Vic Quotes in White Water Summer (1987)

Vic: You can't leave me!

Vic: This wasn't on the itinerary.

Vic: This is not acceptable behavior.

Alan: You're trying to scare me.

Vic: [trying to show that this isn't his intention] Hey... it's me, Al!

Vic: Hey Deb, How's my soft baby?

Debbie Dunham: Come on, beat it, Vic. I'm not your baby.

Vic: Aw, come on honey. Look, so I never called you back. I've been, you know, busy.

Debbie Dunham: Yeah, three weeks? Besides, it only took me one night to realize if brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose.

Vic: Look who's talking. Hey, who's the wimp you're hanging out with now? Einstein?

Debbie Dunham: Tiger happens to be very intelligent, unlike you. I know everything your dirty little mind is thinking - it shows.

Terry Fields: Hey now, buddy, look. The lady obviously doesn't want to have...

Vic: Look, creep. You want a knuckle sandwich?

Terry Fields: Uh, no thanks. I'm waiting for a double Chucky Chuck.

Vic: Then keep your smart-ass mouth shut.

Vic: [pauses]

Vic: Hey, I'll call you some night Deb. Some night when I'm hard up.

Debbie Dunham: I won't be home.

Debbie Dunham: [lights a match and throws it at him as he makes an obscene gesture at her]

Debbie Dunham: Get out of here.

Terry Fields: You seem to know a lot of weird guys.

Debbie Dunham: That creep's not a friend of mine, he's just... *horny*. That's why I like you, you're different.

Terry Fields: I am? I mean, do you really think I'm intelligent?

Debbie Dunham: Yeah, and I bet you're smart enough to get us some brew.

[she puts her arm around him, leans over and kisses him]

Debbie Dunham: Yeah.

Terry Fields: Brew?

Debbie Dunham: Yeah.

Terry Fields: You mean liquor. Yeah, yeah right, liquor. Yeah, this place is too crowded anyway.

[starts the car, backs up and pulls out of Mel's Drive-in]

Vic: There's no such thing as ready. You just jump on a moving train and you try not to die.

Vic: I didn't use to call it that, but once you've seen a baby come out of there, trust me, it's a vagina!

Vic: Hell! They didn't have to cut her! She could have been used two or three more times!

Blood: Ah, war is hell.

Blood: Now let's run through the modern Presidents.

Vic: What good's all this history crap gonna do me?

Blood: Just do the Presidents.

Vic: Oh, God! Eisenhower, Truman...

Blood: TRUMAN, Eisenhower!

Vic: Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy...

Vic: [to sentry] If my gun picks up one rust spot you're gonna wake up with a crowd around 'ya.

Blood: You know, Albert, sometimes you can be such a putz...

Vic: A putz? What's a putz? It's somethin' bad, isn't it? You better take that back or I'm gonna kick your fuzzy butt!

Blood: [sighs] Yep, definitely a putz.

Vic: Bob, we have an overflowing toilet in the ladies' bathroom. There is shit everywhere. It's a real mess. You think you could get in there and take care of that for me?

Bob Bigalow: No worries, Vic. Right on it. I'd like you to meet my son's girlfriend, Kate.

Vic: Kate, nice to meet you. Hi Deuce. So could you get in there, Bob? I mean, I got a party of ten coming in, and I am up to my ankles in human crap. It's a real stinkfest back there.

Harry Doyle: We're in the top of the 9th inning leading 10-7, bases loaded, two down, and Rick Vaughn has come on to try to nail it down against Felipe Aguilar, a dangerous right-handed batter. Here's the pitch.

[Aguilar crushes it]

Harry Doyle: Aww, shit.

Johnny, Bobby, Vic: [in unison] No! No! No!

Harry Doyle: If that's not Shaquille O'Neal in left, that baby's outta here.

Johnny: [catches the ball in the stands for a home run] NO! You rotten bums! You overpaid weenies! Mild thing, you make my butt sting! I *detest* you! You're all garbage! All of ya! Back up the truck! Back it up!

Vic: Hey Earl, want some of your daughter's panties? They come in four flavors; banana, peach, mint and, of course, CHERRY.

Vic: Ramona and I haven't eaten all day. We could eat a baby's butt through a park bench.

Vic: We're waiting, or do I have to pound it out of you?

Earl Keese: Don't ever speak to me like that in my own house!

Vic: Why would I?

Earl Keese: You just did.

Vic: I didn't mean anything - it's just something a guy says.

Earl Keese: I never say it.

Vic: I don't blame you.

Vic: Believe me, I know women - upside down and backwards, which is not a bad way to know 'em, huh?

Vic: Stay here on the outer limits of the dead end zone? Nothing personal, but life at the end of the road just ain't for Captain Vic and Empress Ramona. Sorry folks, but you can color us gone.

Vic: We'll get your jacket later. Right now, take me to THE SWAMP.

Vic: Old Earl here was worried about Baby.

Enid Keese: Oh, he's no trouble at all. He's a perfect gentleman. You can leave him with me anytime you want.

