Victor Quotes in Bloodsport (1988)

Victor: What's the hold-up?

Official: He says Senzo Tanaka is his shidoshi.

Victor: What's the difference if Bruce Springsteen is his shidoshi?

Official: If Senzo Tanaks is his shidoshi, then show us the Dim Mak.

Ray Jackson: [turns to Frank] What the hell is a Dim Mak?

Official: Death touch.

[Jackson is getting ready to fight Chong Li]

Frank Dux: Go for the gut. He's soft there.

Ray Jackson: What the hell are you talking about?

Frank Dux: Chong Li's weak in the gut. That's how Parades surprised him.

Victor: [nods curtly with a look of grim encouragement]

Frank Dux: Hey. You listening to me? Go for the stomach. And stay away from his right leg.

Ray Jackson: Will you stop worrying, Frankie? I've got it under control. You sound like my mother. Man alive.

Victor: Now remember, it's full contact. There are three ways to win. One, You knock your opponent out. Two, the other guy quits, and shouts 'Matte.' It's like saying 'Uncle.' Three, You throw the fucker right off the runway!

Jackson: Piece o' cake.

Jackson: Time to separate the men from the boys.

Victor: Just be sure Chong Li doesn't separate your head from your body.

Victor: I'm Lin. You Jackson? You look like a Jackson. That must make you Frank Ducks.

Frank Dux: No, it's DUX.

Victor: Oh, right, like put up your dukes.

[last lines]

Darcy: Did you choose not to kill me 'cause I've got a wife and a kid?

Victor: No. I didn't kill you because they've got you.

Victor: Alphonse. Don't go anywhere.

Alphonse: You coming for me?

Victor: No, I'm coming for her.

Beatrice: You speak French?

Victor: I'd like to.

Beatrice: Yeah?

Victor: Sure.

Beatrice: Another language?

Victor: Hungarian.

Beatrice: You're Hungarian?

[Victor silently nods]

Beatrice: You don't have an accent.

Victor: I work very hard to get rid of it.

Beatrice: I was involved in a car accident last year. I was a beautician before. They rebuilt part of my face, but it's... it's kind of hard to give advice on beauty now. And, uh, I have to smile a lot in my job, and most of the time it hurts to smile.

Victor: I don't get to smile so much. My work.

Beatrice: No?

Victor: No. Maybe you and I should switch jobs.

Beatrice: I swear sometimes. Especially when I drink.

Victor: Me too.

Beatrice: Fuck.

Victor: Shit.

Victor: I thought you talk a lot.

Beatrice: I thought you don't.

Victor: It must be the company. Usually I don't.

Alphonse: I set a trap, Victor. I said whoever walks through that door at nine o'clock was going to have a real bad night. The person doing this to me - he's hurt. Someone who lost someone. Like the people in the picture. And he's in a great deal of pain because of that. And it's a pain I've caused. Then he kills Paul, and found he was in both feet. Victor, I want him to know something. I want him to know that if there's anything left in this world that he still cares about, I'm going to find it and I'm going to burn it down. He's probably wondering right now what I'm thinking. What my plan is. And how much I know. Wouldn't you be wondering what I'm thinking?

Victor: I would.

Alphonse: You know, you're the only one I can trust Victor. You know why?

Victor: No.

Alphonse: Because you saved my life at Harry's. It would be something, though, if you saved my life only to be the one who kills me.

Beatrice: Have you made any progress?

Victor: I will.

Beatrice: I know. Because I realize now that if I call the police and tell them what I saw, it's not prison you're afraid of. It's that you won't get to finish your revenge.

Victor: I don't want you to do that. Bring me food.

Beatrice: My ma likes to cook. It'll just go to waste otherwise. I'll wedge it in between the mustard and those plastic explosives.

Albanian Hostage: We killed you. We killed you all. We killed you all!

Victor: I swear on their graves you didn't.

Albanian Hostage: We killed you all!

Victor: I swear! I swear on their graves you didn't!

Gregor: What happened to that girl? That girl you told me about, across the way from you. You ever meet her?

Victor: Yeah. I met her.

Gregor: And?

[Victor doesn't respond]

Gregor: You didn't die two years ago.

Valentine Louzon: Thank you for returning my Tupperware.

Victor: Of course.

Valentine Louzon: People usually don't, like it comes with the food. Free Tupperware! Do you like the food?

Victor: Yeah, the food was... it was very good. Beatrice didn't tell you?

Valentine Louzon: She was nervous you wouldn't like her cooking. I always told her the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. One of the ways. She'll keep you well fed, that's for sure.

Beatrice: He didn't pay!

Victor: Stop saying that! I understand.

Beatrice: You're going to do it.

Victor: What I did has nothing to do with you!

