Tuck Quotes in This Means War (2012)


Tuck Quotes:

  • Karate Dad: You're not listening to me.

    Tuck: Mate, can I have a quick word with you?

    [sucker punches him in the gut]

    Tuck: Okay, that's it, stand up. A brave man once said to me, "Pain is weakness leaving the body."

    Karate Dad: [grunting] Yes.

    Tuck: Bye, weakness.

  • FDR Foster: I missed you.

    Tuck: I know. I've missed you too.

    FDR Foster: I love you, man.

    Tuck: I love you, too.

    FDR Foster: We're back!

    Lauren: Oh, my God. I'm Yoko.

  • Katie: So what brings you to Hong Kong? Business or pleasure?

    FDR Foster: Pleasure.

    Tuck: Business.

    FDR Foster: A little of both.

    Katie: What kind of business are you in?

    FDR Foster: I am a cruise ship captain of a very large vessel. My small friend here is a kick-ass travel agent.

    Katie: Permission to come aboard, captain.

  • [last lines]

    FDR Foster: You never slept with Lauren?

    Tuck: You slept with my wife!

    [tackles him out of the airplane]

  • Tuck: Do we run or fight?

    Col. James Braddock: We don't have a choice now.

  • Col. James Braddock: I'm looking for Jack Tucker, is he around?

    Madame Pearl: He'll be here in a moment.

    [Tucker falls from over the railing in the second floor, onto a table and smashes it]

    Col. James Braddock: Thanks. How's it going, Tuck?

    Tuck: Braddock, what the hell are you doing here?

    Col. James Braddock: I wanna rent your boat. It's important, how much?

    Tuck: [Tucker replies while fighting goons] Five grand... four grand...

    Col. James Braddock: I didn't hear ya.

    Tuck: Two...

    Col. James Braddock: Did you say one thousand?

    Tuck: No... yeah, thousand bucks.

    Col. James Braddock: That's what I thought you said. Come on!

  • Tuck: You fired!

    Roll: You fired!

    Tuck: You fireeeeeed!

    Rosie: [in disgust] Oh, will you *shut up*?

    Tuck: Hey!

    Roll: You fired!

  • TuckRoll: Tweet, tweet! Tweet, tweet!

    Gypsy: [gasping] HUUUH!

  • [last lines]

    Tuck: When you're a kid you think you're invisible. You think you can't make a difference. We're not kids anymore. We know now that we can do anything. Having a friend light-years away taught us that distance is just a state of mind. If you're best friends, then you always will be... No matter where you are in the universe.

  • [first lines]

    Tuck: All right, mom, I'm leaving. Spending the night at Alex's house so we can play a new video game.

    Theresa Simms: [busy talking] Have whatever you want, honey.

    Tuck: You know what, I lied, actually. We're gonna ride our bikes out into the desert, at night, alone. Without supervision.

    Theresa Simms: [still busy talking] Okay, see you then, sweetie.

    Tuck: Also rob a bank. Go to Mexico. Maybe even start a new life.


  • Christine Hastings: Who's this?

    Alex: That's Emma.

    Emma: I'm, uh, he's my boyfriend. I mean, friend who's a boy.

    Tuck: Awkward.

  • Tuck: You know, they say the girls you argue with are the ones you like.

    Alex: Don't go there, bro.

  • Tuck: [rumbling, then a sustained high-pitch tone] What was that?

    Munch: F-sharp?

  • Tuck: I've never gone a day without seeing my friends They're, like, the only people in the world who get me.

  • Tuck: So let me get this right. So you're building a spaceship...

    Alex: He's building a spaceship.

    Tuck: ...and you need our help building the spaceship?

    Alien Object: [yes]

    Alex: This guy is building a spaceship.

    Tuck: Hold up, hold up, hold up. Let me make sure I don't have any plans.


    Tuck: Nope! We're building a spaceship!

  • Tuck: You know what, I lied actually.We're gonna ride our bikes in to the desert at night alone.

  • Tuck: Remember that thistle problem I had in the garden last year? Thistle is one tough weed. You can't pull it, or mow it. You have to dig it out by the root.While I was digging I got to thinking about you and Dawson.you have wounds that never healed and you lived with them so long you don't even know they're there anymore.Pain has deep roots.The only way to dig it out is to forgive him, and forgive yourself.

  • Tuck: Yo, why my crib smell like Funyuns, broccoli and ball sweat?

  • Professor Bromley: Eohippus, if you are one, what are you doing here over 50 million years after you should be extinct. Could be a freak of nature, of course.

    Tuck: Is there any way you can tell?

    Professor Bromley: By checking its origin. If I could prove that this is the genuine article I should undoubtedly receive a knighthood, Mr Kirby, for the greatest scientific discover of the age.

    Tuck: The greatest scientific discovery of the age? T.J. doesn't know what she's got herself.

  • Professor Bromley: I'm prepared to pay a guide handsomely.

    Tia Zorina: To lead to you the forbidden valley? No, not for all the gold in the world.

    Tuck: What's this forbidden valley?

    Tia Zorina: From there came the little horse and until he is returned a great evil will fall upon us.

    Professor Bromley: Rubbish!

    Tia Zorina: I tell you, unless the little horse is returned we shall all suffer the curse of hell.

    Professor Bromley: Superstitious clap-trap! There's nothing hocus-pocus about that little horse. Don't you realise, we've discovered a living specimen of the Eohippus.

    Tuck: What, you mean that thing really is an Eohippus?

    Professor Bromley: Of course!...well, naturally we'd have to prove it by scientific research.

  • Professor Bromley: This circle of mountains, jagged peaks, steep cliffs, could be the perfect barrier against man and the elements.

    Tuck: No wonder they call it the forbidden valley.

    Professor Bromley: Yes, it might be the answer to many things. We shall soon see, Mr Kirby.

  • Professor Bromley: I can't go now!

    Tuck: Professor, there's a big lizard back there and he's heading this way. Now get aboard!

  • Rowdy: In all my travels I never seen anything like that two-ton lizard. If we could just get him back alive.

    Tuck: Yeah, the only thing I want to get back alive is me.

  • Tia Zorina: It is as I foretold. Gwangi has killed Carlos just as he killed his brother, Miguel.

    Tuck: Well, how d'ya know that?

    Tia Zorina: In a dream I saw it...the great jaws snapping, the riderless horse. He was doomed and so will you be doomed ALL OF YOU unless the evil one is set free!

    Professor Bromley: Balderedash, my good woman, balderdash! He's no more evil than an alligator. The only thing evil about him are his jaws. Spells? He can cast no spells.

  • Professor Bromley: In the name of world science I beg you...I implore you to think again.

    Tuck: Later, professor, we've got a show to put on.

    Professor Bromley: A show! A show! But it's disgraceful to think of putting this fabulous creature on display in a cheap circus.

    T.J.: We can do what we like with Gwangi. He's our property.

    Professor Bromley: He belongs to us all, to mankind, to scientific research.

    Tuck: Easy, professor.

    T.J.: You can do your research in the time we give you. You can follow us on our world tour.

    Professor: You must be mad...raving mad. World tour? We'll see what The Royal Society has to say about this.

  • Tuck: Well, you don't seem very glad to see me, Champ.

    Champ Connors: About as glad as a dying mule to see a vulture.

Browse more character quotes from This Means War (2012)


Characters on This Means War (2012)