Ula Quotes in 50 First Dates (2004)

Lucy: Yeah, that's right. Take that! And that! And that! And that! And that!

Henry: You got him. You got him. Enough. Enough.

Lucy: Are you okay?

Henry: Yes.

Lucy: Okay, I'll be right back. Hey! Come here!

Henry: No, no, no. I think he's had enough. I'm sorry.

Ula: My eye!

Henry: You got him!

Lucy: Not good enough.

Ula: Oh, Kamehameha!

Henry: He learned his lesson!

[to his children]

Ula: You kids suck; you're good at everything!

Henry: [after Ula speaks in Hawaiian] Thanks buddy. What does it mean, again?

Ula: Bring me back a t-shirt

Ula: Hey! Kikikuloa! No flippies off the dock! You could get hurt! Let the Master show you how it's done.

[after doing a painful belly flop off a dock]

Ula: One of you kids go down there and find my nuts!

Henry: Okay, this is her. Start beating me up. Make it look good.

Ula: Give me your wallet. Okay, haole, what do you think? You can come to this island, eat our pineapple.

Henry: Help me! Not so hard. Take it easy.

Ula: Try to bang our women. Making my sister clean your hotel room.

Henry: Okay. What does that have to do with this? Relax. Hey! Hey! Help me, please!

Ula: Stupid haole!

Henry: See what happens when you play with sharks.

Ula: Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts.

Henry: Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool! And if that's one of your special brownies, don't let any of the dolphins eat that!

Ula: How do you think I get the dolphins to do double-flips and play with the white kids?

Henry: [on video] The part of you for this reenactment will be played by my good friend, Ula.

Ula: [on video] Aloha. Sorry about your brain.

Ula: Really? Even though in 10-15 years she could possibly let herself go and then sex would be like, nauseating, for you?

Henry: What, are you nuts? Your wife's right over there.

Ula: I'm just kidding, Muumuu!

Ula's Kid: Hey, Dad.

Ula: Not now, Keanu Mokokokakau.

Ula's Kid: But your stitches are bleeding.

[while playing golf, Ula has ripped the stitches over a shark bite on his waist]

Ula: It must have been my huge back swing. You think you can stitch me up tonight after I get back from surfing?

Henry: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

Caddy: I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something.

Ula: What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful.

Caddy: Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut anyway?

Ula: A shark bit me.

Caddy: Nice! Go smoke another one, bro!

Ula: Come on, I need some details. You get some booby, some assy, a pull on your poi-poi? Come on.

Ula's Kid: Daddy, what's a nympho?

Ula: Uh, the nympho is the state bird of Ohio.

Henry: You're the state idiot of Hawaii.

Ula: [dressed up as Lucy, with a coconut bra on] Aquariums make me super horny!

Ula's Kid: What's wrong with that turtle?

Henry: He has lung problems cause he smoked too much turtle weed, which is bad for you. Right Ula?

Ula: What? I don't smoke weed.

Noreen: I'd like to do something extra fun tonight.

Ula: Uh-oh.

Ula: Oh, you crazy bitch!

Lucy: Yeah, keep running!

Ula: [to Henry] My shirt size is medium husky.

Henry: And why is your foot on my pillow?

Ula: Sorry brah

[removes to reveal a dirty footprint and brushes it off, then sits on the pillow]

Henry: And I don't want your ass on it either!

Ula: Dude, I met this sexy blonde tax attorney from Florida at Starbucks today. I told her you the kahuna she wanna have fun on this island. You want her number?

Henry: You pimping tourists for me again, Ula?

Ula: Yes! I live vicariously through you, remember? My life sucks. Now, come on give her the Waikikiki sneaky behind the cheeky.

Ula: You meet her, hang out, flirt, no commitment, nobody gets hurt.

Henry: She's got brain damage, you psycho.

Ula: Okay, I'll give you that one. But I think it'd be healthy for you. You haven't allowed yourself to connect with a girl for many years.

Henry: I appreciate your interest Ula, but leave me alone.

Ula: Hey, you'd be doing exactly what her father does: Giving her a wonderful day. Then when it's time for you to go on your big boat trip, poof, you just leave. She'll never even know you're gone.

Henry: See I'm not sure about the "poofing" part, because I'm not a very big poofer. Could you demonstrate a good poof for me.

Ula: Quit busting my coconuts for five seconds.

Henry: Alright. Would you stop poofing on that joint and do some work!

Ula: Okay. Let's get this sucker ready. Then we're gonna take her out for a spin.

Ula: [to Henry] You're such a lau lau.

Ula: [Ula falls through the deck of Henry's boat up to his chest] I think I pulled out my stitches again.

[pause]

Ula: Hey, did you get a cat? Because I feel something licking me...

Kit Hawksin: Excuse me. Did you say you're looking for a young Indian girl?

Manju R. Sethi: Yes! Yes-yes. Yes.

Kit Hawksin: I think I know the girl. I should. I gave her a hotel room last night. Pretty girl. No, I'm saying, good-looking kid. Wait a minute. Is this about me paying for it? 'Cause, I'll be honest with you, I do it all the time.

Rajeev Sethi: You are the one who has kidnapped my daughter!

Kit Hawksin: Wait! Kidnapped? Take it easy. Buddy, she wanted it. She liked it.

Ula: Yeah.

Manju R. Sethi: Is she with you?

Kit Hawksin: No, no, no. I was with her LAST night. Tonight she's probably with a guy I know. Or maybe two. He's got a partner.

Ula: Don't talk to me, don't look at me neither.