Turk Malloy Quotes in Ocean's Eleven (2001)

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Turk Malloy Quotes:

  • Turk Malloy: [intentionally arguing to each other extend the time needed for their balloons to block the security camera's view] Watch it, bud.

    Virgil Malloy: Who you calling bud, pal?

    Turk Malloy: Who you calling pal, friend?

    Virgil Malloy: Who you calling friend, jackass?

    Turk Malloy: Don't call me a jackass.

    Virgil Malloy: I just did call you a jackass.

  • Turk Malloy: [impatiently waiting in his truck to race against Virgil] I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French.

  • Virgil Malloy: [playing 20 questions as they wait for Danny, Yen and Basher to steal the pinch] Are you a man?

    Turk Malloy: Yes, nineteen.

    Virgil Malloy: Are you alive?

    Turk Malloy: Yes, eighteen.

    Virgil Malloy: Evel Knievel.

    Turk Malloy: ...shit.

  • [watching Yen prepares to somersault onto the vault]

    Turk Malloy: Ten says he shorts it.

    FrankLivingstonSaul: Twenty!

  • [while reconnoitering the casinos]

    Virgil Malloy: [makes a note] Leaving at 10:44.

    Turk Malloy: [belittling and criticizing him] 10:46, get a watch that works.

  • Rusty: [impersonating a doctor, referring to Saul pretending to be dead] I'm sorry. He's gone.

    Virgil Malloy: [as he and Turk enter, impersonating paramedics] Man, I told you to run.

    Turk Malloy: Don't do that.

    Virgil Malloy: What, I didn't tell you to run?

  • Turk Malloy: [at Ruben's house] Saul, do you get out to Utah much?

    Saul: Not as often as I'd like.

    Turk Malloy: Check it out. I think you'd dig Provo. You could do well there.

    Saul: I'll look into it.

  • Turk Malloy: Don't change the facial structure.

    Virgil Malloy: I'm making you taller. Don't you want to be taller? You're a midget in 34 states.

    Turk Malloy: Yeah, well, I'm an animal in the other 34.

    Virgil Malloy: [turns and stares at Turk]

    Turk Malloy: 24. 22.

  • Rusty Ryan: Turn the machine off guys.

    Turk Malloy: It is off.

    Rusty Ryan: Are you kidding?

    Turk Malloy: Does it sound like I'm laughing, sweetheart?

  • Turk Malloy: That was good.

    Virgil Malloy: I know. That's why they asked me to do it and not you.

    Turk Malloy: Okay, this is me offering you an olive basket. And this is you spitting in my face.

    Virgil Malloy: Oh, is that your face?

  • Turk Malloy: [referring to hacking into Banks' computer system] Are you in yet?

    Virgil Malloy: [knowing he was referring to that line spoken during sexual intercourse] I hate that question.

  • Turk Malloy: [referring to Willy Bank while standing around Reuben's hospital bed] I don't care if it gets messy.

    Virgil Malloy: I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.

    Livingston Dell: And I'll inject him.

    Basher Tarr: And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.

    Rusty Ryan: All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...

    Danny Ocean: But...

  • Danny Ocean: [during the tunnel boring machine induced earthquake as the casino is being evacuated when the machine is shut down and quake continues] This is not time for jokes, fellas!

    Turk Malloy: [underground with the TBM] Does it sound like I'm laughing, sweetheart.

  • Turk Malloy: [dressing as a chef] I feel bad, like torture.

    Saul Bloom: [putting together the faux dog speaker] This is war, kid. There's going to be collateral damage!

  • Linus Caldwell: [Linus is trying to convince everyone that Danny was actually the leader of "The Benedict Job"] Well, if any of you had a problem, who did you go to?

    Basher TarrTurk MalloyVirgil MalloyReuben TishkoffLivingston DellYenFrank Catton: [simultaneously] Rusty.

    Danny Ocean: Thanks, Linus.

  • Turk Malloy: It's ridiculous, I mean this is a moral issue we're dealing with here. Not to mention we don't have a grease man anymore, because he's in a bag somewhere. We don't know.

    Virgil Malloy: We got a bag man.

    Turk Malloy: Such an ape, an animal, with no feelings you are.

    Virgil Malloy: I have feelings.

    Turk Malloy: No, you don't.

    Virgil Malloy: Look, yeah, I do I feel bad for the guy. He's a human being in a piece of luggage, but you got water, he's got air. What did you want them to do?

