Velma Quotes in Straight to Hell (1986)


Velma Quotes:

  • Chuch: This place is full of bad men who'll kill anyone who crosses their path or even shows their face... know what I mean?

    Velma: No. I don't see any bad men.

    Chuch: That's 'cause they're all out, but they'll be back...

  • Shaggy: Hey, you guys, look. I know I'm just the dude that carries the bags, but it seems to me we all play an important part in this group. I mean, we're just like a big, delicious banana split. Fred, you're the big banana; Daphne, you're the pastrami and bubble gum-flavoured ice cream; and Velma, you're the sweet-and-sour mustard sauce that goes on top.

    Scooby Doo: Mmm-mm.

    Shaggy: That sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

    Velma: You know what, Shaggy? You've really put it into perspective for me.

    Shaggy: Thanks.

    Velma: I quit!

    Shaggy: NO!

    Daphne: No way! You... you can't quit! I was gonna quit in, like, two seconds! And now everyone is gonna totally think I copied off the smart girl!

    Fred: Now, wait a minute. wait a minute. Maybe I quit. I do. Yeah, I quit!

    Velma: I'm outta here!

    Daphne: Good riddance.

    Shaggy: Don't... no! Don't go. Come on, guys, don't do this! Please, don't go.

    Scooby Doo: Do I quit?

    Shaggy: No, Scoob... friends don't quit. Well, it looks like it's just you and me for a while, buddy, old pal.

  • Velma: I know you. All you care about are swimsuit models.

    Fred: Look, I'm a man of substance. Dorky chicks like you turn me on, too.

  • Velma: Oh please. You get kidnapped so much you should come with your own ransom note.

    [Daphne snatches Velma's glasses off her face]

    Velma: My glasses. Where's my glasses?

    Daphne: Who's helpless now?

  • Fred: [in Daphne's body] Hey! I can look at myself naked!

    Velma: Oh brother.

  • Velma: Daphne? Are you okay?

    Daphne: I am so over this damsel in distress nonsense.

    Fred: Uh, where's Shagster?

    Shaggy: Like, I'm right here, man.

    Scooby Doo: Me too.

    Shaggy: Hey, Scoob, that was fun. Let's grab another skateboard and, like, do it again,man.

    Scooby Doo: Yeah.


  • Velma: Let's get jinky with it.

  • Velma: What's the problem, exactly?

    Mondavarious: I believe somebody is casting a spell on the students. Now listen and look around. Can you notice any difference between those arriving and those departing?

    Daphne: They look like sober, well-behaved college kids.

    Mondavarious: Precisely. And they didn't before they came. They've changed. In other words, a magic spell.

  • Velma's Friend: [about Scrappy] "Puppy power", huh?

    Velma: [laughing] And he wasn't even a puppy. He had a gland disorder.

  • [From trailer]

    Velma: Scooby doo. Your name means scooby poop.

  • Velma: Kinda makes you nostalgic for the homicidal creatures, doesn't it?

  • Velma: [to a monster] You could use a little sunlight.

  • Daphne: Wait. I know how to deal with this guy.

    [shouts to Voodoo Maestro]

    Daphne: Hey you! What are you doin'?

    Velma: Yes, that is masterful.

  • Daphne: Hey, I'm me again.

    Velma: [in Fred's body] Yippee for you.

    Shaggy: [as Velma] Man! Like why am I wearing a dress?

  • Fred: I'm me!

    Daphne: I'm back.

    Shaggy: Like, me too.

    Velma: Told you so.

  • Velma: I'm gonna solve this one first.

    Fred: Not before I solve it first.

    Daphne: You guys are going to look like total,total idiots when you're captured and I'm the one saving you.

    Mondavarious: Well done.

  • Shaggy: This is tied for the most terrifying day of my life!

    Velma: Tied with what?

    Shaggy: Every other freaking day of my life!

  • Daphne: Where is it?

    Velma: [mumbling] I gave it to Shaggy and Scooby.

    Fred: Ha, that's funny. It sounded like you said you gave it to Shaggy and Scooby.

