Valentine Day quotes:

  • Valentine's Day's not for men. -- Russell Westbrook
  • Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. -- Lindsay Ellingson
  • Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday. -- Ted Kooser
  • Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January. -- Jim Gaffigan
  • Every day is Valentine's Day! I'm a hopeless romantic. -- Hector Elizondo
  • Death, jewelry, or magic; it sounded like Valentine's Day. -- Laurell K. Hamilton
  • Valentine's Day is the day all singletons like me dread -- Michelle McManus
  • Valentine's Day is like Armistice Day - you declare a truce. -- Milton Berle
  • Happy Valentine's day sir! Next year, happy anniversary na yan ha. -- Toni Gonzaga
  • I hate Valentine's day. It is a day for nothing but disappointment. -- Larisa Oleynik
  • Valentine's Day was created by the greeting card industry to get pussy. -- Anthony Jeselnik
  • I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day... Chlamydia. -- Frankie Boyle
  • Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me. -- Helen Fielding
  • On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. -- Milton Berle
  • She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash. -- Milton Berle
  • All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. -- Milton Berle
  • Here's my problem. On Valentine's Day the flowers are wilting and so am I. -- David Letterman
  • Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot. -- Milton Berle
  • Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day! -- Jay Leno
  • Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. -- David Letterman
  • Valentine's Day is definitely one of those days where it's either awesome or it's a downer. -- Judah Friedlander
  • Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine! -- Thomas Hood
  • Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. -- Milton Berle
  • Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone. -- Lewis Black
  • --
  • Valentine's Day gifts like teddy bears, chocolate and perfume are SO lame. How about be thoughtful and original? -- Christopher Michael Cillizza
  • In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that - oh, who cares? -- Amy Poehler
  • I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand? -- Jay Leno
  • My best Valentine's Day was when someone gave me a teddy bear. It was a really, really big bear! -- Dinah-Jane Hansen
  • Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts. -- Joan Rivers
  • The 30-year-old male is about as far away from Valentine's Day as you can get in the human experience. -- Topher Grace
  • I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. It gets in the way of Black History Month. Cupid didn't free any slaves. -- Damien Lemon
  • Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day. -- Jay Leno
  • The best thing about Valentine's Day is that if you don't have a lover, you badly remember to get one! -- Mehmet Murat ildan
  • It's called Valentine's Day, you moron. If you're going to date a human, Dankmar, you need to remember their holidays. -- Abbi Glines
  • Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. -- Emma McLaughlin
  • I remember being away somewhere, and I had forgotten it was Valentine's Day with a person, and that was very embarrassing. -- Bradley Cooper
  • 1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move. -- Kristen Schaal
  • Is Valentine's Day a day to make cupcakes with your children? No, Valentine's is supposed to be a day about romantic love. -- Ayelet Waldman
  • Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day. -- Dane Cook
  • As the World Champion, every day is pretty much like Valentine's Day for me - as far as hooking up with the ladies. -- Judah Friedlander
  • In Valentine's Day or in any other day, the brightest star is not Venus or Jupiter but the very love in people's heart! -- Mehmet Murat ildan
  • I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore! -- Mike Birbiglia
  • Since love is a magic, Valentine's Day is the day of magicians! Whoever loves creates a magic; whoever is loved, a magic is created! -- Mehmet Murat ildan
  • Valentine's Day itself, like most holidays in the modern era, has been heavily influenced by commercialism that focuses on the appeal of romantic fantasies. -- Aberjhani
  • I like doing something romantic with a girl on Valentine's Day, like making her dinner and keeping it simple. The more quality time, the better. -- Spencer Boldman
  • My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. -- Milton Berle
  • My ideal Valentine's Day is spending it with someone you are in love with and for that someone to make you feel loved and appreciated. -- Candice Swanepoel
  • I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. -- Milton Berle
  • Valentine, just a few words to tell you how I love you. I have loved you since the first day I saw you. Whenever that was. -- Charles M. Schulz
  • Although I believe affection and romance should be shown all year around, it's always smart to have a good plan up your sleeve for Valentine's Day. -- Marcus Samuelsson
  • Be it Valentine's Day, Father's Day or Mother's Day, I feel all days are reminders of some feelings. February 14 doesn't hold any special relevance for me. -- Randeep Hooda
  • Valentine's Day is the hardest day of the year for a woman to get out, but everybody who is anybody and single is out that night. -- Patti Stanger
  • I think they should create a holiday for friends-with-benefits relationships. Because I feel like Valentine's Day is, maybe it's a day to stay home and cry. -- Elizabeth Meriwether
  • Non-Muslims in Saudi Arabia can only celebrate Valentine's Day behind closed doors. Apparently, this has led to a huge black market for flowers and wrapping paper. -- John Niven
  • I get letters every year from women who think Valentine's Day is an empty exercise, but are ironically pretty exercised when their boyfriends neglect or forget it. -- Dan Savage
  • Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all. -- Jimmy Fallon
  • The 99 Cent Only Store is calling itself your Valentine's Day headquarters. Guys, if that's your Valentine's Day headquarters, you can also call the garage your new home. -- Jay Leno
  • Today the House has a chance to give 25 million married couples the best Valentine's Day gift possible, elimination from the most unfair of taxes, the marriage tax penalty. -- Jerry Weller
  • I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine's Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine's Day. -- Mo Rocca
  • People value Halloween, like Valentine's Day, because they can tell themselves that it's not merely secularized but actually secular, which is to say, not Christian, Jewish, Hindu or Muslim. -- Amity Shlaes
  • I wanted to do a set of love songs for Valentine's Day so I went through my old material. I found myself scraping around the edges of good taste. -- Tom Rush
  • Every year of my life, my dad has sent me a Valentine's Day gift. Whether I was in the same house or across the country, he always sent something. -- Sevyn Streeter
  • I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. My favorite romantic comedy is 'When Harry Met Sally.' -- Ginnifer Goodwin
  • The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just because it's Valentine's Day.' -- George Lopez