Verne Troyer Quotes in Postal (2007)

Verne Troyer: I can't believe I took this fucking job...

Ass-Kissing Employee: [Carrying Verne Troyer's luggage] I could not possibly tell you how unbelievably sorry we are. I promise to take full responsibility of this mishap, Mr. Verne Troyer.

Verne Troyer: I don't want you fired, I want your fucking boss fired!

Verne Troyer: Get out of the way!

[pushes a kid away before punching the other kid in the groin]

Richard: [about the terrorists] They only want to spread the flu in the United States. So, in order to fufil the prophecy in Dave's bible, we must wipe out the entire planet... WHICH brings us to you, Mr. Verne Troyer!

Verne Troyer: [to Uncle Dave] If he wrote anything about me in that book, you and I are gonna have a serious problem!

Richard: [Reading from Dave's Bible] And you shall know that the final day of reckoning will be at hand because on that day, a tiny entertainer will be RAPED by A THOUSAND MONKEYS!

Verne Troyer: That's it! I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!

Uncle Dave: [regretfully] I'm so sorry, but-

[gets attacked by Verne Troyer]

Richard: [as the Babes are restraining Verne] No! Stop him! Stop him! We must do as God commands! BRING ON THE MONKEYS!

Verne Troyer: [Verne Troyer is about to get raped by monkeys] Oh! Not the monkeys!

Dude: Where did you get all those monkeys?

Uncle Dave: I don't fuckin' know. I got nothing to do with this shit.

Verne Troyer: [Verne gets locked in with the monkeys and starts getting raped] Don't get me into style, please!

Uncle Dave: All in all, though, this has not been a very pleasant day.

Verne Troyer: Where's my money, asswipe?

Uwe Boll: I have even better: Gold teeth.