Beatrice: You have to do this. He ruined my life. I have nothing. I am nothing. I want it done as soon as possible. Then I will forget. I will begin my life. And I will forget that I ever met you.

Victor: [yelling] Do you know what it is to kill a man?

Beatrice: I will forget that I ever met you.

Victor: Well it's not a bug! It's not a rat!

Beatrice: I will never kill a bug or a rat. He's much worse than these things!

Victor: You don't know what you're getting into with me. You've no fucking idea!

Victor: My real name is Laszlo Kerick, and I was born in Hungary. A few years ago my wife and I came to America. I was an engineer before. We came here looking for work. Took an apartment in a building. It was a building they wanted to control.

Beatrice: The men I saw?

[Victor silently nods]

Victor: They got most people out of the building. One night they came and they fired some shots. To scare us, so we would leave. A bullet went through a wall and my daughter was killed while she slept.

[pause]

Victor: We were going to testify. My wife and I. But the man responsible for it all, Alphonse - he gave his orders to make sure he never went to trial. And they were followed. He was afraid to use his own guys, so they sent a crew of Albanians after us. They killed my wife, and they thought they killed me too. And they should've made sure of it.

Darcy: Laszlo fucking Kerick! You made me a douche, Laszlo Kerick. I've seen your hard work. I've seen your fucking pictures. You put Paul in the freezer.

Victor: This has nothing to do with you. I sent you to my apartment to save you. Alright? You were not supposed to go inside.

Darcy: Yeah, but I did go inside. I was worried about you.

Victor: I don't wanna fucking kill you. Take this opportunity and let her go.

Darcy: You lied to me. You fucking lied to me. The godfather of my son!

Victor: Let her go... let her go.

Darcy: You listen to me. You get in your shitty car that does start, you start your shitty car and you drive your shitty car to Alphonsis. We'll be waiting.

Victor: Fuck.

Victor: I'm Victor. I'm the cleaner.

Victor: My Aunt Millie took a vow of chastity. She had headaches *allllll* the time.

J.J. McClure: I need a girl.

Victor: Yeah, me too.

J.J. McClure: You?

Victor: Sure. Hey, J.J., I'm not a eunuch, you know.

J.J. McClure: Of course you're not a eunuch. Don't put yourself down like that. You have a striking resemblance to a eunuch but...

[Both laugh]

J.J. McClure: Just kidding.

Victor: [J.J. has just performed a dangerous stunt] I figured it out. If we do this ten times a day, by the end of the year, we'll be billionaires.

[Victor tears up a telegram]

J.J. McClure: What is that?

Victor: Oh, don't worry about that. It's the Cannonball race. It's on again. A million dollars is the first prize. But don't you worry, we'll be billionaires.

[J.J. picks up a handful of hay and stuffs it into Victor's mouth]

Victor: What did I say?

J.J. McClure: You want me to do this ten times a day?

Victor: Nine?

[J.J. stuffs another handful of hay in his mouth]

Victor: What a grouch!

J.J. McClure: What line did you say you were from?

Betty: The Order of Imaculate Chastity.

Victor: The Order of Imaculate Chastity? I read the bible all the time. In fact, I once read the bible that was printed on the head of a pin. That was hard. But, I've never heard of the Order of Imaculate...

Veronica: You have to read the New Testament. In fact, it's not even the New Testament. It's the New... uh...

Betty: New Wave.

Victor: Leave me. Leave me here.

Kovax: Sure, when you stop breathing.

Victor: [to Everett] Oh, and keep your eyes open. Some drunk has been exposing himself to the waitresses at the Denny's across the street. The last time the crazy bastard was carrying a samurai sword.

Danny O'Brien: Well, the way I see it, Victor, you have two choices: you can swim for it or you can give it up.

Victor: [chuckles] I'm gonna break you like a bad habit numb-nuts.

Danny O'Brien: Well, that is a third choice.

Victor: Nice car. My deputy says you entered the town illegally. We take the law seriously here.

Sofia: I let him in, Victor. He has an injured girl in there.

Victor: You shut your mouth.

Victor: [back to Josh] Here's the way it's gonna go: You give me your keys, then you pay a fine. Can't pay? You work.

Josh: Don't do this.

Victor: Do you want to know what killed me?

Victor: Why is he talking to his crotch?

Kyle Grant: Hello Mr. Dubrow. Wheres Mrs. Dubrow?

Victor: Scouting hotels in Alaska.

Victor: Fluffy towels.

Robert Grant: Excuse me.

Victor: Our guests want fluffy towels. Talk to laundry.

Victor: I've tracked down many things in my time - suitcases, dogs, the occasional husband - but you're the first clients who've ever mislaid their children.

