Uncle Ned Smith Quotes in Bright Eyes (1934)

Joy Smythe: [with practicing piano] One and two and three and. One and two and three and. One and two and three and. One and two and...

Uncle Ned Smith: Stop it! One and two and three and. One and two- is that all you know?

Joy Smythe: [runs to her mother] Mama! Mama!

Uncle Ned Smith: Mama! Mama! It's a good thing I am not your mama. That's enough to drive a man crazy. Things better be a little different around here or you're gonna see the last of me.

Joy Smythe: What are you gonna get for Christmas? I'm gonna get a pink dollhouse with real furniture and a real piano and a tennis racket and a great big doll.

Shirley Blake: I asked Santa Claus to bring me a doll.

Joy Smythe: There ain't any Santa Claus!

Shirley Blake: There is too!

Joy Smythe: There is not! My psychoanalyst told me there ain't any Santa Claus or fairies or giants or anything like that.

Shirley Blake: I'll bet you'd feel pretty bad tomorrow morning if you woke up and you didn't have any presents.

Joy Smythe: Well, I won't. Wanna know why? 'Cause I already peeked in the closet and saw 'em.

Shirley Blake: I don't care what you saw. There is a Santa Claus!

Joy Smythe: There ain't!

Shirley Blake: Mr. Smith, there is a Santa Claus, isn't there?

Uncle Ned Smith: What did she say?

Shirley Blake: She said there isn't.

Uncle Ned Smith: Then there is.

Uncle Ned Smith: We showed her, didn't we?

Shirley Blake: We sure did. Thanks, Mr. Smith. I like you.

Uncle Ned Smith: Then you're the only one around here that does. They don't like me, and I don't like them, either.

Uncle Ned Smith: Hey, where's your little girl?

Mary Blake: She's gone to a Christmas party.

Uncle Ned Smith: I don't believe in Christmas.

Mary Blake: You don't?

Uncle Ned Smith: It's all a lot of nonsense.

Mary Blake: Well, I don't feel that way about it.

Uncle Ned Smith: Here.

[handing her some money]

Uncle Ned Smith: Buy a Christmas present for Shirley from me. Christmas.

[scoffs]

Mary Blake: Well! What do you make of that?

Mrs. Elizabeth Higgins: He never fooled me. He's only tough on the outside. Inside, he's soft as mush.

Uncle Ned Smith: Now listen to me, you two. I want you to understand just one thing. If you ever expect to get anything out of me, you're going to be human enough and decent enough to take Shirley into this house to live. I'll pay for her board and her clothes.

J. Wellington Smythe: Why, Uncle Ned, that won't be necessary.

Anita Smythe: Well, naturally. We had no idea you felt this way about the child.

Uncle Ned Smith: Well, I do. If you don't want her here, I guess I can find some other place for her. And I guess I can find another place for me, too!

Uncle Ned Smith: What do you think?

Adele Martin: I think you're an old softy.

Uncle Ned Smith: Well, would you let them put a child like that in a home, would you?

Adele Martin: In my home.

Uncle Ned Smith: But you're not like those two in there. You're more like me. Where is Shirley?

Adele Martin: She's down at the airport with Loop.

Uncle Ned Smith: Loop? Who's Loop? Oh, I remember. He's that aviator fellow you were interested in.

Adele Martin: Uh, yes.

Uncle Ned Smith: You're that aviator, aren't you? Well, I don't like airplanes.

James 'Loop' Merritt: Well, I don't like wheelchairs.

Uncle Ned Smith: You stay in those airplanes long enough, and you'll end up in one! What's he doing here?

J. Wellington Smythe: You see, Uncle Ned, he thinks it would be a good idea for Shirley to go and live with him.

Uncle Ned Smith: What? He wants to take Shirley away? Are you married?

James 'Loop' Merritt: No, I'm not.

Uncle Ned Smith: How much do you make?

James 'Loop' Merritt: Enough to support myself.

Uncle Ned Smith: Where do you live?

James 'Loop' Merritt: At the airport.

Uncle Ned Smith: Where do you eat?

James 'Loop' Merritt: In restaurants.

Uncle Ned Smith: Well, you can't have her!

James 'Loop' Merritt: Oh yeah? Who says so?

Uncle Ned Smith: I say so!

James 'Loop' Merritt: I've got more right to her than you have!

Uncle Ned Smith: We'll see about that!

Uncle Ned Smith: And another thing. You stop telling people I made my money in sanitary engineering. It was sewers. Sewers! And don't you forget it.

J. Wellington Smythe: Why, Uncle Ned, why didn't you call us?

Uncle Ned Smith: Call you? I yelled, and I shouted and I bellowed. A thanks lot of good it did me. No one pays any attention to me. No one cares what happens to me. All you do is think of yourselves.

Anita Smythe: Oh, Uncle Ned, you know that isn't so.

Uncle Ned Smith: Mary!

Mary Blake: Yes, Mr. Symthe.

Uncle Ned Smith: My name is Smith. His name is Symthe.

Mary Blake: Yes, Mr. Smith.

Uncle Ned Smith: Didn't you hear me holler a little while ago?

Mary Blake: No, sir, I didn't.

Uncle Ned Smith: These folks around here better get their ears fixed.