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[On being lesbian:] One pointer: don't come out to your dad in a moving vehicle. -- Kate Clinton
Why are they sad and glad and bad? I do not know, go ask your dad. -- Dr. Seuss
You don't remember the times your dad held your handle bars. You remember the day he let go. -- Lenore Skenazy
Fatherhood is the unending imperfect task of turning yourself into your dad while secretly maintaining the unbridled elation of your boyhood -- Chris Hadfield
Acting careers dont come out fully formed - not unless your name is Jaden Smith and your dad has done it all. -- John Boyega
There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'. -- Jim Gaffigan
Liberals want the government to be your Mommy. Conservatives want government to be your Daddy. Libertarians want it to treat you like an adult. -- Andre Marrou
My dad had been shortstop when he was in college, and you know, when you're a kid, you want to be just like your dad. -- Derek Jeter
I wouldn't want to do a 'Maury Povich' show. Baby daddy! Who's your daddy? Who's your mama? I wouldn't want to do that kind of show. -- NeNe Leakes
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say Yeah? When? -- Bill Hicks
Mental illness can happen to anybody. You can be a dustman, a politician, a Tesco worker... anyone. It could be your dad, your brother or your aunt. -- Frank Bruno
People who build family businesses are not classically trained. They have to deal with an enormous amount of politics. You think corporate politics are tough? Go work for your dad or your mom. -- Gary Vaynerchuk
We all understand genetics. You get your eyes from your dad, your mom's nose, there's nothing you can do about that. But your spiritual genetics you can choose, pick, embrace and commit to. That's what I did. -- Chris Gardner
You can tell your uncle stuff that you could not tell your dad. That is kind of the role of an uncle. I feel very much like a father sometimes but sometimes I feel like a teammate. -- Dusty Baker
Conservatives want to be your daddy, telling you what to do and what not to do. Liberals want to be your mommy, feeding you, tucking you in, and wiping your nose. Libertarians want to treat you as an adult. -- David Boaz
One day you will come to Montauk and see your dad playing the piano And see your other dad wearing glasses Hope that you will want to stay for a while Don't worry I know you'll have to go -- Rufus Wainwright
The things that you did with parents, whether it was spending every Sunday morning with your dad and eating French toast and watching Popeye, or decorating the Christmas tree with our mother - these are memories that help you be happy. -- Leonardo DiCaprio
I never mind talking about my dad. I'm proud of who he is, and being his son is one of the things I'm most proud of. To be constantly compared to someone so brilliant, who happens to be your dad, is cool. -- Rafe Spall
Nikah is a contract that transfers responsibilities. Therefore know the man you're thinking of marrying, and be sure that he is able to take care of you, more than your dad did. Islam empowers women with honor and dignity. Don't settle for anything less. -- Nouman Ali Khan
Once you learn the idea of what a good guy is, you want your dad to be a good guy, and when your dad lets you down and doesn't act like a good guy, it's disappointing and can make you angry as you see it happen, which is beautiful and very believable. -- Viggo Mortensen
The last thing I want my child to see is Dad running around in the middle of the pack. That would really upset me. And that would upset him. I would be embarrassed to take him to school with kids saying, 'Hey, how'd your dad do this weekend?' 'Well, he finished fifth or sixth'. -- Dan Wheldon
Within our culture, every school has a swimming pool. We lived on the coast. People swam in the surf. It's a very sporty nation and at that particular time anyone who had an artistic bent was very much an outsider. So if you liked reading or ideas or playing the piano then your dad viewed you as a sissy, basically. -- Geoffrey Rush
Logan: I need your help.Dad: Anything. -- Jay McLean
It's nice when your dad can be your friend. -- Katie Cassidy
That wasn't your mom in youâ??that was your dad. -- Ally Carter
This ring belongs to the black hand. He killed your dad. -- Becca Fitzpatrick
A dramatic thing, the first time you stand up to your dad. -- Lenny Kravitz
My dad's death reminds me of earthquakes - things that shake your foundation. -- Tim Allen
Eventually, it wasn't even your dad I wanted, just anybody. Anybody at all. -- Sarah Dessen
Watching TV mum said," Do you miss your dad?" And I said," Who? -- Louise Rennison
I heard a rumor that your mom and dad ran away from home. -- Bobby Heenan
My love is tube shaped. Don't let your dad stick his dick in it. -- Jarod Kintz
When your dad's a cop, calling 911 is really just like calling Dad at work. -- Ryan Reynolds
Your dad didn't die, so I won't be able to explain it to you. -- Jonathan Safran Foer
Listen to your mom and dad! They are almost always right, especially about boys. -- Melissa Ordway
You need your mom and dad to protect you. It means they love you so much. -- Gabby Douglas
My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish. -- Dov Davidoff
The satisfaction you get when you finally beat your dad is amazing, that rush of adrenaline. -- Lee Westwood
You get to a certain age and you can't judge yourself on your dad or your parents. -- Ellie Goulding
I don't want to wear your dad's clothes. He hates me." "You'd rather wear mine?" Nash scowled. -- Rachel Vincent
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday. -- Jeff Foxworthy
