Uncle Deadly Quotes in The Muppets (2011)

[Tex and Uncle Deadly are atop the Muppet Theater with a pair of boltcutters about to shut off the power]

Tex Richman: To the end of the Muppets!

[Uncle Deadly grabs the boltcutters to stop Tex]

Tex Richman: Deadly! What are you doing?

Uncle Deadly: Enough! Just because I have a terrifying name and an evil English accent, does not preclude the fact that, in my heart, I am a Muppet, not a Moopet! Looks like it's I who will have the last laugh!

Tex Richman: What does that mean?

Uncle Deadly: It's an idiom, you idiot, because you cannot laugh! Ha ha!

[Tex falls off the roof and lands on the ground with a thud]

Uncle Deadly: Oopsie.

[he laughs]

Tex Richman: Deadly.

Uncle Deadly: Now *that's* a maniacal laugh for you!

Bobo: [singing] Together again.

[Deadly joins in]

Bobo, Uncle Deadly: Gee, it's good to be...

Tex Richman: [cuts them off] NO SINGING IN MY OFFICE!

Uncle Deadly: How charming, a finale.

Statler: [the door opens, Statler, Waldorf, Uncle Deadly, Bobo the Bear, and Tex Richman enter the room] There, now this here is Kermit the Frog's old office.

Waldorf: Or so we've been 'toad'.

[Statler and Waldorf chuckle]

Tex Richman: Well, as you know, gentlemen, I've loved the Muppets since I was a boy.

Uncle Deadly, Bobo: Mm-hmm.

Tex Richman: And what better way to honor the Muppets than to make this beautiful studio a Muppet museum.

[Walter gasps while hiding underneath a table]

Tex Richman: I think I'll call this room the "Kermit the Frog's Old Office Room".

Uncle Deadly: Oh, good one, Mr. Richman.

Bobo: Oh, that is lovely.

Waldorf: Now, ahem, this here is the standard "Rich and Famous" contract Kermit signed 30 years ago that contains...

Tex Richman: The deed to this property.

Waldorf: Exactly.

Waldorf: Now, this contract is 100 percent iron-clad, with one minor exception: if the Muppets can raise the $10 million it would cost to buy the building before this contract expires, then they get their studio back.

Statler: You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were reciting some sort of an important plot point.

Waldorf: Well, I hope so; otherwise I just bored the audience half to death.

Statler: You mean half the audience is still alive?

[Statler and Waldorf chuckle]

Waldorf: It's nice doing business with you.

Statler: Yes, sir. Come on.

Waldorf: Good-bye.

Bobo: [to Uncle Deadly] I love geriatric humor.