Two year olds quotes:

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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old. -- Erma Bombeck
My heart goes out to the grieving parents who lost their two-year-old or their newborn. -- Elizabeth Edwards
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. -- Jerry Seinfeld
Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. -- Denis Leary
If you've ever hauled a 28-pound two-year-old around New York, you'll find that men fold at the knees a lot quicker than women. -- Anthony Bourdain
I write like a two-year-old and I can't spell -- Harry Redknapp
I was about two years old when I first started drawing recognizable characters. -- Seth MacFarlane
Exactly how intricate a sport is jogging? You were two years old. You ran after the cat. You pretty much had it mastered -- Rick Reilly
I was two years old when my mom put me in mommy and me classes. I always had a lot of energy so it was the perfect fit! -- Aly Raisman
Asked by reporters about his upcoming marriage to a forty-two-year-old woman, director Roman Polanski told reporters, `The way I look at it, she's the equivalent of three fourteen-year-olds.' -- David Letterman
My son Darrel could recite 'Straight Outta Compton' at two years old. He loved it! You can expose your kids to anything as long as you sit there and explain it to them. -- Ice Cube
April is the two-week-old kitten, the month-old lamb, the six-month-old heifer, the two-year-old girl. Too young to know it has either past or future, it wears the ribbon of the fleeting present as part of itself ... -- Gladys Hasty Carroll
Some people with Tourette's have flinging tics- sudden, seemingly motiveless urges or compulsions to throw objects..... (I see somewhat similar flinging behaviors- though not tics- in my two year old godson, now in a stage of primal antinomianism and anarchy) -- Oliver Sacks
I left Cuba when I was two years old. They took away my country, they stole the most intimate thing a human being can have. How could I forget that Fidel Castro was the person who did me so much harm? -- Gloria Estefan
My grandmother's feet had been bound when she was two years old. Her mother...first wound a piece of white cloth about twenty feet long round her feet, bending all the toes except the big toe inward and under the sole. Then she placed a large stone on top to crush the arch. -- Jung Chang
My father died when I was two years old. But my mother was quite capable. She raised three children with his war pension which was peanuts. Yet we did not want for anything. We grew up with a certain parsimony, which is a nice thing. Then if life gives you more good, otherwise you get used to. I'm still thrifty. -- Giulio Andreotti
Sometimes when I'm going to sleep, I think, 'Oh God, my future husband is out there somewhere and I might know him, or I might not, and I wonder what he's doing and I wonder if he knows me.' I just always think that's so fascinating, that even when you were two years old, your future husband was out there somewhere. -- Emma Roberts
My dad abandoned me when I was about two years old. So, he wasn't around to protect me the way I needed to be protected. I started getting sexually abused from the time I was about five years old to the time I was ten. It really messed with my sense of self worth and my sense of all that was good with the world, almost. -- Pattie Mallette
He [Julius Caesar] learned that Alexander , having completed nearly all his conquests by the time he was thirty-two years old, was at an utter loss to know what he should do during the rest of his life, whereat Augustus expressed his surprise that Alexander did not regard it as a greater task to set in order the empire which he had won than to win it. -- Augustus
I have a two-year-old who just turned three, and my four-year-old just turned five. I have the same irrational feelings taking them to pre-school. It's this charged combination of stress and joy and anxiety and excitement. When they're away, you've got a sudden loss of purpose and this ever-present fear about the kid's welfare. The departure of our children from our nest is not an easy thing. -- Vera Farmiga
A two-and-a-half-year-old is pretty experienced at making a mess, anyway. -- Bill Nye
I was recruited to teach 9-year-olds. I taught for two years. -- Sting
A 50-year-old company can innovate as well as two guys/gals in a garage. -- Guy Kawasaki
The female attention I have to struggle hardest with is from my two-year-old daughter. -- Dan Stevens
Imagine a 15-year-old kid saying, 'I have two moms - it's cool.' I don't fear that at all. -- Henry Rollins
You can't live like a monk if you have two five-year-old twins. That ain't happening. Just the opposite, actually. -- Scott Ellis
Nothing is better than showing up twice a week, acting like a 12 year-old for two hours, and then going home. -- Reid Scott
Sometimes, you'll watch the news and you'll see two-year-old boys in South Africa, wearing 'Spider-Man' t-shirts. It's such a global phenomenon. -- James Vanderbilt
I think I need a little break. I've got a two-year old. I'll be part of The Leisure Class for a while. -- Lauren Ambrose
I'm trying to find a man to share my life with, but it's not been easy. I'm a 35-year-old woman with two small children. -- Nicole Kidman
What I discovered in Auschwitz is the human condition, the end point of a great adventure, where the European traveler arrived after his two-thousand-year-old moral and cultural history. -- Imre Kertesz
Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow. -- Ellen DeGeneres
What I do remember is visualization of the sound of music, seeing bodies in movement in relation to how music sounded, because my mother practiced at the keyboard a lot and I also went to her lessons. As a two year old, three year old I remember seeing things in movement. -- Twyla Tharp
When I was a young mother at home with a two year old and a five year old, living on the Eastside in one of those neighborhoods where all the houses look the same, where all the cars look the same and the lawns look the same, I was writing in secret. -- Deb Caletti
As long as you think of your real self as the person you are, then of course you're going to be fearful of death. But what is a person? A person is a pattern of behavior, of a larger awareness. You know, the two-year-old dies before the three-year-old shows up, the three-year-old dies before the teenager shows up. -- Deepak Chopra
Umpiring is best described as the profession of standing between two seven-year olds with one ice cream cone. -- Ron Luciano
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You might think that's an exaggeration but believe me, if you leave twin two-year-olds alone in your living room, at some point a cow will be airborne. -- Ray Romano
The idea that you can take smart but inexperienced 25-year-olds who never managed anything and turn them into effective managers via two years of classroom training is ludicrous. -- Henry Mintzberg
I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.. -- Ray Romano

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