Vicenzo Quotes in The Pink Panther 2 (2009)

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: And now, there is a crime scene waiting... Excuse me, el sceno de crimo.

Vicenzo: That is not Italian and I do speaka English.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Oh really? Prove it!

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: And your name?

Vicenzo: Vicenzo Roccara Squarcialupi Brancaleone.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Oh... That is your name. I thought you were ordering in Italian. Once again.

Vicenzo: Vicenzo Roccara Squarcialupi Brancaleone.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Vicen tam-ta-da-tam-tam Don Corleone

Pepperidge: It's in every newspaper all over the world. We're all being made to look like idiots. Reputations built up over a lifetime utterly ruined.

Kenji: I had to quite being a Buddhist because I feel so much hate.

Vicenzo: HE SAT ON THE POPE'S HAT!

Vicenzo: Clouseau, you are a lover. And Nicole is a woman for a lifetime, a woman to have the babies with.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: To have the babies? To have the babies?

Vicenzo: Yes, lots and lots of the babies... All day long the babies. *Walks away*

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: ...All day long the babies?

Pepperidge: Gentlemen, we first have to determine how the crime was committed. And as I am an expert at deduction...

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: You are an expert at deduction?

Pepperidge: That is my field.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: I believe deduction is my field, and since you are experiencing hip pain...

Pepperidge: How did you know that?

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: One side of the sole of your shoe is more worn than the other; you're favoring your right leg.

Pepperidge: Tell me, did you enjoy your double espresso this morning?

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: How did you...

Pepperidge: Your pupils are noticeably dilated.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: And will you be moving out of the Hotel Montmartre? They are doing construction at night around the Montmartre so as not to disturb daytime traffic. From your puffy eyes, I deduce you spent a sleepless night.

Pepperidge: Speaking of traffic, are you enjoying your Smart car? Your trousers are wrinkled behind the knees.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: And how do you think your favorite football team, Arsenal, will do this year? That matchbox is from the only bar in Paris that shows English football telecasts.

Pepperidge: You have tissues in your shoes to make you look taller.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: You were finally 14 before you finally learned to enjoy avocado.

Pepperidge: Tell me, how did you enjoy your trip to the airport this morning?

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Now, how did you know that?

[the airport stamp on Clouseau's hand is visible to everyone]

Ponton: Perhaps one of you should begin.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Yes, this is silly.

Pepperidge: You've recently lost your favorite cheese grater.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: You have an aversion to cow bells!

Vicenzo: Stop the insanity and look at this:

[Vincenzo picks up a piece of broken glass]

Vicenzo: Il Tornado is not as careful as he thinks.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: You are under arrest!

Sonia: Let me go, or I will destroy it.

[Sonia takes what she believes to be the Pink Panther from her purse, and draws a gun]

Dreyfus: Let her go.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Let her do it.

Dreyfus: [shocked] Are you insane?

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: [Sonia tosses what appears to be the Pink Panther into the air, shooting it into millions of fragments; she attempts to run into a hallway, only for Ponton to hit her face with a metal serving tray] Good work, Ponton.

Ponton: Thank you.

Dreyfus: You moron! You twerp! You sad excuse for a human being! You have just destroyed the sacred symbol of France!

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Ponton, did you bring what I asked for? Boys...

[Louis and Antoine bring a small jewelry case]

Louis: Here it is, Uncle Jacques.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Yes, yes.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: I knew the Tornado would eventually come after the Pink Panther, so I went to the museé with a simple plan in mind. I had convinced my old friend, Robert the night guard, to turn off the security system for the few moments necessary to save the most beautiful object in France. I then switched the Pink Panther with the replica I had at home.

[Clouseau takes the real Pink Panther from the case]

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: This is the real Pink Panther. It was the fake that was stolen.

Dreyfus: [to himself] Nightmare, nightmare.

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: And when the Tornado, an expert on the quality of gems, wrote in his supposed suicide note of its great beauty, I knew he could never have been the thief; he would have recognized it as a fake.

Vicenzo: How did you figure out it was Sonia?

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: It was because I spent the last 17 months on parking duty.

Dreyfus: What?

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Today I was staring at Miss Solandres' license plate. I recognized it because of my... unique system of cross-referencing. I became aware that I had given a parking ticket to the same car, two days before Miss Solandres claimed she arrived in Paris... one day before the Pink Panther was stolen.

[the guests applaud Clouseau, who has just thwarted Sonia Solandres]

Dreyfus: You followed my instructions very well, Clouseau. It was I, of course, who put Clouseau onto the parking ticket assignment. Isn't that so, Inspector?

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: No.

[Clouseau winks at Chief Inspector Dreyfus, who instructed him to deny any knowledge of the assignment]

Insp. Jacques Clouseau: And at Avellaneda's mansion, when I sensed the presence of the Tornado, he was there, all right. But it was not a he, it was a she!

[the guests and the Dream Team applaud Clouseau's success]