Troy Barlow Quotes in Three Kings (1999)

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Troy Barlow Quotes:

  • Archie Gates: What's the most important thing in life?

    Troy Barlow: Respect.

    Archie Gates: Too dependent on other people.

    Conrad Vig: What, love?

    Archie Gates: A little Disneyland, isn't it?

    Chief Elgin: God's will.

    Archie Gates: Close.

    Troy Barlow: What is it then?

    Archie Gates: Necessity.

    Troy Barlow: As in?

    Archie Gates: As in people do what is most necessary to them at any given moment.

  • Archie Gates: Sit down. What do you see here?

    Chief Elgin: Bunkers, sir.

    Archie Gates: What's in them?

    Troy Barlow: Stuff they stole from Kuwait.

    Archie Gates: Bullshit. I'm talking about millions in Kuwaiti bullion.

    Conrad Vig: You mean them little cubes you put in hot water to make soup?

    Archie Gates: No, not the little cubes you put in hot water to make soup.

  • [first lines]

    Troy Barlow: Are we shooting?

    Soldier: What?

    Troy Barlow: Are we shootin' people or what?

    Soldier: Are we shooting?

    Troy Barlow: That's what I'm asking you!

    Soldier: What's the answer?

    Troy Barlow: I don't know the answer! That's what I'm trying to find out!

  • [Walter's wearing night-vision goggles in broad daylight]

    Troy Barlow: Hey, would you take those fucking things off?

    Walter: I never got to use night-vision.

    Troy Barlow: They do not work during the day!

    Walter: Yeah, they kinda work.

  • [after seeing that Chief can't throw a football straight]

    Conrad Vig: Blacks make better receivers than quarterbacks.

    Troy Barlow: Stop speaking right now, Conrad!

  • Troy Barlow: Hey, I don't know if I can do this. I got a family. If I'm gonna shit in a bag for the rest of my life because I got shot after the war was over, that would be pretty fucking stupid wouldn't it, Major?

  • Troy Barlow: I'm gonna buy a set of Lexus convertibles in every color.

    Chief Elgin: I told you, Lexus don't make a convertible.

    Troy Barlow: I'll bet you a Lexus they do.

    Chief Elgin: Alright, but it won't be a convertible.

  • Troy Barlow: Walter, just stand outside so Chief can translate my Iraqi ass map... okay?

  • Archie Gates: Any questions?

    Conrad Vig: Yeah, is it true to be special forces, you gotta cut off an enemy's ear?

    Archie Gates: [to Troy Barlow] Are you able to control him?

    Troy Barlow: Yes, sir. He'll be fine, I promise.

  • Conrad Vig: One gold Rolex would get me a very nice split-level house outside of Garland.

    Troy Barlow: Five Rolexes would get my family that Lexus convertible.

    Chief Elgin: I told you, Lexus doesn't make a convertible.

    Troy Barlow: Yes they do, it has room in the back for a kid's seat.

    Chief Elgin: Infiniti has a convertible but not Lexus.

    Troy Barlow: Wrong.

    Chief Elgin: Either way, the Good Lord has put this map in our path and I believe we're gonna find something.

    Troy Barlow: Yeah, he could also put a land mine in our path if we go out there.

  • Troy Barlow: Let's just stick to the plan. The plan is for the gold, right?

    Chief Elgin: Hold on, we can help these people first, and then we can be on our way.

  • [Maj. Gates knows a map has been found in one of an Iraqi soldier's orifices, but isn't sure which]

    Archie Gates: Good afternoon. Would this be the proctology tent?

    Chief Elgin: No, sir.

    Archie Gates: Maybe it's the urology tent. Or the neurology tent. Or the ear, nose, and throat tent.

    Troy Barlow: Captain's at a staff meeting, sir.

    Archie Gates: Captain a proctologist?

    Conrad Vig: What's a proctologist, sir?

  • Archie Gates: Load the people into the Humvee!

    Troy Barlow: There's no room!

    Archie Gates: Make room!

    Troy Barlow: Whatever happened to necessity?

    Archie Gates: It just changed!

  • Troy Barlow: We'll I'm gonna be wearing some fashionable Kevlar.

    Conrad Vig: Yeah, me too.

  • Debbie Barlow: Hello?

    Troy Barlow: Honey, it's me.

    Debbie Barlow: Troy? Oh my god! Oh, baby, I was hoping it was you.

    Troy Barlow: It's me honey.

    Debbie Barlow: Oh God, the baby's crying.

    Troy Barlow: How's she doing?

    Debbie Barlow: She hasn't been sleeping too good, and my mom had to go back to work, so I'm real tired baby.

    Troy Barlow: Oh, I wish I was there to help, gooney bird.

    Debbie Barlow: Oh, gooney bird, when are you coming home?

    Troy Barlow: Well I'm working on that right now baby.

    Debbie Barlow: I saw an ad for a computer job, you want me to call and set up an interview?

    Troy Barlow: Listen, honey...

    Debbie Barlow: What date are you coming home?

    Troy Barlow: Well, I told you, they haven't given us an exact date yet...

    Debbie Barlow: Well, maybe if I had an exact date I could call and set...

    Troy Barlow: Debbie, listen to me! Please!

    Debbie Barlow: What's happening?

    [an explosive goes off behind Troy]

    Debbie Barlow: What was that?

    Troy Barlow: The wall just exploded.

    Debbie Barlow: I thought the war was over honey.

    Troy Barlow: Well it is and it isn't baby... could you do me a favor and call the reserve center?

    Debbie Barlow: What do you want me to do?

    Troy Barlow: Tell them, I'm stuck in a bunker near 223 North, outside Karbala, okay?

    Debbie Barlow: [writing it down] 2... 2... 3... North... outside... Karbala. You're okay right? Everything's okay?

Browse more character quotes from Three Kings (1999)

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