    Turk Malloy: Oh my God they should have gotten off the bus, get off the bus and pick up the bag with our friend in it.

    Virgil Malloy: Get off the bus, they were trying to be inconspicuous. How many soccer teams do you know that are fielding 50 year-old men?

    Danny Ocean: Rusty's not 50 years old.

    Turk Malloy: Yeah, dude, we know Rusty's not 50.

  • Linus Caldwell: Um, all right, let's go over the list again. Ah, Swinging Priest?

    Basher Tarr: Not enough people.

    Linus Caldwell: Crazy Larry?

    Turk Malloy: Not enough people.

    Linus Caldwell: Soft shoulder?

    Basher Tarr: Not enough people.

    Linus Caldwell: Baker's dozen?

    Basher Tarr: No woman

    [pause]

    Basher Tarr: and not enough people.

    Turk Malloy: Hell in a Handbasket?

    Linus Caldwell: [sigh] We can't train a cat that quickly

    [pause]

    Linus Caldwell: and...

    Linus CaldwellBasher TarrTurk Malloy: Not enough people.

  • Reuben Tishkoff: I can handle Saul's share.

    Danny Ocean: You don't have to do that.

    Reuben Tishkoff: Who would I talk to if you're all dead?

    Danny Ocean: That's a good point. Alright, I owe 10. Amazing?

    Yen: [speaks in Mandarin]

    Rusty Ryan: [chuckles] Yeah, but it's a nice place.

    Livingston Dell: So that comes to?

    Reuben Tishkoff: 97, give or take.

    Rusty Ryan: He didn't find us on his own. Someone helped him.

    Reuben Tishkoff: Another thief.

    Linus Caldwell: Well, there's no-one we'd know that would violate rule number one.

    Danny Ocean: What we do know is we need a job. We need a high paying job.

    Linus Caldwell: Well, now we're too hot to be working anywhere in this country.

    Danny Ocean: So we go abroad. How 'bout we go to...

    Rusty Ryan: [cuts in] We're on the 5:00.

    Danny Ocean: Good. We're we going?

    Rusty Ryan: Amsterdam.

    Danny Ocean: Amsterdam, it is. Clock's running guys. Let's go.

    Linus Caldwell: I've never been to Amsterdam.

    Turk Malloy: I hear German girls are really hot.

  • Reuben Tishkoff: [banging on the bathroom door] Frank come on let me in.

    Turk Malloy: How do you think it feels when you're sitting down on the toilet and someone's banging on the door?

    Reuben Tishkoff: Well, I gotta sit down on the toilet or else I'm gonna shit on your feet.

  • Turk Malloy: I'll give you a million dollars if you don't speak for a month.

    Virgil Malloy: I wanna eat your whole head.

  • Linus Caldwell: So we do a Lookie-Loo... it's actually a Lookie-Loo with a Bundle of Joy!

    Basher Tarr: A Lookie-Loo... with Tess... and a Bundle of Joy?

    Linus Caldwell: Yeah!

    Basher Tarr: You've gone right out of your tree, my son.

    [looking at Turk]

    Basher Tarr: He's mad. It's madness.

    Turk Malloy: Yeah, it's crazy. It's Italian television crazy, and, we're still one short.

    Linus Caldwell: No no, but think about it. She can get near the egg, during daylight hours, with at least half the system down! Well that's a trifecta!

    Basher Tarr: You might be right. Make the call.

  • Danny Ocean: How much is everyone short?

    Turk Malloy: 14.

    Virgil Malloy: You're kidding me! You spent all but 5 million?

    Turk Malloy: Yes! Are you going to start on me with that too? You don't know what it's like starting something from scratch!

    Virgil Malloy: Well, with interest, I'm short 7.

    Frank Catton: Eight.

    Linus Caldwell: Well, I spent a million on talent development, so I guess that leaves me at 7. Boy, that interest just kills you, man!

    Basher Tarr: I'm light 9.

    Livingston Dell: What's the interest?

    Reuben Tishkoff: 6.

    Livingston Dell: Then I owe 6.

    Turk Malloy: What?

    Livingston Dell: I've been living with my parents.

    Rusty Ryan: I owe 25.

    [everyone looks at him, he chuckles wryly]

    Rusty Ryan: Hotels, man.

  • [on the Night Fox]

    Turk Malloy: Come on, he's one guy, and he's French.

  • Turk Malloy: [to Linus] Who died and made you Danny?

Browse more character quotes from Ocean's Eleven (2001)

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