  • [Daphne has made Velma look sexy in preparation for Patrick coming over]

    Velma: Who's your mommy...

    Patrick: Who's my... my mommy?

  • [Velma is wearing an orange-leather catsuit and trying to walk in a sexy manner]

    Patrick: Uh, Velma? Do you have to go to the bathroom?

    Velma: No, I can't in this outfit.

  • Patrick: Velma, let go of the grate!

    Velma: So I can fall to my death?

    Patrick: So I can pull you up! You gotta trust me!

    Velma: No! I only trust the facts and all the facts say that you're the evil masked figure!

    Patrick: What does your heart say?

    Velma: I don't know, it's beating too loud for me to hear!

    Patrick: Look deeper, you gotta trust me!

    [pulls her up]

  • Velma: [Velma, Shaggy and Scooby-Doo come across a pair of silhouettes belonging to ghouls] The skeleton men.

    Shaggy: [Scooby-Doo reacts by abruptly farting] He does that when he gets nervous.

    Scooby-Doo: [Fanning a paw behind his butt] Rorry.

  • Fred: [Jay and Silent Bob have hitched a ride with The Mystery Machine] Great now we solve the mystery of the hitchhiking ghouls. Pull off their masks and let's see who they really are

    Velma: I don't think they are masks

    Daphne: And I don't think they're hitchhiking girls either

    Velma: Ghouls you fuckin' moron. Not girls

    Shaggy: The only real mystery here is why we take our cues from a dick in a neckerchief

    Fred: [Grabs Shaggy by the collar] Keep it up beatnik. I'll feed you to the fucking dog.

    Daphne: [yells] I can't take all this fighting

    Jay: Yo! Youse guys need to turn those frowns upside down.

    [He pulls out a bag of marijuana joints]

    Jay: We call 'em doobie snacks

  • Jay: Zoinks, yo.

    Fred: Now we can finally solve the mystery of the hitchhiking ghouls. Pull of their masks and let's see who they really are!

    Velma: I don't think they are masks.

    Daphne: And I don't think that they're hitchhiking girls either.

    Velma: GHOULS, you fuckin' moron, not girls! I wish they were hitchhiking girls- sexy hitchhiking girls.

    Fred: Let's kick 'em out! We've got a mystery to solve!

    Shaggy: The only mystery here is why we take our cues from a dick in a neckerchief!

    Fred: Keep it up, beatnik, I'll feed ya to the fuckin' dog!


    Jay: YO! Youse guys need to turn those frowns upside down, and I got just the thing for that... we call it... DOOBIE SNACKS!

  • [talking about Blousey]

    Velma: You ever seen a broad carry a torch so high?

    Tallulah: Yeah, the Statue of Liberty.

  • [Velma and Lucy drop Thomas and Victor at the bus station]

    Velma: You guys got your passports?

    Thomas Builds-the-Fire: Passports?

    Velma: Yeah, you're leavin' the rez and goin' into a whole different country, cousin.

    Thomas Builds-the-Fire: But... but, it's the United States.

    Lucy: Damn right it is! That's as foreign as it gets. Hope you two have your vaccinations.

    [All laugh]

  • [Thomas concludes his story he is trading for a ride]

    Thomas Builds-the-Fire: Arnold got arrested, you know. But he got lucky. They charged him with attempted murder. Then they plea-bargained that down to assault with a deadly weapon. Then they plea-bargained that down to being an Indian in the Twentieth Century. Then he got two years in Walla Walla.

    Lucy: [to Velma] What do you think?

    Velma: I think it's a fine example of the oral tradition.


  • [Thomas and Victor try to hitch a ride with Velma and Lucy]

    Velma: Hey Thomas, need a ride?

    Thomas Builds-the-Fire: Yeah!

    Velma: What are goin' to trade for it. We're Indians, remember. We barter!

    Thomas Builds-the-Fire: A story?

    Lucy: Better be good.

Browse more character quotes from Straight to Hell (1986)


Characters on Straight to Hell (1986)