Ida: What sort of case?

Victor: I can tell you it involves kids.

Ida: Well, I'm sure they're innocent

Victor: No, no, no. This case isn't about guilt or innocence.

Ida: Look, if children are in trouble, it's usually because they've been misled or used by adults. You should lock up the parents.

Victor: So, what's your name, kind fellow, noble knight?

Bo: Bo. What's yours?

Victor: Vict...

Bo: Victor?

Victor: I'm- I'm a victim of circumstance.

Bo: There's my Aunt Esther, but she's not nice and she never smiles.

Victor: You're telling me.

Scipio: Perhaps you're a tourist.

[slowly]

Scipio: Where - are - you - visiting - from?

Victor: I'm an Eskimo, can't you tell?

Scipio: Really? That is fascinating.

Victor: I'm totally - utterly - convinced the boys are no longer in Venice.

Esther Hartlieb: But... where have they gone?

Victor: [randomly] Corfu.

Victor: I think we better go inside before we become a tourist attraction.

Victor: [Scipio is now grown up] And you - I've heard of growths spurts, but this is ridiculous. I mean, what are you - your own older brother? Or the winner of a Thief Lord look-a-like competition or what?

Scipio: How about your new assistant?

Victor: Can someone please explain what's going on here before I start drinking port for breakfast as well?

Victor: With this candle... I will set your mother on fire.

Victor: [to the corpse of Scraps] Play dead... Oh, sorry.

Victor: Look, I am terribly sorry about what's happened to you and I would like to help. But I really need to get home.

The Corpse Bride: This is your home now.

Esmeralda: Maybe Frollo's wrong about the both of us.

[the gargoyles are eavesdropping]

Hugo: What did she say?

Laverne: Frollo's nose is long, and he wears a truss.

Hugo: Ha! Told ya. Pay up.

Victor: Oh, dear...

[hands him a coin]

Hugo: [takes the coin] Chump!

[the gargoyles have made a catapult]

Victor: Ready, aim, fire!

[they throw the whole catapult at the guards; it misses them, falling face down]

Victor: Are you *sure* that's how it works?

[the catapult deploys, flipping over and hitting the guards]

Hugo: Works for me!

Hugo: You're human, with the flesh, and the hair, and the navel lint. We're just part of the architecture. Right, Victor?

Victor: Yet, if you kick us, do we not flake? If you moisten us, do we not grow moss?

Quasimodo: If I got caught.

Victor: Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.

Hugo: Hey, Quasi, what's goin' on out there? A fight? A flogging?

Victor: A festival.

Hugo: You mean the Feast of Fools?

Quasimodo: Uh-huh.

Hugo: All right, all right! Pour the wine and cut the cheese.

Victor: It is a treat to watch the colorful pageantry of the simple peasant folk.

Hugo: [shoving Quasi aside] Boy, nothin' like balcony seats for watching the ol' F.O.F.

Quasimodo: Yeah, watching.

[he leaves, downcast]

Hugo: Oh, look, a mime.

[Hugo prepares to spit on the mime, Victor stops him]

[after the pigeon fledgling leaves the nest, Hugo comes alive and spits out the nest in his mouth]

Hugo: Man! I thought he'd never leave. I'll be spitting feathers for a week.

Victor: Well, that's what you get for sleeping with your mouth open.

Hugo: Ha-ha-ha. Go scare a nun.

Victor: Oh, but that poor Gypsy girl. I'm beginning to feel the worst.

Laverne: I know, but now don't you say anything to upset Quasimodo. He's worried enough already.

Hugo: Yeah, you're right. We'd better lighten up.

Victor: [as Quasi climbs down after ringing the bells] Sh-sh-sh! Here he comes.

Laverne: Now just stay calm.

Victor: Not a word.

Hugo: Easy does it.

Victor: Look stone-faced.

Quasimodo: [approaching the window] Any sign of her?

Victor: [Breaks down and weeps] Doh, it's a lost cause! She could be anywhere: in the stocks, in the dungeon, or on the rack! Oh God...

Laverne: [giving an A-OK sign] Nice work, Victor.

Quasimodo: No, he's right. What're we gonna do?

[Quasimodo is chained down, the gargoyles are encouraging him to free free himself]

Hugo: Come on, Quasi, snap out of it!

Victor: Your friends are down there!

Quasimodo: [despondently and weakly] It's all my fault.

Laverne: [as she, Hugo, and Victor try tugging the chains] You gotta break these chains!

Quasimodo: [sulkingly] I can't. I tried. What difference would it make?

Victor: But you can't let Frollo *win*!

Quasimodo: [despondently again] He already has.

Hugo: [dropping the chains] Say, you're giving up? That's it?

