Velda Quotes in Troop Beverly Hills (1989)

Velda: You call this roughing it?

Phyllis: One bathroom for nine people? Yes.

[the Red Feathers, including Velda's daughter Cleo, abandon an injured Velda in order to win]

Velda: CLEO! I was in labor with you for 17 hours! I bought you your first tricy... I have patches, girls! I can get you into West Point.

[the Red Feathers disappear into the distance]

Velda: YOU LITTLE BITCHES!

[Velda's scream is so loud that Troop Beverly Hills happens to hear it]

Tessa DiBlasio: Oh, my god. What's that?

Phyllis: Don't worry, it's probably just one of nature's beasts.

Velda: [shouts] Ingrates! I hate children! I hate them!

Phyllis: [Realizes who the voice is] Yup! It's a beast, all right. Move out.

Velda: Get your damn car out of my friendship ring.

Phyllis: Hi, Vel. Lovely to see you too.

Velda: Okay, fine! On your marks! Get Set! Go!

[Fires into the air, causing a crow to fall to the ground]

Everyone: EWWWWWW!

[Velda sees that a skunk was responsible for Troop Beverly Hills coming in first ahead of Red Feathers]

Velda: [Picks up skunk] You're gonna pay for this! Yes, you are!

[the girls have made a make-shift stretcher using some of their backpacks to carry Velda]

Phyllis: I knew I could count on you girls to do the right thing.

Velda: Oh, stop, or I'll bust out crying. I knew I could count on you *losers* to do the wimpy thing.

Phyllis: You need your rest.

[Last Lines]

[Velda is working as a cashier at a Kmart store after being fired from the Wilderness Girls]

Velda: Attention Kmart shoppers, Blue Light special on aisle 13...

[pauses]

Velda: ... Cookies!

Velda: [after seeing that Troop Beverly Hills have managed to make it to the other side of the ravine despite the sabotaged bridge] Damn! Those little Dim-besses are *really* starting to bug me.

Velda: Do me a favor, will you? Keep away from the windows. Somebody might... blow you a kiss.

Mike Hammer: You're never around when I need you.

Velda: You never need me when I'm around.

Velda: Christina Georgina Rossetti. Poetess, English, born 1830, died 1894. Your Christina was being held in that hospital for interrogation... What's the point of all this, if it's any of my business?

Mike Hammer: She told me if I dropped her off at the bus station, I could forget her. But if she didn't make it, she said, "Remember me."

Velda: So, remember her. She's dead. But I'm not dead. Hey, remember me?

Mike Hammer: Yeah. I remember you from somewhere.

[Lily is hiding in Mike's apartment]

Mike Hammer: *They* tried to get her last night.

Velda: They? A wonderful word. And who are they? They're the nameless ones who kill people for the great whatsit. Does it exist? Who cares? Everyone everywhere is so involved in the fruitless search for what? Why don't you turn her over to Pat? It's his job to protect her, if she needs protection. Or to question her if that's what's needed. Why are you always tryin' to make a noise like a cop?

Velda: You want to avenge the death of your dear friend. How touching. How sweet. How nicely it justifies your quest for the great whatsit.

Mike Hammer: We're gonna steer away from these penny-ante divorce cases for a while. I've got a line on something better. That girl I picked up was mixed up in something big.

Velda: And a cut of something big could be something big.

Mike Hammer: I want you to find out all you can about her.

Velda: First, you find a little thread, the little thread leads you to a string, and the string leads you to a rope, and from the rope you hang by the neck. What kind of a girl was she, this friend of yours, Christina?

Velda: Marry me.

Mike Hammer: I'd never be faithful.

Velda: Sure you would. You'd remember my Sicilian grandmother and decide it isn't worth it.