U.S. President Quotes in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

Zartan: Hello, Mr. President. Mr. McCullen sends his regards.

U.S. President: [shocked] Oh, my God. So, that's what this is all about.

U.S. President: It's time to turn off that war machine, and turn on our children.

General Panzer: What do you want to do, sir? About Russia, sir?

U.S. President: Yeah, why don't we call up and find out who's in charge over there this week.

U.S. President: The American people, Mr. Smiley, would never ever buy this.

Smiley: Mr. President, the American people will buy whatever we tell them to.

U.S. President: I want to say to Prime Minister MacDonald: Surrender her pronto, or we'll level Toronto.

U.S. President: You sold control of American missiles to a foreign country?

R.J. Hacker, President of Hacker Dynamics: If you can call Canada foreign.

Smiley: Or a country.

Secretary of State: We were thinking, what could be a bigger threat than aliens invading from space?

General Panzer: Ooh boy! Scare the shit out of everyone. Even me, sir!

U.S. President: Jesus, is this the best you could come up with? What about, ya know, international terrorism?

General Panzer: Well, sir, we're not going to re-open missile factories just to fight some creeps running around in exploding rental cars, are we, sir?

[attempting to speak French on the phone]

U.S. President: Écoutez!

[pause]

U.S. President: Vous avez gagné.

[pause]

U.S. President: [uncertain] Fermez les rockettes, okay!

[pause]

U.S. President: [embarrassed] About two years in high school and four years in college.

General Panzer: Why don't we just go up there with a strike force and knock out their infrastructure quicker than you can say collateral damage?

Smiley: No!

U.S. President: Oh no, no.

General Panzer: Why not?

U.S. President: Yeah, yeah, why not?

Smiley: Because a war with Canada would be over in a matter of days. Do you remember Grenada? They didn't even wake Reagan up.

General Panzer: Didn't have to.

Smiley: And all we found there were a bunch of rich American med school rejects and a couple Cuban construction workers

General Panzer: That's liberal bullshit! Cuba had a division in there.

Smiley: What about Panama? A couple of days of blasting Def Leppard over loud speakers and Noriega ran out weeping. And Iraq, ha! They were supposed to have this big bad army.

General Panzer: They had the biggest cannon, invented by a Canadian.

Smiley: In 72 hours after we invade they're begging for a Big Mack.

General Panzer: They stopped us a hundred miles short of Baghdad and we just sat there waving our dicks in the desert.

Smiley: Mr. President do you want more of that, or 50 years of Cold War prosperity because Joe Schmo American is scared shitless the world's gonna end before the next commercial.

U.S. President: Well, I think I like Mr. Smiley's approach.