Laverne: These chains aren't what's holding you back, Quasimodo.

Quasimodo: [snapping firmly] Leave me alone!

Hugo: [meekly] Okay. Okay, Quasi. We'll leave you alone.

Victor: After all, we're only made out of stone.

[he and Hugo turn to stone]

Laverne: We just thought maybe you were made of somethin' stronger.

[turns to stone]

Laverne: [pause; Frollo's voice drifts up from below]

Frollo: For justice, for Paris, and for her own salvation, it is my sacred duty to send this unholy demon... back where she belongs!

[he fires the kindling while the crowd indistinctly shouts in protest]

Quasimodo: *Nooooooooooooooo!*

[the chains snap taut, the bells resonate as the pillars Quasimodo is chained to break and fall]

Laverne: Look, he's got a friend with him!

Hugo: Yeah, maybe today wasn't a total loss, after all.

Victor: A vision of loveliness.

Hugo: The one in the dress ain't bad, either.

Victor: Perhaps he's sick.

Laverne: Impossible. If twenty years of listening to you two hasn't made him sick by now, nothing will.

Hugo: Hey hey! There he is!

[He, Laverne, and Victor rush to cheer and applaud Quasi, who's walking back to the bell tower, glad to be rid of Pheobus]

Victor: Gizmo! You ejected that tin-plated baboon with great panache!

Hugo: The *nerve* of him, snooping around here trying to steal your girl.

Quasimodo: My girl?

Laverne: Esmeralda. Dark hair, works with a goat. Remember?

Hugo: Boy, I do! Way to go, lover boy!

Quasimodo: "Lover boy"? Oh, no, no, no, no.

Laverne: Aw, don't be so modest.

Quasimodo: Look, I appreciate what you're all trying to do, but let's not fool ourselves. "Ugliest face in all of Paris", remember? I don't think I'm her type.

Hugo: You could wear a disguise, just this once. What Frollo doesn't know can't hurt ya.

Victor: Ignorance is bliss.

Hugo: [to the side] Look who's talkin'.

Laverne: [singing] Call me a hopeless romantic but Quasi, I feel it.

Victor: [singing] She wants you so / Any moment she'll walk through that door.

Hugo, Victor, Laverne: [singing] For...

Hugo: [singing] A guy so swell.

Hugo, Victor, Laverne: [singing] A guy like you.

Hugo: [singing] With all you bring her.

Victor, Laverne: [singing] I tell you Quasi.

Hugo: [singing] A fool could tell.

Victor, Laverne: [singing] There never was.

Hugo: [singing] It's why she fell.

Victor, Laverne: [singing] Another, was he?

Hugo: [singing] For you-know-who.

Victor, Laverne: [singing] From king to serf to the bourgeoisie.

Hugo: [singing] You ring the bell.

Victor, Laverne: [singing] They're all a second-stringer.

Hugo, Victor, Laverne: [singing] You're the bell ringer! / When she wants ooh-la-la / And she wants you la-la / She will discover, guy / You're one heck of a guy / Who wouldn't love a guy like you?

Hugo: [singing] You got a lot / The rest have not / So she's gotta love a guy like you!

Hugo: [singing] A guy like you she's never known, kid. / A guy like you a girl does not meet every day. / You've got a look that's all your own, kid. / Could there be two?

Hugo, Victor, Laverne: [singing] Like you? No way!

Hugo: [singing] Those other guys that she could dangle all look the same from every boring point of view. / You're a surprise from every angle. / Mon Dieu above, she's gotta love a guy like you.

Victor: [singing] A guy like you gets extra credit / Because it's true you've got a certain some thing more.

Hugo: [spoken] You're aces, kid!

Laverne: [singing] You see that face / You don't forget it.

Victor, Laverne: [singing] Want something new?

Hugo: [singing] That's you.

Hugo, Victor, Laverne: [singing] For sure!

Laverne: [singing] We all have gaped at some Adonis.

Victor: [singing] But then we crave a meal more nourishing to chew.

Hugo: [singing] And since you're shaped like a croissant is...

Hugo, Victor, Laverne: [singing] No question of, she's gotta love a guy like you!

Laverne: Take it from us, Quasi. You've got nothing to worry about.

Hugo: Yeah, you're irresistible!

Victor: [chuckles] Knights-in-shining-armor certainly aren't her type.

Hugo: And those guys are a dime a dozen, but you - you're one of a kind.

Victor: I'm a virgin.

Neil: Wh - you're joking, right, dude? I mean, you're a stallion, man, you've had like fifty or sixty women, so it's, you know, it's like...

Victor: Actually it's closer to... zero.

Neil: Oh my god, oh my god. You are a loser! You are a loser! No!