Sunlight feels warm and rough against your skin like a kiss on the cheek from your dad. -- John Green
Fighting Dad's not a fight. Fighting dad is, Hi, you've just instigated your own mugging! Come on down! -- Christopher Titus
You don't want your children to look at you like you are anything special other than their dad. -- Martin Freeman
We under no circumstances know the appreciate of your parent till we develop into dad and mom ourselves. -- Henry Ward Beecher
When your dad is a country music fan and you take long car trips, you become one too. -- Chip Esten
As a dad, it's kind of exciting to see that your son follows what you believe in so strongly. -- Connie Mack IV
My dad sent me a text saying, 'You know who you should play? Columbo. That's your Academy Award.' -- Mark Ruffalo
My blood G cold, never seen my dad cry. And I'm a bleed your block til the cash dry! -- Vinnie Paz
Direct sales offers the education my rich dad taught: build your own network rather than working for a network. -- Robert Kiyosaki
You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison. -- Jeff Foxworthy
I guess if you are making more money than your mom and dad, you can set your own boundaries. -- Alexa Vega
My dad told us up front, 'Guys, if you want to play sports, go ahead, but it's your decision. -- Peyton Manning
So, your dad's hot." "Thanks. He was that way when I met him, so I can't really take credit. -- Ally Carter
I learned that from my dad: you put your heart into something, you have to protect it, what you're making. -- Sofia Coppola
When you get older your dad becomes this other man rather than a scary man, and you have a friendship. -- Tim Heidecker
My dad told us up front, 'Guys, if you want to play sports, go ahead, but it's your decision.' -- Peyton Manning
My dad told me, 'Your movie's never as good as the dailies and never as bad as the rough cut. -- Sofia Coppola
'Keep your head down at school.' Those are sage words from my dad. They kept me in check for years. -- Dhani Harrison
My dad used to say, 'Just because you dress up in a coat and tie, it doesn't influence your intelligence.' -- Tiger Woods
Keep your head down at school.' Those are sage words from my dad. They kept me in check for years. -- Dhani Harrison
Assume whatever you do, both offline and online, will be seen by your mother, dad, boss, coach, boyfriend, teacherâ?¦ the world. -- Erik Qualman
Roger speaking to Brianna: It's too important. You don't forget having a dad." You do remember your father?" No. I remember yours. -- Diana Gabaldon
I'm tired of eating your family's lousy, tasteless recipes," Dad said. "Tasteless recipes? My grandmother's rolling in her grave!" "It's from indigestion. -- Neal Shusterman
Drummed into me, above all, by my dad, by the whole family, was that without your good name, you would be nothing. -- Arthur Ashe
In 1997, in Rich Dad, Poor Dad, I stated, 'Your home is not an asset.' Real estate agents sent me hate mail. -- Robert Kiyosaki
Becoming a dad means you have to be a role model for your son and be someone he can look up to. -- Wayne Rooney
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor. -- Jeff Foxworthy
My dad said 'When you love what you do, you never work a day in your life,' and I agree with that. -- Hunter Hayes
When I grew up, people said, 'You'll never be the man your dad was.' And I said, 'Gee, I hope not.' -- Rip Torn
My dad is a natural-born encourager. The last person who will ever tell you to lower your sights or give up your dream. -- Tiffany Trump
No, no, no, no,no,' he gasped. 'You can't bring up your mum and dad while your hand is down there, Finke -- Melina Marchetta
Henry: Well I'm sorry about your head though, but I thought you were one of them. Indiana: Dad, they come in through the doors. -- Harrison Ford
It's not easy for you, Dad You seek your own space You slope off to watch telly But still see (Mom's Mum's Mam's) face -- John Walter Bratton
I've been a dad since I was nineteen, so I think a lot about fatherhood and the power of that sacrifice in your life. -- Jess Walter
Barry, you're over thirty years old. You owe it to your mum and dad not to sing in a group called Sonic Death Monkey. -- Nick Hornby
This morning my dad called me up and said, 'So, tonight's your last show, huh.' And I said, 'No, Dad, that's someone else.' -- Jimmy Fallon
Do Mom and Dad know you're dating a homicidal lunatic? (Madaug) No, and if you tell them, I'll superglue your fingertips to your keyboard. (Eric) -- Sherrilyn Kenyon
My dad probably gave me the best advice growing up. I think it's really just keeping your cool in situations and learning to balance everything. -- Cassie Steele
You want to know how Egyptians pulled the brains out of mummies. or built the pyramids, or cursed King Tut's tomb? My dad's your man. -- Rick Riordan
In a school where everyone is famous or rich or whatever, you have a culture, 'What does your dad do?' 'What does your mom do? -- Cynthia Nixon
When your dad makes a living as a children's singer, you figure, 'I can do anything.' He made up his own job and did it. -- Andy Grammer
You'll often find that it's not mom or dad, husband or wife, or the kids that's stopping you. It's you. Get out of your own way. -- Robert Kiyosaki
If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it. -- Billy Crystal
Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape. -- Dave Attell
A lot of times, it gets weird when some guy is playing your dad. It feels weird to you. It feels like they're forcing sentiment. It's disgusting. -- Kristen Stewart
