Trudi Quotes in L.A. Story (1991)

Tom: I'll have a decaf coffee.

Trudi: I'll have a decaf espresso.

Morris Frost: I'll have a double decaf cappuccino.

Ted: Give me decaffeinated coffee ice cream.

Harris: I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon.

Trudi: I'll have a twist of lemon.

Tom: I'll have a twist of lemon.

Morris Frost: I'll have a twist of lemon.

Cynthia: I'll have a twist of lemon.

Trudi: Sheila has been studying the art of conversation.

Harris: Oh, you're taking a course in conversation?

Sheila: Yes.

[long pause]

Harris: I'm not kissing anyone hello anymore.

Trudi: Well just shake hands with them.

Harris: Are you kidding? I just wash my hands and I shake hands with some guy that feels like he's been squashing caterpillars.

Harris: So, I'll see you Sunday?

Trudi: I got a shower Sunday.

Harris: Oh yeah, and I really should take a bath... Monday?

Harris: A sign spoke to me, said I was in trouble.

Trudi: If you're talking to signs, you are in trouble.

[Trudi admits to Harris that she has been cheating on him]

Harris: How long has this been going on?

Trudi: Three years.

Harris: Three years? You mean this has been going on since the '80s?

Roland: Sara just got off a plane from London.

Trudi: Oh, you must be exhausted.

Sara: Yes, I'm shattered, but it's nothing that some sleep and a good fuck wouldn't cure, as my sister used to say. Ha ha ha.

[Everyone stares]

Roland: You'll have to forgive Sara.

Sara: Oh, it was just... it was just a figure of speech. I've been on a plane for twelve hours next to a crying baby.

Trudi: Do bullets go bad?

Harris: No, it's not like milk. They don't have expiration date or anything.

[Trudi is loading a gun]

Harris: Don't point it at me!

Trudi: Sorry, I don't know gun etiquette.

Trudi: Isn't that girl Sara awful? I mean, what's with that accent?

Harris: She has an accent because she's English.

Trudi: Or maybe she's just trying to impress everybody.

Harris: Oh, like that big phony, Winston Churchill.

Trudi: He said it's the first day of spring.

Harris: Oh shit! Open season on the L.A. freeway!

Trudi: One of the first things I always teach my clients is about the point system. You should never have more than seven things on. You know, like your earrings count for two points, those daisies count for three points. But the best thing to do is, right before you go out, look in the mirror and turn around real fast, and the first thing that catches your eye, get rid of it. I mean, I had this thing in my hair before I left, remember? And I pulled it right out, 'cause as soon as I turned, gone! Marilyn Monroe did that.

Trudi: You know how they use that gun to pierce your ears? They don't use that when they pierce your nipples, do they?

Jody: Forget that gun. That gun goes against the entire idea behind piercing. All of my piercings, sixteen places on my body, all of them done with a needle. Five in each ear, one through the nipple on my left breast, one through my right nostril, one through my left eyebrow, one in my lip, one in my clit... and I wear a stud in my tongue.

Vincent: Excuse me, but I was just wondering... why do you wear a stud in your tongue?

Jody: It's a sex thing. It helps fellatio.

Lance: Don Vincenzo. Step into my office?

Trudi: I'd kick you in the balls if you had any.