[under his breath]

Neil: You're such a loser.

Victor: It's not a mushroom, okay. It's a truffle.

Sophie: So no "Lake Garda" today?

Victor: Well, "Lake Garda"'s been there for five hundred thousand years.

Victor: [summarizing his vacation] Took a charter flight on a DC-10 to London. Landed at Heathrow. Took a cab to the city center. Don't let people lie to you: hostels are for the ugly. I'm staying in Home House, the most beautiful hotel in the world. Called a friend from school who was selling hash, but she wasn't in. Met a couple of Brits who take me to, of all places, Camden Street. I flirt a bit at the Virgin Megastore, buy some CDs, then follow some girls with pink hair. I wandered around trying to get laid, until it started to rain, then went back to Home House. Ministry of Sound is dead, so I go to Remform - but it's Gay Night. I find the one hetero girl in the place and we dry hump on the dance floor. We cab it back to Home House. I strip her clothes off, suck her toes, and we fuck. I hung out for four or five days. Met the world's biggest DJ, Paul Oakenfold. Kept missing the Changing of the Guards. Wrote my mom a postcard I never sent. Bought some speed from an Italian junkie who was trying to sell me a stolen bike. Smoked a lot of hash that had too much tobacco in it. Saw the Tate. Saw Big Ben. Ate a lot of weird English food. It rained a lot, it was expensive, and I'm jonesing... So, I split for Amsterdam. The Dutch all know English, so I didn't have to speak any Dutch - which was a relief. I cruise the Red Light District. Visit a sex show. Visit a sex museum. Smoke a lot of hash. I meet a Dutch TV actress and we drink absinthe at a bar called Absinthe. The museums were cool, I guess. Lots of Van Goghs and the Vermeers were intense. Wandered around. Bought a lot of pastries. Ate some intense waffles. We bought some coke and I cruised the Red Light District, until I found some blonde with big tits that reminds me of Lara. I gave her a hundred guilders. In the end, she pulls me out, and I cum between her tits, even though I'm wearing a rubber. Afterward we made small-talk about AIDS, her Moroccan pimp, and herself. I wake to the sound of a wino singing. It's 8 AM and hot as blazes. I pretend to ice-skate around Central Station, while someone plays the sax. Trade songs with a Kiwi girl... Then split for Paris by train. Wander the Champs-Elysees. Climb the Eiffel Tower for only seven francs, because the ticket machine was broken. Got the hang of the Metro, took it everywhere. Went to a Ford model party and hooked up with a Romanian model named Karina. She chugs my cock at the Mariott Champs-Elysees, which is good. We played billiards, went shopping. I think she gave me mono. Drove a Ferrari that belonged to a member of the Saudi royal family. Made out with a Dutch model in front of the Louvre. Saw the Arc de Triomphe and almost became road-kill crossing the street... "Oakie" invites me to Dublin, so I catch an Aer Lingus flight and stay at the Morrison. Dublin rocks like you can't imagine. Oakenfold lets me spin some discs with him. Irish girls are as small as leprechauns. I swap hickeys with a drunk woman. After groping my abs and calling me "Mr. L.A.", she strips for me in the bath room of the club. Sneak into the Guinness factory and steal some stout so good my dick goes hard... I fly to Barcelona, which was a low-rent bust. Too many fat American students. Too many lame meat markets. I dropped acid at the Sagrada Familia, which was a trip to say the least. Cruise up the coast to the Museo Gala Dali, but had no more acid, which sucked. Some girl from Camden calls me on my cell, so I let her listen to the church bells in Cadaques. Canta Cruz is beautiful, but there are no girls here, just old hippies... So, I went to Switzerland where I, ironically, couldn't find anyone who had the time. Took the Glacier Express up the Schilthorn, which is beautiful in a way I can't describe... Euro Pass into Italy and ended up in Venice, where I met a hot girl who looks like Rachael Leigh Cook and speaks better English than I do. She's living for a year on only five dollars a day. We gondola around, buy some masks. She think's I'm a capitalist, because my hotel room costs more for one night than she's spending her entire trip. But she doesn't mind it so much when I pay the bills... I ditch her and hook up with a couple who obviously want a 3-some. Too much tension there, but the doofus offers to drive me to Rome, an offer I jump at. Traffic is bad and we're stopped for hours without moving. The wife turns out to be a freak. The guy starts to wig out on me. It's like a Polanski film... We stop for a while in Florence, where I see some big dome. A bomb goes off and I lose the weird couple, which is probably for the best... Ended up in Rome, which is big and hot and dirty. It was just like L.A., but with ruins. I went to the Vatican, which was ridiculously opulent. Stood for two hours to get into the Sistine Chapel, which - now that it's been cleaned - looks fake. I meet two under-age Italian girls who I try to talk into fucking each other while I jack off onto them. Bored, I buy them some ice cream instead. My hotel has a gym, so I work out. I bump into some guy from Camden who says he knows me, but I'm sure that he's a fag, so I lose him. I try to fart and instead shit my pants. Back in my hotel room, I masturbate and have a pain in my groin. That night, I dream about a beautiful girl, half in water, stretching her lean body. She asks me if I like it and I tell her she can clean fish with it. I don't know what it means, but I wake well-rested, masturbate in the shower, and check out... I make my way back to London and hang out in Piccadilly Circus. Hmm. Palakon. I swap shirts with some upper-crusty Cambridge chick. Hers was an Agnes B., mine a Costume Nationale. She acts stuffy and prudish, but is really wild underneath it all. She barely looks at my abs, though she wants to. The next day, I drop some acid and get lost in the subway for a full day and can't find my way out. I meet a cute girl who lets me jack off onto her as long as no cum gets onto her Paul Smith coat. We get stoned while listening to Michael Jackson records and the next morning I wake up talking to myself. I have a big bump on my head from flailing in my sleep. I get my stuff and barely make my plane back to the United States... I no longer know who I am and I feel like the ghost of a total stranger.

