Undertaker Quotes in Back to the Future Part III (1990)

Undertaker: Excuse me, Mr. Eastwood. I just need your measurement.

[measures Marty]

Marty McFly: Aw, look, pal. I don't wanna buy a suit.

Undertaker: [chuckles] No. This is for your coffin.

Marty McFly: [realizing what is going on] My coffin?

Undertaker: Well, the odds are running 2 to 1 against you. Might as well be prepared.

Townsman #1: Good morning, Mr. Eastwood.

Marty McFly: Morning.

Townsman #2: [hands Marty a cigar] Have a cigar, Mr. Eastwood. Anything I can do you for you today Mr. Eastwood?

Marty McFly: Uh, no. That's fine. I don't...

Townsman #3: Good luck tomorrow, Mr. Eastwood. We'll be prayin' for ya.

Marty McFly: Thanks.

Undertaker: [holding a funeral suit] Good morning, Mr. Eastwood. Interest you in a new suit for tomorrow?

Marty McFly: Uh, I'm-I'm fine. Thanks.

Ransom Stoddard: [looking into Doniphon's coffin, angrily] Where are his boots?

Undertaker: Well, I thought... well, they was an awful nice pair of boots, almost brand new, and I thought...

Ransom Stoddard: Put his boots on, Clute. And his gun belt, and his spurs.

Uncle Albert: God, Lucille! How could you take her away from me! I can't live without her! Lucille! Snookie lumps!

Undertaker: I'm sorry, there's been a terrible mistake. This is your wife.

Uncle Albert: [sees Lucille in other casket] Ah!

Undertaker: She is this man's wife.

Uncle Albert: Give me five minutes.

Undertaker: This is gonna be difficult for you but you've got to identify the body.

Rick Riker: This isn't my aunt.

Undertaker: Yes. That's why it's going to be difficult.

[at the funeral of Go Down]

Undertaker: OK, Go Down, you got it; but believe me, whoever got you is goin' ta get got too; and that's a promise.

Undertaker: We'll do what we fuckin like. We're not going to hang round getting knocked off one by one while you smartarse bastards do your investigation routine.

Undertaker: If you would like to sleep in a coffin, it would be all right.

Daniel: [looks into coffin] Who is this?

Undertaker: Pardon me?

Daniel: That's not my father.

Undertaker: [checking] Oh shit, we've taken the wrong one.

Undertaker: [as Vera's eyes pop out and green slime sprays out] Cranial blowout!

Cat: [Looks at Frankie Ballou, lying in coffin]

Cat: Why is he smiling like that? My father never smiled like that in his whole life?

Cat: [looks in coffin again, apalled]

Undertaker: Well, he's going to smile like that forever, now. Courtesy of the Wolf City Development Company.

Undertaker: Is this your first bereavement, Mr McLeavy?

Mr. McLeavy: Yes it is.

[the undertaker reaches into his pocket and pulls out a booklet]

Undertaker: [reciting mechanically] May I recommend this little booklet. We find it particularly helpful to newcomers to these occasions. You will find therein words of comfort from various sources: the New Testament, the Old Testament, the Talmud and the Koran. Strike out whichever is inapplicable.

Mr. McLeavy: My wife was a Protestant.

Undertaker: It takes all sorts to make a world, sir. Yesterday we buried a vegetarian.

Undertaker: Wonderful... you're my lucky stiff.

Dr. Mike Rhodes: Thank you very much.

Walter 'Wichita' Garrett: Well, I hope to see you again sometime.

Undertaker: I'm sure you will!

[Garrett does a reactive 'take.']