Upson Pratt Quotes in Creepshow (1982)


Upson Pratt Quotes:

  • Upson Pratt: What the fuck? Another son of a bitchin' blackout! If it was MY power company, this would never happen...

  • Upson Pratt: Reynolds? White? Talk to me!

    Lenora Castonmeyer: I just called to tell you what a monster you are, Mr. Pratt. And how I will rejoice when you're finally dead!

    Upson Pratt: Lots of people are going to rejoice when I'm dead. Who are you?

    Lenora Castonmeyer: Lenora Castonmeyer. I'm the wife of the man you murdered this afternoon.

    Upson Pratt: Mrs. Castonmeyer! How are you?

    Lenora Castonmeyer: I hope they keep hell hot for you! You son of a bitch! I hope they do. It wasn't enough for you drive him to his knees was it? No, you had to kill him as well! He came home... and his eyes...

    [Upson Pratt begins making violin motions]

    Lenora Castonmeyer: his eyes were so dead. I asked him what was wrong, what could be so bad to make his eyes look that way. And the only word he could say... was your name. Ten minutes later, I heard the shot

    [begins sobbing hysterically]

    Upson Pratt: Yes, George Gendron told me old Norman went out... with a bang.

    Lenora Castonmeyer: How many men have you destroyed? How many men have you killed you monster?

    Upson Pratt: Only the stupid ones. Only the ones who handed me a knife and then stretched out their throats. Only the ones who, if you'll pardon the expression, fucked up. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got this bug problem. So we'll have to defer your charming conversation for another time.

    Lenora Castonmeyer: I hope you die!

    Upson Pratt: By the way...

    Lenora Castonmeyer: I hope you get cancer in the worst place!

    Upson Pratt: Mrs. Castonmeyer...

    Lenora Castonmeyer: Syphilis! Leprosy! Scream in hell forever, you monster!

    Upson Pratt: Mrs. Katzenjammer... would you mind telling me who gave you my private number? I'd like to fire him.

    Lenora Castonmeyer: It was in my husbands address book, you son of a bitch!

    Upson Pratt: Well, I can't fire him can I?

  • Upson Pratt: Norman Castonmeyer's a dinosaur, he's too fucking blind to find his way into the nearest tar pit. Air pollution counts up to almost SEVEN, George! People are out there on the streets dying of Carbon Monoxide poisoning and they don't even know it!

  • Upson Pratt: Go out and fuck somebody. But wear a damn rubber, everybody's got the damn herpes these days.

  • Carl Reynolds: [on phone] It's Carl Reynolds, sir. I'm calling from Orlando, Florida.

    Upson Pratt: [alarmed] Orlando? Florida?

    Carl Reynolds: Yes. The wife and I decided to take the kids to Disney World this year...

    Upson Pratt: I don't give a fuck if you decided to take the kids to Attica this year. There are still roaches in this place, Reynolds. I killed one not five minutes ago.

    Carl Reynolds: [stammering]

    Upson Pratt: Do you like your job, Reynolds?

    Carl Reynolds: Sir, I've spoken to Mr. White who's on desk tonight.

    Upson Pratt: Do you like your job, Reynolds?

    Carl Reynolds: Yes-yes, sir.

    Upson Pratt: I'm glad to hear it because I want to see White.

    Carl Reynolds: Mr. Pratt, it's almost quarter to ten...

    Upson Pratt: And if I don't see White and then the exterminators in the span of a half an hour you will have no job by midnight tonight. Do you understand me? Then next year you can take the wife and kids to Disney World on your fucking welfare check. Have you got that? Are we together on this?

Browse more character quotes from Creepshow (1982)