Victor: I no longer know who I am and I feel like the ghost of a total stranger.

Victor: I meet two underage Italian girls who I try to talk into fucking each other while I jack off onto them. I end up buying them some ice cream instead.

Victor: Irish women are as small as leprechauns.

Victor: Um... Yeah. You smell really good, but, uh... I don't know who you are.

Victor: All right, ready to do the honors?

Wendell: Hells to the yeah.

Victor: Okay, but remember, A.B.C., always be safe.

[hands him the flamethrower]

Louis: You know what your problem is, Victor? You have Exactly Disease.

Victor: What's that?

Louis: It's when your mouth smells exactly like your butt!

Byron: You know I don't like back tracking.

Victor: Yeah, we're highly opposed to backtracking.

Xavier 'X': My fault. Look, I'll just bring em out at night next time.

Byron: Bring 'em out at night? No, you ain't gonna just bring 'em out at night next time. What, so the German shepherd and the pit bull puppies could snatch the bag outta there and have empty diapers and cigarette wrappers and Snickers wrappers and Stayfree boxes laid all out in the middle of the street?

Victor: Yeah. Then the neighbors call in down to the plant complainin'. Talkin' about how we didn't do our job correctly.

Byron: And then we get complaints and warnings from our boss.

Victor: Then after the warning comes a demerit., And when you get to three demerits, you know what happens then?... A nigger lose his job! His house! His family! Get kicked out of church 'cause you no longer got money for the collection plate. They want you out. All because you bringin' out the garbage late.

Byron: That's right. And i'm tellin' you straight up, man, if i lose my job, man you're gonna put on a little Evel Knievel suit and sell some dimes and nicks on a Big Wheel. you're gonna get my money some kinda way!

Victor: Yea, Then, 'cause of our rock-hard bodies we developed from liftin' trash

Byron: Right.

Victor: We end up in the alley as prostitutes.

Byron: Righ...

Victor: [looks at Byron] Yeah, that's right! You too!

Byron: I don't know about all that.

Victor: Yeah it could happen. You end up in the alley with the shirt off, sweaty. Sellin'. Not for money! Just for a bite off the man's hamburger.

Byron: The point is we tryin' to make: Don't mess with the Department of Sanitation or you will come up dirty!

Victor: You can't go.

Matthew: I'll be back but I have to go first.

Matthew: [about their daughters] They'll be all right. They're good girls.

Victor: Yeah. Let's go find some bad ones.

Victor: "Poor bastard", huh? If I ever get my hands on him, I'll beat him to death, that'll unconfuse him.

Matthew: A beating is not the way, my friend.

Eduardo Marques: He's right, you know?

Matthew: Personally, I prefer torture.

David: What are you doing there, Victor?

Victor: Buzz off blimp.

Gary: Come on guys. There's probably nothing there to see anyway.

Victor: Oh yeah? I bet you guys wish you had what I have.

[approaching Ben Knox's beach shanty]

Mac MacIntyre: Where's the door here?

Gordon Urquhart: There is no door. Just knock on the window.

Mac MacIntyre: How do you do business with a man who has no door?

Victor: The ethics are just the same.

Victor: It's their place, Mac. They have a right to make of it what they can. Besides, you can't eat scenery!

Victor: How are things? I heard about the ceilidh.

Gordon Urquhart: Oh, we've lots to tell you. We've been invaded by America. We're all gonna be rich.

Victor: Really?

