Uncle Lewis Quotes in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

Aunt Bethany: What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound.

Uncle Lewis: You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.

Clark: Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace.

Aunt Bethany: [turns to Lewis] What, dear?

Nora Griswold: Grace!

Aunt Bethany: Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.

Uncle Lewis: They want you to say Grace.

[Bethany shakes her head in confusion]

Uncle Lewis: The BLESSING!

Aunt Bethany: [they all pose for prayer] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Clark: Amen.

Uncle Lewis: Hey Grizz, Bethany and I figured out the perfect gift for you.

Clark: Aw, you didn't have to get me anything.

Uncle Lewis: Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it.

Ellen: Oh Aunt Bethany, you shouldn't have done that.

Aunt Bethany: Oh dear, did I break wind?

Uncle Lewis: Jesus, did the room clear out, Bethany? Hell no, she means presents. You shouldn't have brought presents.

Uncle Lewis: [Clark is cleaning up the garbage off the kitchen floor after the dog went through it] Hey Gris, you're not doing anything constructive. Run into the living room and get my stogey.

Clark: Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis?

Ellen: He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas.

Clark: If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas.

[Uncle Lewis lights his cigar accidentally burns the Christmas tree]

Clark: Lewis? My tree!

Uncle Lewis: So what's the matter with you?

Clark: Look what you've done to my tree!

Uncle Lewis: What is that?