Victor Prinsi Quotes in The Cannonball Run (1981)

J.J. McClure: Listen to what I'm telling you. You go find a doctor. Get me Dr. Kildare. Get me Dr. Livingston. Get me Dr. Frankenstein. Just get me a doctor! Go where the - go where the doctors hang out.

Victor Prinsi: Where is that?

J.J. McClure: Bars, golf courses.

Victor Prinsi: Golf course, bar. All right. Where else? Hospital!

J.J. McClure: Try that too.

J.J. McClure: I'm sure that doctor's a very sweet man, basically.

Victor Prinsi: Oh, thank you.

J.J. McClure: But don't you ever tell me where you found him. Ever.

J.J. McClure: What's Dr. Gay do?

Victor Prinsi: He's my shrink. He was committed yesterday.

J.J. McClure: Why?

Victor Prinsi: He was smoking bananas. He gets very upset when he talks to 'Him'.

J.J. McClure: So do I!

Fenderbaum: [Fenderbaum and Blake's Ferrari drives alongside J.J.'s ambulance] Pull over! We want to give you our blessing!

Victor Prinsi: J.J., there are two priests in that car. They want us to pull over.

J.J. McClure: Victor, that's two priests driving a Ferrari. When's the last time you saw two priests drive a Ferrari? What are they doing, taking home the bingo money?

Victor Prinsi: No, they're doing the work of the Lord. In a Ferrari, they can just do it faster.

J.J. McClure: Look, we can't have a car with numbers on it. So, we're going to have to disguise the car somehow.

Victor Prinsi: Alright.

J.J. McClure: How about a big, black limousine with diplomatic plates?

Victor Prinsi: Nah!

J.J. McClure: Nah. I know, a bloodmobile. They wouldn't stop a bloodmobile, would they?

Victor Prinsi: Nah!

J.J. McClure: Nah.

Victor Prinsi: An ice cream truck! Yeah, an ice cream truck! Y'know, they gotta get there before it melts!

J.J. McClure: Thanks to you, Victor, we do not have a female patient in the back. Thanks to your wonderful cousin Tessie.

Victor Prinsi: Well, it's not my fault that she didn't fit in the stretcher!

J.J. McClure: She doesn't fit in the AMBULANCE!

[J.J. and Victor are pulled over by two priests in a red Ferrari]

Victor Prinsi: Nice car, Father!

Jamie Blake: Thank you, asshole.

Cop: [J.J. avoids a roadblock and wrecks the Porsche] What are you, some kind of nut? Who do you think you are?

Victor Prinsi: Da-dum-duuummmm! I, am Captain Chaos! And this, this is my faithful companion, Cato... Say hello, Cato!

Victor Prinsi: [cop looks in disgust] Been a cop long?

J.J. McClure: Hey, Victor, didja get anything to eat?

Victor Prinsi: Yeah, I gotta lotta goodies for you guys and a Big Gulp Dr Pepper for me!

[singing and dancing]

Victor Prinsi: "I'm a peppa/You're a peppa/He's a peppa/She's a peppa/Wouldn't ya like to be a peppa too?

J.J. McClure: [impatiently] WILL YOU GET IN HERE?

J.J. McClure: You all right, Victor?

Victor Prinsi: Oh, I'm fine, J.J. It only hurts when I point.

J.J. McClure: They weren't 'Fathers'...

J.J. McClure, Victor Prinsi: ...They were 'mothers'!

Victor Prinsi: Thank you, Father.

Fenderbaum: Why don't you take that piece of shit back to the junkyard?

[laughs and drives away]

[At the Portofino Inn, Victor, in his Captain Chaos persona, saves a woman's dog from drowning in the bay and is hailed a hero, but J.J. is furious, as his selfless act cost him and J.J. the championship win]

Victor Prinsi: [as Captain Chaos] J.J., I've saved that woman's dog.

J.J. McClure: [furious] Victor... we could've won that race. Do ya understand what I'm telling you? We could've won it!

Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing: You understand that? You had to go and pull that stupid stunt.

Pamela Glover: He's right, Victor.

J.J. McClure: We are sick of Captain Chaos. We are so sick of Captain Chaos that we could throw up. So you know what, Victor? There's not gonna be anymore Captain Chaos.

[grabs and rip off the mask from Victor's head; yells]

J.J. McClure: NO MORE! Ya see what I'm telling you? NO MORE!

[snatches Victor cape and slams it on the ground]

J.J. McClure: No more Captain Chaos EVER! Now what do ya think of that?

[crowd laughs as Victor seemingly feels broken-hearten over J.J. act of poor sportsmanship]

Victor Prinsi: I don't care, because...

[changes into a new superhero persona with a American flag-like mask and cape]

Victor Prinsi: I've always wanted be... Captain USA! Da-Da-DUM!

[J.J. and the racer laughs]

Victor Prinsi: It's a dirty job, but somebody go to do it.

[the racers, all neck and neck, are approaching the finish line, with Mad Dog and Batman in the lead]

Mad Dog: We got 'em.

Batman: We got 'em!

[Suddenly a car come in the way, forcing Mad Dog & Batman's GMC truck to do a 180 stop. Bradford and Shakey's motorcycle slips and skids]

J.J. McClure: [screams] LOOK OUT!

[J.J. and Victor's ambulance van and all the other cars come to screeching halt]

J.J. McClure: [yells] Okay, it's a foot race!

Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing: I've got the card.

J.J. McClure: No, gimmie that, Doc! Come on, it's a foot race!

[All the racers storm out and begin running to the finish line to see who can be the first to punch at the clock and win the race]

Victor Prinsi: Have no fear! Chaos is here! DA-DA-DUM!

J.J. McClure: [hands Victor the time card] Take it and win, Captain!

Pamela Glover: Come on, Chaos! You can do it!

[as Victor and Marcie sprints, J.J. jumps on the other racers, tackling them down]

Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing: Does anyone need medical attention?