Valerie Edwards Quotes in Marriage on the Rocks (1965)

Shad Nathan: You're emotionally upset, have a glass of water.

Valerie Edwards: I don't want a glass of water, I want a divorce!

Saleslady at Saks: Now, this

[black negligee]

Saleslady at Saks: just came in, direct from Paris and it looks like you. It's called Viva la Derriere. Trust me. It will be perfect for what you want.

Valerie Edwards: Wow! It better do what I want. It costs more than a washing machine.

Saleslady at Saks: Now, listen, this will do things a washing machine never even thought of.

Valerie Edwards: Oh, sit down, Ernie, I'm not trying to make a pass at you. I'm merely trying to find out if anything's wrong with me.

Ernie Brewer: There's nothing wrong with you, Val, you're just as attractive today as you were the day I met you. In fact, I think you're much better looking now than you were then. And if I'm right, you were quite skinny.

Valerie Edwards: I wasn't skinny, I was 18. There's a difference.

Shad Nathan: Now, I get the picture. Dan is pre-occupied with his work. He feels sure of you. You feel neglected. You're getting a little older.

Valerie Edwards: A lot older! I told you, I'm a realist.

Shad Nathan: And, you're starting to feel insecure. Now, what do we do about it?

Valerie Edwards: We stop playing analyst and we sit down and draw up the divorce papers. Everybodies getting a divorce. I'll be one of the IN people.

Shad Nathan: The basis for an annulment is the non-consummation of a marriage.

Valerie Edwards: Well, that's obvious. I only love Dan. I merely substituted Ernie for your black negligee.