Undertaker Quotes in Back to the Future Part III (1990)
Undertaker: Excuse me, Mr. Eastwood. I just need your measurement.
Marty McFly: Aw, look, pal. I don't wanna buy a suit.
Undertaker: [chuckles] No. This is for your coffin.
Marty McFly: [realizing what is going on] My coffin?
Undertaker: Well, the odds are running 2 to 1 against you. Might as well be prepared.
Townsman #1: Good morning, Mr. Eastwood.
Marty McFly: Morning.
Townsman #2: [hands Marty a cigar] Have a cigar, Mr. Eastwood. Anything I can do you for you today Mr. Eastwood?
Marty McFly: Uh, no. That's fine. I don't...
Townsman #3: Good luck tomorrow, Mr. Eastwood. We'll be prayin' for ya.
Marty McFly: Thanks.
Undertaker: [holding a funeral suit] Good morning, Mr. Eastwood. Interest you in a new suit for tomorrow?
Marty McFly: Uh, I'm-I'm fine. Thanks.
Ransom Stoddard: [looking into Doniphon's coffin, angrily] Where are his boots?
Undertaker: Well, I thought... well, they was an awful nice pair of boots, almost brand new, and I thought...
Ransom Stoddard: Put his boots on, Clute. And his gun belt, and his spurs.
Uncle Albert: God, Lucille! How could you take her away from me! I can't live without her! Lucille! Snookie lumps!
Undertaker: I'm sorry, there's been a terrible mistake. This is your wife.
Uncle Albert: [sees Lucille in other casket] Ah!
Undertaker: She is this man's wife.
Uncle Albert: Give me five minutes.
Undertaker: This is gonna be difficult for you but you've got to identify the body.
Rick Riker: This isn't my aunt.
Undertaker: Yes. That's why it's going to be difficult.
[at the funeral of Go Down]
Undertaker: OK, Go Down, you got it; but believe me, whoever got you is goin' ta get got too; and that's a promise.
Undertaker: We'll do what we fuckin like. We're not going to hang round getting knocked off one by one while you smartarse bastards do your investigation routine.
Undertaker: If you would like to sleep in a coffin, it would be all right.
Daniel: [looks into coffin] Who is this?
Undertaker: Pardon me?
Daniel: That's not my father.
Undertaker: [checking] Oh shit, we've taken the wrong one.
Undertaker: [as Vera's eyes pop out and green slime sprays out] Cranial blowout!
Cat: [Looks at Frankie Ballou, lying in coffin]
Cat: Why is he smiling like that? My father never smiled like that in his whole life?
Cat: [looks in coffin again, apalled]
Undertaker: Well, he's going to smile like that forever, now. Courtesy of the Wolf City Development Company.
Undertaker: Is this your first bereavement, Mr McLeavy?
Mr. McLeavy: Yes it is.
[the undertaker reaches into his pocket and pulls out a booklet]
Undertaker: [reciting mechanically] May I recommend this little booklet. We find it particularly helpful to newcomers to these occasions. You will find therein words of comfort from various sources: the New Testament, the Old Testament, the Talmud and the Koran. Strike out whichever is inapplicable.
Mr. McLeavy: My wife was a Protestant.
Undertaker: It takes all sorts to make a world, sir. Yesterday we buried a vegetarian.
Undertaker: Wonderful... you're my lucky stiff.
Dr. Mike Rhodes: Thank you very much.
Walter 'Wichita' Garrett: Well, I hope to see you again sometime.
Undertaker: I'm sure you will!
[Garrett does a reactive 'take.']
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