I spent a year planning. Frankly... I'm amazed it worked!

Douglas Quaid: Well, Cohaagen. I've got to hand it to you. It's the best mind-fuck yet.

Richter: You have to make a decision, sir.

Vilos Cohaagen: Kill him.

Richter: It's about goddamn time.

Douglas Quaid: Come on, Cohaagen! You got what you want. Give those people air!

Vilos Cohaagen: My friend, in five minutes, you won't give a shit about the people. Fire it up, Doc!

Richter: Excuse me, Doctor, is he gonna remember any of this?

Doctor: Not a thing.

Richter: Oh, really?

[Richter punches Quaid in his face. Quaid angrily glares back at Richter]

Vilos Cohaagen: Oh, Quaid, I'm having a party tonight. Why don't you and Melina drop by? Remind him, Doc?

Doctor: Sure.

Richter: See you at the party.

Vilos Cohaagen: Kuato wants what's in Quaid's head, and he might be able to get it 'cause they say he's psychic; and I have a plan to keep this from happening. Do you think you could play along?

Richter: Yes, sir.

Vilos Cohaagen: Great, 'cause otherwise, I'll erase your ass!

Vilos Cohaagen: [Cohaagen has Quaid strapped into a memory machine and is about to turn him back into Hauser] Relax, Quaid. You'll like being Hauser.

Douglas Quaid: The guy's a fucking asshole!

Vilos Cohaagen: Not true! He's one of my best friends. Besides, he's got a big house and a Mercedes and... you like Melina, right? Well, you get to fuck her every night. That's right, she's going to be Hauser's babe.

Melina: [also strapped into a memory machine] I'll bust his balls!

Vilos Cohaagen: Uh-uh, Princess. We're having you fixed. You're gonna be respectful, compliant, and appreciative... the way a woman should be.

[she spits in his face]

Vilos Cohaagen: What the fuck is going on down there?

Richter: I'm trying to neutralize a traitor, Sir.

Vilos Cohaagen: If I wanted him dead, you moron, I wouldn't have dumped him on Earth!

Richter: We can't let him run around. He knows too much.

Vilos Cohaagen: Lori says he can't remember jack shit!

Richter: That's now. In an hour, he could have total recall.

Vilos Cohaagen: Listen to me, Richter, I want Quaid delivered alive for re-implantation. Have you got that? I want him back in place with Lori.

Technician: Sir, the oxygen level is bottoming out in Sector G. What do you want me to do about it?

Vilos Cohaagen: [as if obvious] Don't do anything.

Technician: But they won't last an hour, sir.

Vilos Cohaagen: Fuck 'em. It'll be a good lesson to the others.

Richter: You wanted to see me sir.

Vilos Cohaagen: Richter, you know why I'm such a happy person?

Richter: No, sir.

Vilos Cohaagen: Because I have one of the greatest jobs in the solar system. As long as the turbinium keeps flowing, I can do anything I want. Anything!

[gets up from his chair]

Vilos Cohaagen: In fact, the only thing I worry about is, one day, if the rebels win, it all might end.

[In Richter's face]

Vilos Cohaagen: And you're FUCKING MAKING IT HAPPEN! First, you tried to kill Quaid and then you let him get away.

Richter: He had help from our side, sir.

Vilos Cohaagen: I know that.

Richter: But, I thought...

Vilos Cohaagen: [interrupting] Who told you to THINK? I don't give you enough information to THINK! You do as you're told, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO!

Vilos Cohaagen: Don't touch that! Get away! Get back!

Douglas Quaid: What are you afraid of? Turn it on.

Vilos Cohaagen: Impossible! Once the reaction starts, it'll spread to all the turbinium in the planet. Mars will go into global meltdown. That's why the aliens never turned it on.

Douglas Quaid: And you expect me to believe you?

Vilos Cohaagen: Who gives a shit what you believe? In thirty seconds you'll be dead, and I'll blow this place up and be home in time for Corn Flakes.

[Shoots several inches near Quaid]

Vilos Cohaagen: I didn't want it to end this way, I wanted Hauser back, but no, you had to be Quaid!

Douglas Quaid: I am Quaid!

Vilos Cohaagen: You're nothing! You're nobody! You're a stupid dream! Well, all dreams come to an end.