People have told me, 'My dad passed on, but I have great memories of watching your shows with him.' It doesn't get any better than that. -- Bob Newhart
Think about finding out when you're 13 that your dad is not your dad. It's like, okay, take it on the chin and keep going. No choice, really. -- Orlando Bloom
My dad always had this little sign on his desk: 'The bigger your head is, the easier your shoes are to fill'. He really drilled that in. -- Phil Jackson
My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars? -- Bob Saget
You need your mom and dad to protect you. It means they love you so much. It was awesome she was backing me up and defending me. -- Gabby Douglas
In a school where everyone is famous or rich or whatever, you have a culture, 'What does your dad do?' 'What does your mom do?' -- Cynthia Nixon
Nowadays you can't even spank your kids. No, gotta give 'em a time out. My dad would take time out of his busy day... to whip our ass. -- Jeff Foxworthy
My dad told me this: You get out of it what you put into it. If you put in effort and log your time, you'll get the results. -- Tiger Woods
Dad was a writer down to his cells, and he loved metaphors. Everything was a metaphor. Your dirty laundry could be one. Unexpected encounters with dog shit, definitely. -- Deb Caletti
I have to remind my dad, 'Journalists - no matter how many cigars they smoke with you - are not your friends, so don't talk to them.' -- Cameron Diaz
The most challenging part of being a dad is self-restraint. So often your instinct is to teach and tell. I am constantly reminding myself to listen to them. -- Michael Chiklis
People say to me, "Who's your favorite kind of photographer?" Or "Who would be your favorite photographer to have in a workshop?" And I always say, "My Dad." -- Sam Abell
I'm concerned a little bit with the culture of celebrating the fundraise. My dad taught me that when you borrow money it's the worst day of your life. -- Gary Vaynerchuk
Hee hee hee! You should've seen the look on your face!" "If mom and dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles. -- Bill Watterson
Acting is one of these things that I can't really describe - it's just like, why do you love your mum and dad? You know, you just do. -- Saoirse Ronan
My mother always taught me, even my dad, just never let other people's opinions of you shape your opinion of yourself. And I never have and I never will. -- Ruben Studdard
We played in an era where you were taught to hate your opponent. But life changes. I raise my kids differently than my mom and dad raised their kids. -- Wayne Gretzky
My dad said to me growing up: 'When all is said and done, if you can count all your true friends on one hand, you're a lucky man.' -- Josh Charles
When I was growing up my mother would say, 'Your dad may have to learn about being a father because he lost his own and that would have affected him'. -- Tom Hooper
When we passed a Catholic church, I recalled, he said, "You think your dad's a good chemist? They're turning soda crackers into meat in there. Can your dad do that? -- Kurt Vonnegut
My mother told me, 'Always do your best,' and my dad says, 'It's important to be humble. That's the key. They're not there for you. You're there for them.' -- Luke Benward
Sorry to hear about your Dad." He shrugged. "He was seventy, and we always told him fast food would kill him." "Heart attack?" "He was hit by a Pizza Express truck. -- J. A. Konrath
I got to grow up in a situation where drugs were demonic. To watch your dad go through heroin withdrawal is something that would keep you from doing any of that yourself. -- Shia LaBeouf
You know you've got problems when your head is hanging over the toilet, puking up your dinner, and what you're thinking of is your dad. And how he thinks you're not pretty. -- Teresa Lo
It's a complex relationship when your dad happened to be president and you are president and then you have all the amateur psychology that goes on when people try to speculate about motivations. -- Jeb Bush
Gabrielle was insulted and didn't even bother to hide it. 'Oh, and I suppose you think your dad was alone when he free-climbed the Kyoto Banking Tower on a windy day last September. -- Ally Carter
His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And...although, she's...wait...your mom's still...your mom's still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul. -- Joe Biden
I never got into fights with kids about whose dad is bigger and who can beat up who. What am I going to say? My dad can kill your dad when he's asleep? -- Mary Brunner
People are always coming up to me and saying, 'I heard your dad's speech, and it's really great.' And they'll mention some place I didn't even know my dad was going to. -- Bill Gates
I promise you, anybody given the choice of that kind of money or having to make a phone call to tell your dad that something like that has happened, it's not worth it. -- Jennifer Lawrence
I didn't want to know that the monster that lived under your bed when you were a kid not only really is there but used to have a few beers with your dad. -- Robin McKinley
What kind of husband would I be if I bet against my own marriage?'I smiled. 'The stupid kind. Didn't you listen to your dad when he told you not to bet against me? -- Jamie McGuire
I don't want you out of my life... ever. I'm not scared of you at all. I'm pretty fucking scared of your dad, but that's a typical guy reaction to any girl's dad. -KANE -- C.M. Owens
Body hair. You know when you're swimming as a kid and you want to crawl on your dad? None of us went anywhere near him. 'My god, a beaver! Everyone out of the pool! -- Jon Stewart

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