Vic: Don't worry, I will.

Enid Keese: [to Earl] They spoil him awfully.

Vic: Well, I want him to have every advantage I was denied as a young dog.

Vic: In light of Earl's feelings, I think it would be best if we left.

Enid Keese: Oh, no, no. Sit down, sit down. Let's finish this magnificent meal. Don't worry about Earl. He'll get over his feelings.

Vic: He spurned my sauce!

Enid Keese: No, he loves your sauce. He's just jealous, he can't cook.

Vic: We might have had a wonderful relationship. But then, as Arthur Bremer once said: "How many things go right in this crazy world?".

Vic: Well, I can think of a problem that's a good deal more important and you, as a parent, are ignoring it completely.

Earl Keese: What?

Vic: What is Elaine doing about sex? Is she getting probed?

Earl Keese: [throws coffee at Vic]

Vic: That was very foolish, Earl. And it could get ya' snuffed!

Vic: We haven't any children, unless Ramona just pumped one out and didn't tell me about it.

Earl Keese: I thought I'd be able to defend myself!

Enid Keese: Not so loud, Earl.

Earl Keese: What's the matter? Afraid we're gonna disturb the neighbors? These ARE the goddamn neighbors!

Vic: Calm yourself, Earl. I'm not gonna take you to court. That'd make for bad blood. We don't want any bad blood, especially since we'll be living next door to you for a long, long time.

Vic: You touched my brick?

Enid Keese: Vic, what did you say is in a pile driver?

Vic: Italian Galliano for passion, Irish Mist for love and Russian vodka for endurance.

Vic: [aiming a shotgun at Earl] Now you take back that cup you keep switching, Earl. Or it'll be pump city.

Earl Keese: Say, what does that say on your arm?

Vic: [shows Earl his tattoo]

Earl Keese: "Born to party."

Vic: It's the way I live, babe. Here, have a cigar. Heheh.

[Earl is on the phone with Chic, the locksmith, and Vic is listening on the other line]

Earl Keese: Hello, Chic? It's Earl.

Chic: Earl! Earl who?

Earl Keese: Hey, no jokes, will ya? I need the name of that locksmith you used that time. I broke a key off. I got two lunatics locked in my basement.

Vic: [makes unintelligible noises]

Chic: What? What did you say?

Vic: [disguising voice] I said blow it out your ass, wimp.

Chic: Is somebody on this line?

Vic: Just you and me, asshole.

Earl Keese: [to Enid] That bastard's on the phone!

Chic: Well you called me, didn't ya?

Earl Keese: Not you!

Vic: Me!

Earl Keese: Get off the line, Vic!

Chic: Who's Vic?

Earl Keese: He lives next door.

Vic: Nobody lives next door, Earl!

Chic: That's right!

Earl Keese: Christ.

Vic: Earl, have you been drinking?

Chic: What the hell is going on?

Earl Keese: Never mind, forget it!

Vic: And don't ever call here again!

[click]

Vic: And that is where you saw her mammae.

Earl Keese: Her mammal?

Vic: Her honkers, Earl.

Earl Keese: She dropped the towel.

Vic: Did she drop it, or did you psychically will it to fall?

Vic: He actually threatened to shoot Gladys if I did't tell him where the money was. But I think he was counting on a level of commitment and affection between her and me that just simply wasn't there.

Vic: Well? How'd it go?

Charlie Arglist: Good. Went good.

Vic: How much?

Charlie Arglist: A lot.

Vic: Am I gonna have to slap the shit outta you? How much?

Charlie Arglist: Vic, it's a great, big, fuckin' pile of money: two-million - one-hundred - forty-seven-thousand dollars and change. My God, we're actually doing this.

Vic: No, we're not doing it. It's already done.

Vic: Don't you want to know where the money is?

Vic: Don't be so worried. The hard part's done already. Everything worked just like you said it would.

Charlie Arglist: Yeah. I guess.

Vic: Just act normal for a few hours and we're home free. OK?

Charlie Arglist: OK.

Vic: OK.

Charlie Arglist: Uh, you wanna take the money and not me?

Vic: You wanna take the money?

Charlie Arglist: No, I-I-I don't know. I was just...

Vic: Well, if you wanna take the money... I mean, if you think you could do a better job at guarding two-million dollars...

Charlie Arglist: No, no, no. It should be you. It should be you. It's just that we didn't discuss that.

Vic: Are we through discussing it? Or is there more to say on the subject?

Charlie Arglist: No. We're done.

Vic: Cool. OK. Shut the door.

Charlie Arglist: OK.

Vic: And Charlie? Act normal.

Charlie Arglist: Yeah.

Vic: Pay no attention to the man in the trunk.

Vic: One night, driving a Mercedes, already you're an asshole.

Vic: You're dead, Roy. Don't just stand there pretending you're not.

Vic: See, this is the whole problem with people, if you are what you do and you never do anything, then what the fuck are you? That's the way I see it anyways.

Charlie Arglist: Oh, Vic?

Vic: What?