Gordon Urquhart: We won't have anywhere to call home, but we'll be stinkin' rich.

Gordon Urquhart: I'll get the food.

Victor: Bring some brandy back with you Gordon, I'm dying.

MacIntyre: How come you're here?

Victor: Fishing. I have been coming here for years. I like it here.

Sam Deed: [to Ruby] That's Victor. His sister went down on the Titanic, he never stops talking about her.

Victor: [to Jose] My sister, she went down on the Titanic.

Jose: [to Victor] I know, I remember.

Sam Deed: [to Ruby] Old folks are great.

Victor: Your going to present this.

Ricki: I'm not really dressed for it.

Victor: Then get dressed.

Victor: You screw this one up there are no second chances.

Victor: The only job you're gonna get is asking people if they want their check.

Handsome: Crippled elves do dance around a devil covered by blue dress, dairy causes diarrhea, chunky, creamy, butter cheese,

All: Bad Billy does dope, bitches and brews but can't even build a cigarette boat,

Victor: All a bang booze every day above a bridge behind a cave,

All: carpet crawler can't eat eagle, before chicken during day!

Victor: Hey, I kick all ass.

Victor: He was ambushed by his own fake brother!

Victor: Dude, we just pissed on her life!

Victor: I hate her, I hate the grade book, and I hate her fake little kids.

Victor: It's like I always say: you can't trust a fake brother.

Victor: I stand before you knee-deep in the bullshit.

Victor: That's one horny little bastard.

Victor: I was blown away! It turns out Greedy was just as horny as Horny.

Victor: I don't get it, none of the girls will give their notes. It's like they all of a sudden have self-esteem.

Handsome: That's impossible.

Victor: He doesn't know karate like my karate.

Victor: Every morning you and I will ride Teresa through the park. The sun will shine, the birds will sing, the flowers will bloom...

Shirley: And I'll yell for the police!

Rafe: Ever think about dad?

Victor: Every time I puke.

Thornton: Alright listen up, douche-bags! All of ya! There's a load of toxic waste sittin' on the dock at TechStar, now who wants it? TechStar's throwin' in an extra two grand for this one... Z!

'Z': I'm sorry Thornton man, my truck's runnin' real bad right now, needs a serious tune-up.

Thornton: Johnson!

Johnson: Hemroids! I... I got hemoroids.

Thornton: You ARE a hemoroid... Jimmy!

Jimmy: Whooping cough, boss!

[coughs]

Thornton: I was afraid of this...

Rafe, Victor: [Both yelling loudly] Babeeeeey!

Victor: [subtitled version] Gods don't love - they let you love them.

Victor: [subtitled version] Your dreams are banal. Reality offers better than that.

Victor: There's no such thing as honor among thieves. It's a myth.

Victor: This is not an ocean front suite, in Marbella. Did you notice that?

[Breathing]

Victor: There's no...

[Coughs]

Victor: There are no flowers or champagne from the management. I don't, I don't see a Swiss *chocolate* on my pillow.

[Coughing]

Victor: My *masseuse* is not at the door.

[Coughing]

Victor: [Wheezing]

[long pause]

Victor: And I am, **fucking** **dying** Alex!

Alex Gates: Take it easy, Vic.

Cynthia: Victor, this is my other son, Richter.

Victor: Vic here.

Richter: Hi, I'm the other son. You've heard all about me.

Victor: Yes, I have.

Richter: Thanks for redeveloping my house.

Joe Darrow: You've been flying long, Victor?

Victor: Don't worry, I know how.

Joe Darrow: You have a license though, right?

Victor: Si, pretty much...

Dolly: Why, you mustn't skip breakfast. It's the most imp... important meal.

Victor: I'm fat ma.

Dolly: You are not fat, you are not. Honey, you're husky, you're... you're well-built, you're macho!

Victor: I am fat ma!

Victor: Can't you be nicer to her?

Delores: Nice? Did you hear what she said to me?

Victor: You don't have to be nice... just nicer.

Victor: We're brothers doesn't that mean anything to you?

Cosmo Carboni: [Serious] Yes that means a lot to me. It means there's a lot of bananas

[Humorously]

Cosmo Carboni: hanging off the family tree.

Cosmo Carboni: You gotta start off every morning by cronin' to that low-life, bag bird?

Victor: Bella likes music in the morning.

Cosmo Carboni: Yeah? Then BUY THE BUM A RADIO!

Victor: I was born on the 22nd.

Victor: An orphan's prayer soars to heaven like a lark.

[repeated line]

Victor: Ready to go?

Victor: [watching Spencer walk] Son of a bitch!

Victor: He doesn't like to be with the others. He's a loner, too.

Hanna: There are many of us.

Victor: [shocked to see Jess] How did you get here so fast?

