Vijay Quotes in Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

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Vijay Quotes:

  • Paul Blart: This lemonade is insane!

    Vijay: That's because it's a Margarita, Paul.

  • Vijay: Is he still there?

    Q: You must be joking! 007 on an island populated exclusively by women? We won't see him till dawn!

  • James Bond: [bad guys are chasing Bond and Vijay] Vijay, we've got company!

    Vijay: No problem, this is a company car.

    [car accelerates through crowds]

  • [Vijay has just stopped some bad guys with his tennis racket]

    Vijay: Game, set and match!

  • Sadruddin: It belongs to a fabulously wealthy woman who lives on the floating palace.

    James Bond: Who is she?

    Sadruddin: No one knows her real name; but, she's known as Octopussy.

    James Bond: Well, that's the name I heard at Kamal's.

    Vijay: I hear the island is fully of beautiful women. No men allowed.

    James Bond: Really? Sexual discrimination. I'll definitely have to pay it a visit.

  • [to Tiger]

    Vijay: Have you ever kicked or punched anybody in your entire life?

  • Vijay: O my sweetheart, I swear to you, I have been born for you...

  • Vijay: Twenty years earlier from today my mother had picked up bricks in this building. Today I am going to gift this building to her.

  • Ravi: Brother, whether you would do the sign or not?

    Vijay: Yes, I would do the sign, but I would not be the first one to do the sign, I wouldn't do it alone, go and bring the sign of that man who took the sign from my father, go and bring the sign of that man who stoned my mother and threw her out of the job, go and bring the sign of that man who had written this on my hand. After that! After that my brother the paper you would tell me I would do the sign on that paper.

  • Builder: You're not a smart businessman. If you'd have tried to negotiate, I would have reduced the proce of this building by 5-10 lakh rupees.

    Vijay: I'm sorry sir, but in my point of view, you're not a smart businessman. If you'd have asked for a million rupees more, I'd have given them without any hesitation. Twenty years earlier from today my mother had picked up bricks in this building. Today I am going to gift this building to her.

  • Vijay: I still don't pick up thrown away money.

  • Vijay: I have a bungalow, car, money, what do you have?

    Ravi: I have mother.

  • Vijay: Your principles, your ideals? What work are your principles of? What work are your ideals of? All your principles mashed up together couldn't make up one time of bread Ravi ! The ideals for which you are ready to play from your life, what has they given you? One rented quarter, a rundown police car, two pairs of brown uniform. Watch, watch today this is all me, today this is all you, we both have stood up together from this pathway, but today where have you remained and where have I arrived. Today I have a bungalow, car, bank balance. What do you have?

    Ravi: I have mother.

  • Vijay: Your principles? What have your principles gotten you? Two changes of uniform? A rundown police jeep as transportation? Now look at me: I have a mansion, a car, money. What do you have?

    Ravi: I have our mother's blessings.

  • Vijay: Before I talk, I need to know if I am talking to a brother or a police officer?

    Ravi: As long a brother speaks, a brother would listen. When a criminal speaks, a police officer would respond!

  • Ravi: Brother ! Will you sign or not ?

    Vijay: Yes, I will sign ! But I won't be the first one and the only one. GO ! get the sign of the man who made my father sign, go get the sign of the man who abused and fired my mother, GO ! get the sign of the man who wrote this on my arm. Then, my brother, I'll sign whatever paper you want me to.

  • Vijay: [to Rani]

    [Last Lines]

    Vijay: Rani, please don't leave me. I really love you. I am sorry.

    [Rani hugs him, walks out of his house]

  • Vijay: You should grow a mustache?

    Paulie Bleeker: I can't.

    Vijay: Yeah, me neither.

  • Vijay: I'm gonna stop wearing underwear. Raise my sperm count.

  • Vijay: Do you know why they call it the American Dream? Because it only happens when you are asleep.

  • Vijay: Name one famous Indian in America.

    Sanjay: That guy from the Simpsons.

    Vijay: He is a cartoon!

  • Vijay: [shouting while knockin at the door of his roomates] IMMIGRATION!

  • Vijay: You have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food in your belly, what more do you want?

    Ramu Gupta: I want what you promised.

  • Chantal: I give you Swami Bu.

    Vijay: Swami, you're on.

    [a drunk Swami collapses]

    Vijay: Swami Bu has gone to another dimension.

  • Ramu Gupta: Is the Mercedes in the shop or something?

    Vijay: Or something.

  • Ramu Gupta: [walks into the apartment, and Sanjay and Vijay are watching a porno with Sharonna in it] What are you watching?

    Vijay: [makes a sex motion] M-M-M-M-My Sharonna. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm.

    Ramu Gupta: YOU BASTARDS! TURN IT OFF!

    [jumps on Sanjay]

    Sanjay: You've never seen Good Will Hunting?

    Vijay: We also have Star Wars, Episode 69.

  • Vijay: Jab hum chalein toh saaya bhi apna na saath de; jab tum chalo toh zameen chale, aasmaan chale! Jab hum rukein, saath ruke shaam-e-beqasi; jab tum ruko, bahaar ruke, chandni ruke!

  • Vijay: Apne shauk ke liye pyaar karti hai aur apne aaram ke liye pyar bechti hai.

    [Love, for her, is a hobby that she can barter for material pleasures]

  • Vijay: Megha, mai badal gaya hu

    Megha: Aap nahi aapka mood badla hai.

Browse more character quotes from Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

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Characters on Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)