TV Anchorman Quotes in Monsters, Inc. (2001)

TV Anchorman: If witnesses are to be believed, there has been a child security breach for the first time in monster history.

CDA Agent: We can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a human child here tonight.

Witness #1: Well the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision.

Witness #2: I tried to get away from it, but he picked me up with his mind powers and shook me like a doll.

Witness #3: [has many eyes] It's true! I saw the whole thing!

Professor on TV: It is my professional opinion that now it's the time to *panic*!

Sonny: [on a TV broadcast over the phone] I'm robbing a bank because they got money here. That's why I'm robbing it.

TV Anchorman: No, what I mean is why do you feel you have to steal for money? Couldn't you get a job?

Sonny: Uh, no. Doing what? You know if you want a job you've got to be a member of a union. See, and if you got no union card you don't get a job.

TV Anchorman: What about non-union occupations?

Sonny: What's wrong with this guy? What do you mean non-union, like what? A bank teller? You know how much a bank teller makes a week? Not much. A hundred and fifteen to start, right? Now are you going to live on that? I got a wife and a couple of kids, how am I going to live on that? What do you make a week?

TV Anchorman: Well I'm here to talk to you Sonny...

Sonny: Well I'm talking to you. We're entertainment, right? What do you got for us?

TV Anchorman: Well what do you want to get for it? Do you expect to be paid because...

Sonny: No, I don't want to be paid, I don't need to be paid. Look, I'm here with my partner and nine other people, see. And we're dying, man. You know? You're going to see our brains on the sidewalk, they're going to spill our guts out. Now are you going to show that on television? Have all your housewives look at that? Instead of As The World Turns? I mean what do you got for me? I want something for that.

TV Anchorman: Sonny, you could give up?

Sonny: Give up? Right. Have you ever been in prison?

TV Anchorman: No!

Sonny: No! Well let's talk about something you fucking know about, okay? How much do you make a week? That's what I want to hear. Are you going to talk to me about that?

[a "Please Stand By" graphic appears on the TV screen]

Sonny: Hey, what the fuck happened?

Mulvaney: I guess he didn't appreciate your use of language.

Sonny: Fuck him.

[last lines]

TV Anchorman: In a surprise announcement, the Republican National Committee has revealed it is bankrupt. A spokesman for the party said they had plenty of money in their accounts last week, but today they just don't know where the money has gone. But not everybody is going begging. Amnesty International, Greenpeace and the United Negro College Fund announced record earnings this week, due mostly to large, anonymous donations.

TV Anchorman: A great American is dead at 73. Family, friends and business associates are in mourning today at the news of the death of Henry Royce. Royce, one of the nation's most loved industrials and humanitarians died after suffering a heart attack. He was laid arrest in St. Louis in a private family ceremony. Meanwhile, the daughter of Henry Royce, Jessica is expected to be named in the Royce will as sole owner of the industrial empire.

TV Anchorman: [wide shot of the TV news desk and three people] How many stand for the consulship?

TV Pundit: [male pundit] Three, they say, but 'tis thought of everyone that Coriolanus will carry it.

TV Anchorman: [to the male pundit] That's a brave fellow, but he's vengeance proud and loves not the common people.

TV Pundit: [male pundit] There have been many great men that have flattered the people who never loved them. Therefore, for Coriolanus, neither to care whether they love or hate him manifests the true knowledge he has in their disposition. And, out of his noble carelessness, lets them plainly see it.

TV Pundit: [female pundit] But he seeks their hate with greater devotion than they can render at him. Now to seem to desire the malice and displeasure of the people is as bad as that which he dislikes, to flatter them for their love.

TV Anchorman: [to the female pundit] Consider you what services he has done for his country?

TV Pundit: [female pundit] Very well. And I would be content to give him good report for it, but that he pays himself with being proud.

TV Pundit: [turns and admonishes the female pundit] Nay, but speak not maliciously. He hath deserve worthily of his country