Townspeople Quotes in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)

PC McIntosh: [the townspeople are discussing the attack on their vegetables] If you ask me, this was arson.

Townspeople: [gasp]

Mr. Caliche: Arson?

PC McIntosh: Yeah, somebody arsin' around! One of you lot!

Townspeople: [singing] We'll hang Bertram Cates to a sour apple tree, we'll hang Bertram Cates to a sour apple tree, we'll hang Bertram Cates to a sour apple tree. Our God is marching on! Glory Glory Hallelujah! Glory Glory Hallelujah! Glory Gory Hallelujah! His truth is marching on. We'll hang Henry Drummond to a sour apple tree, we'll hang Henry Drummond to a sour apple tree, we'll hang Henry Drummond to a sour apple tree, our God is marching on.

[Harriet Johnson reads her letter to the Governor]

Harriet Johnson: [quietly] To the honorable William J. LePetomaine, Governor...

Townspeople: Louder! We can't hear you!

Harriet Johnson: I'm not used to public speaking.

[clears her throat]

Harriet Johnson: WE

[Everyone jumps in shock]

Harriet Johnson: THE WHITE, GODFEARING CITIZENS OF ROCK RIDGE wish to express our extreme displeasure with your choice of sheriff. Please remove him immediately! The fact that you have sent him here just goes to prove that you are the leading asshole in the state!

Bart: Just give me twenty-four hours to come up with a brilliant idea to save our town. Just twenty-four hours, that's all I ask.

Townspeople: [in unison] No!

Bart: You'd do it for Randolph Scott.

Townspeople: [reverently] Randolph Scott...

Townspeople: [singing in the fashion of a church choir] RANDOLPH SCOTT!

Howard Johnson: All right, Sheriff. Twenty-four hours.

Reverend Johnson: [praying] O Lord, do we have the strength to carry off this mighty task in one night? Or are we just jerking off?

Townspeople: Amen.

Townspeople: The town saloon was always lively / But never nasty or obscene / Behind the bar stood Anal Johnson / He always kept things nice and clean

[Anal Johnson is standing behind the bar washing a beer mug; he spits into the mug, belches, and continues to wipe the mug]

Ned Nederlander: This is not a town of weaklings! You can use your strengths against El Guapo. Now, what is it that this town really does well?

Townspeople: Hmmm. Hmmm? Ummm.

[long pause]

Mama Sanchez: We can sew!

Dusty Bottoms: There you go, you can sew.

Ned Nederlander: Ah.

Dusty Bottoms: If only we had known this sooner.

Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander, Dusty Bottoms: [the Three Amigos step out into the street while Carmen gets the horses]

Bandito #3: If I don't get some tequila, somebody's gonna die!

[Shoots the clay pots off the railing at one of the nearby homes]

Lucky Day: I'm Lucky Day!

Ned Nederlander: I'm Ned Nederlander!

Dusty Bottoms: And I'm Dusty Bottoms! And together we are...

Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander, Dusty Bottoms: The Three Amigos!

[each does the Amigo salute]

Lucky Day: [sees Carmen has brought the horses] Let's ride!

Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander, Dusty Bottoms: [the Three Amigos mount their horses, and ride to stand, horse to horse, with the banditos]

Lucky Day: Well, you slime eating dogs! You scum sucking pigs! You sons of a motherless goat!

Bandito #2: Son of a motherless goat? And who are you?

Ned Nederlander: Wherever there is injustice, you will find us. Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there!

[pauses]

Ned Nederlander: Line!

Dusty Bottoms: [under breath] Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find...

Ned Nederlander: Wherever liberty is threatened! You will find...

Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander, Dusty Bottoms: The Three Amigos!

[begin riding their horses all over the town square, shooting their pistols in the air]

Lucky Day: Arriba! Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Dusty Bottoms: [juggles his gun back and forth from each hand, grins]

Ned Nederlander: Arriba!

Bandito #3: Who are these monkeys?

Bandito #2: I don't know!

Bandito #3: Should we kill them?

Bandito #2: No! Let's go tell El Guapo what we have seen here!

Bandito #2, Bandito #3: [turn their horses around, and ride off towards their encampment]

Lucky Day: Ah Ha Ha! And don't come back!

Townspeople: Viva Los Amigos! Viva Los Amigos!

Pablo: Viva Los Amigos!

[the townspeople begin to cheer and chant the Amigos]