Charlie Arglist: [Shows a severed thumb] Whose thumb is this?

Vic: Oh yeah, Roy. good news: Charlie brought your thumb.

Vic: You know what, Roy? One more word out of that trunk, and I'm going to shoot it at both ends, because the truth is, I can't remember which end your head's at.

[about having another glass of whiskey]

Vic: You're a weak man.

Tommy: Yeah, I know. That's why I drink it straight. The ice cubes are too heavy.

Vic: Builder of major erections, our construction engineer... Hard Hatted Hannah

Keith: You don't think you're gonna get away with this, do you?

Vic: Of course! Do you know how many people disappear off the face of the earth every year? Not thousands, tens of thousands! You're a statistic, kid.

Keith: Why us? Why'd you pick on us?

Vic: It was a mistake, OK? There was a little error there, a little communication error... I'm sorry.

Keith: We'll be missed, they're gonna come looking for us.

Vic: Who will? Who'd you tell that you were coming here? Nobody tells anybody when they come to a joint like this! Quite a racket, huh? See, I run an essential service here... Waste disposal. Oh yeah! Look around, look who comes here. The sickies, the degenerates, the forlorn, the lowlifes, the fucking dregs of humanity wind up here and we take care of them. It costs you nothing.

Keith: Yeah, just my best friend.

Vic: Hey, nobody's perfect! I do the best I can with what I got.

Vic: Gentlemen, I give you... Katrina!

Vic: You screwed up, you're sushi baby.

Vic: Don't forget our single man's special, all you can drink for a dollar. Come along, you drink yourselves into another world!

Vic: Ben, go home. Pack your bags, and leave town.

Ben London: Nobody tells Ben London what to do any more!

Vic: [shoots Ben in the leg] Ben, hop home, pack your bags, and leave town.

Ben London: I'll hop home whenever I fucking feel like it!

Vic: [shoots the other leg] Now, Ben, roll home, pack your bags, and leave town.

'Wacky' Jacky Jackson: [Looking at Ben's dead body] What happened to Ben?

Vic: He was rehearsing a one-man show. Closed.

'Wacky' Jacky Jackson: That's too bad. I liked Ben. He had a fresh breath.

Vic: What are you watching?

Frank: Just some stupid movie with Johnny Depp.

Vic: Who's that?

Vic: Wake up Ms. Creed, it's breakfast time!

Vic: To me sex with men is like snow. You never know how many inches you're gonna get or how long it'll last.

Jim Naboth: Would you mind if I sit down Vic?

Vic: Oh I don't know, you wiped your arse lately?

Taff: I wouldn't have thought so, not by the state of his underpants!

Vic: F*** him and his pacemaker!

[first lines]

Frankie: Hey Vic, what you doing here? That's my stop.

Vic: It's OK Fly, we took care of it.

Vic: You fell in love!

Sharon: Yes.

Vic: Wait 'til he finds out about you.

Sharon: Oh, he knows all about me.

Vic: Is he as bad a boy as I am?

Sharon: I think you should meet him.

Vic: You told him about me?

Sharon: I told you. He knows everything.

Vic: He's rich, right? He's some rich guy and you fell for some line of his.

Sharon: You could love him too, Vic.

Vic: You fell for some rich homosexual!

[Vic doubles up laughing]

Sharon: He's the Lord Jesus Christ, Vic. He's the Son of God.

Vic: What about him?

Elaine: ...Let him burn!

Elaine: What are you afraid of?

Vic: Nothing... except people.

Vic: Leslie thought you were in the trunk - she didn't know you were in the flower bed with Greta.

Rivas: Vic?

Vic: I would like to be in charge.

Rivas: Of what?

Vic: Planting all the bombs.

Rivas: When you ever done that?

Vic: Never. That's why I want to do it now.

Rivas: No. And don't wear those clothes tomorrow.

Vic: Ok. I'll wear my suit and a tie.

Vic: [to Olivia] I just don't understand you women. You don't behave like men.

Benny: [to Vic] Well, look, I know a couple that...

Vic: There's room for all types of music, Amy.

Amy: Yes, but that doesn't mean that I have to keep playing second-fiddle to a bloody Tonalizer!

Vic: You know, it's a funny feeling. Sometimes I really fancy her, and the next day I can hardly stand the sight of her.

Vic: Who named you Ingrid?

Ingrid: My mum. She named me after Ingrid Bergman. She was in "For whom the bells tolls", it is her favorite movie, and it came out the year I was born.

Vic: It's an unusual name for an English girl.

Ingrid: I guess, if I'd been a boy, she would have named me after Gary Cooper.

Ingrid: Vic, I need to talk to you.

[he hesitates]

Vic: Are you sure?

Ingrid: Yes. One has a way to know these things.

Vic: I am your husband, if only you'd know it.

Mrs. Rothwell: How dare you do this to my daughter!

Vic: I did good for your daughter! I married her!

Mrs. Rothwell: Yes! After you seduced her!

Vic: It would have been me or someone else, sooner or later.