Jess: [frantic] Victor you gotta listen to me. We don't have much time.

Victor: Whoa whoa what's going on? Where's Greg?

Jess: He's dead.

Victor: What?

Jess: No no I mean he was dead

Victor: What are you saying?

Jess: Downstairs right now is a copy of myself. Me! Walking and talking with Greg.

Victor: [pointing at a picture of the ship] Check it out. This is the same ship. This thing's old.

Downey: Yeah, 1932. It is the same. Here's where we boarded.

Victor: [reads name of the ship] Aeolus.

Downey: Aeolus. Aeolus was the Greek god of the winds and the father of Sisyphus, the man condemned by the gods to the task of pushing a rock up a mountain only to have it roll back down again.

Victor: That's a shitty punishment. What did he do?

Sally: He cheated Death. No, he made a promise to Death that he didn't keep.

Greg: [stepping off the yacht Triangle to meet Jess] Jess. You ok?

Victor: I don't think so.

Greg: Hey! What happened?

Greg: [Jess hugs Greg] Hey what's the matter?

Jess: I'm sorry.

Greg: You've got nothing to apologize for. What is it? Are you OK?

Jess: I'm just tired.

Greg: Well listen we don't have to go today if you don't want too.

Jess: [unsure] No I do... I... I... I wanna go

Greg: You sure?

Jess: [Jess looks at the others aboard the yacht Triangle] Yea... yea

Greg: Yea? OK! Come here. Come meet the gang

Greg: [they both step aboard the yacht] This is Sally and her husband Downey. This is Heather Sally's friend. You remember Victor?

Downey: Hi.

Greg: Lets go sailing!

Thérèse, blanchisseuse: Bon jour, Titi.

Titine: Bon jour, Thérèse. Bon Appétit.

Thérèse, blanchisseuse: Bon Appétit. Bon jour, Victor

Victor: Bon jour, madame.

Victor: [He leans towards her as they sit on the bed] You've given me an idea.

Elizabeth: [nervously] Have I?

Victor: [leans closer] You can do something for me.

Elizabeth: [looking apprehensive] Can I?

Victor: [eagerly] Take off those pyjamas.

Elizabeth: [appalled] *What*?

Victor: Put this on!

[he produces a slinky dress and high-heeled boots and sits down with his back turned]

Victor: Now I tell you what we'll do...

Elizabeth: [affronted] Thanks very much!

Victor: You want to be an actress, don't you? You want a chance to show what you can do...

[her eyes begin to shine as she finally understands]

Victor: ...you've got it. You're going to take my place at Cruft's Music Hall tonight!

Elizabeth: I'm not going. I can't do it.

Victor: Do what?

Elizabeth: I can't be a man all my life!

Victor: But you'll have time off. And you can knit and knit to your heart's content...

Elizabeth: But think what you're asking me!

Victor: [gazes upward as he quotes] "There's a tide in the affairs of men" -

[descending temporarily to earth]

Victor: and women - "if taken at the flood, leads on to fortune..."

Elizabeth: Tides go out - don't they?

Victor: This'll be a spring one!

[Takes her by the shoulders]

Victor: We'll carry everything before us. I'll never leave you - and I'll never let you down.

[They shake hands on it as a smile spreads from her face to his]

Victor: [to Robert] You have an unclean mind.

Victor: I've been father, mother, sister and brother to that girl - and nothing more.

Victor: [to 'Bill', about Princess Mironoff] She doesn't know you. Smile!

[Bill smiles awkwardly at the Princess, Victor does so with broad masculine appreciation]

Victor: [aside] Not like *that*. A he-man smile; she's beautiful!

[Bill catches sight of the handsome Robert and her smile widens]

Victor: [acidly] I said the Princess, not the Prince...

Victor: [to Guy:] Sir, if I may: Mr. Foster is a man of much higher caliber than you deserve. If I were you, I'd stop worrying about how to cut him loose and I'd start worrying about how to keep him. Because letting him go will be a mistake that will haunt you until your miserable, lonely, alcohol-soaked death.

Victor: In here, ma'am.

Jerry: You know I hate it when you call me that.

Victor: I find it a bit of a stretch myself.

Sally: Victor, why did you hire so many homosexual waiters?

Victor: Because that's the only kind!

Guy Stone: [at breakfast, looking at his toast:] There isn't any butter on this, is there?

Victor: There hasn't been a stick of butter in this house since you dragged that trainee milkman upstairs.

Victor: [clearing Rick's plate:] Finished, sir?

Rick Foster: Yes. It's "Rick."

Guy Stone: No, let him call you "sir," otherwise he blows his paycheck on escorts.

Victor: Every life builds toward, and then radiates from, a single moment.