Valentine quotes:

Send

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day! -- Jay Leno
Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine! -- Thomas Hood
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself. -- Robert Orben
Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January. -- Jim Gaffigan
I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine. -- Ogden Nash
Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone. -- Lewis Black
Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day. -- Jay Leno
Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day. -- Dane Cook
If you don't have a valentine, hang out with your girlfriends, don't go looking for someone. When it's right, they'll come to you. -- Carmen Electra
Darling, replied Valentine, has not the count just told us that all human wisdom was contained in these two words,- "Wait and hope"? -- Alexandre Dumas
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. -- Milton Berle
Must, bid the Morn awake! Sad Winter now declines, Each bird doth choose a mate; This day's Saint Valentine's. For that good bishop's sake Get up and let us see What beauty it shall be That Fortune us assigns. -- Michael Drayton
Love is being stupid together. -- Paul Valery
Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. -- Lindsay Ellingson
Women are cursed, and men are the proof. -- Roseanne Barr
Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old. -- Stephen Colbert
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. -- Rita Rudner
A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses. -- H. L. Mencken
In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that - oh, who cares? -- Amy Poehler
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice. -- Bill Cosby
They who meet on an April night are forever lost in love, if there's moonlight all about and there's no moon above. -- Yip Harburg
Is Valentine's Day a day to make cupcakes with your children? No, Valentine's is supposed to be a day about romantic love. -- Ayelet Waldman
Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults. -- Thomas Szasz
I think they should create a holiday for friends-with-benefits relationships. Because I feel like Valentine's Day is, maybe it's a day to stay home and cry. -- Elizabeth Meriwether
Although I believe affection and romance should be shown all year around, it's always smart to have a good plan up your sleeve for Valentine's Day. -- Marcus Samuelsson
Be it Valentine's Day, Father's Day or Mother's Day, I feel all days are reminders of some feelings. February 14 doesn't hold any special relevance for me. -- Randeep Hooda
People value Halloween, like Valentine's Day, because they can tell themselves that it's not merely secularized but actually secular, which is to say, not Christian, Jewish, Hindu or Muslim. -- Amity Shlaes
I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. My favorite romantic comedy is 'When Harry Met Sally.' -- Ginnifer Goodwin
This is my saddest story: In grade school, they would have us open our Valentine's cards and read them out loud. I always sent cards to myself because nobody else did. -- William Shatner
What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense. -- Lewis Black
Oft have I heard both youths and virgins say, Birds chuse their mates and couple too this day: But by their flight I never can devine When I shall couple with my valentine. -- Robert Herrick
For me, one of the toughest things about Valentine's Day is that it gets geared up as the day to profess your love. See, T-E-S-T - that's a bad word that doesn't go with L-O-V-E. -- Matthew McConaughey
If you can believe it, Hollywood wanted to change my birthdate. I was born after Valentine's Day, so they wanted to change it to February 14. A Latin lover should be born on Valentine's Day. I said no. -- Cesar Romero
I'm bad on Valentine's Day, but even worse on Christmas. I go shopping at nine o'clock on December 24th every year. Nobody else is there. I'm in Toys'R'Us all by myself. I get there five minutes before closing. -- Jamie Foxx
People love in different ways. You may have a man who brings you flowers every Monday but doesn't give two hooty-hoots about Valentine's Day. Just because he doesn't give you a valentine doesn't mean he doesn't love you! -- Jada Pinkett Smith
How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said. -- Victor Hugo
I think diamonds represent luxury, indulgence, and class. So any time you can incorporate a gift that is synonymous with all those attributes, you know the other person will love it. I would challenge someone to find something that better represents Valentine's Day more than diamonds! -- Chris Evans
There were two main points I wanted to get across in Valentine, the first being that yes, Valentine's Day is an arbitrary day, but why would you not take that excuse to celebrate love? The second point. . .since it is just an arbitrary day. . .why not treat every day like Valentine's Day? -- Kina Grannis
Peace. That's what salaam means. Peace unto you." The words brought forth an echo from Ender's memory. His mother's voice reading to him softly, when he was very young. ... The kiss, the word, the peace were with him still. I am only what I remember, and Alai is my friend in a memory so intense that they can't tear him out. Like Valentine, the strongest memory of all. -- Orson Scott Card
Valentine's Day's not for men. -- Russell Westbrook
Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday. -- Ted Kooser
I've always had horrible Valentine's Days. -- Rebecca Hall
Hate is nothing when weighed against survival. (Valentine) -- Cassandra Clare
Dear Valentine, I love you. Whoever you are. -- Charles M. Schulz
Death, jewelry, or magic; it sounded like Valentine's Day. -- Laurell K. Hamilton
Every day is Valentine's Day! I'm a hopeless romantic. -- Hector Elizondo
You have a dark heart in you, Valentine's daughter. -- Cassandra Clare
Valentine's Day is the day all singletons like me dread -- Michelle McManus
Valentine's Day is like Armistice Day - you declare a truce. -- Milton Berle
Happy Valentine's day sir! Next year, happy anniversary na yan ha. -- Toni Gonzaga
I'll paint you moments of gold, I'll spin you Valentine evenings... -- David Bowie
To her you're Jocelyn's daughter. But I'll always be Valentine's son -- Cassandra Clare
Don't have Valentine this year, but all of you guys are mine -- Greyson Chance
I hate Valentine's day. It is a day for nothing but disappointment. -- Larisa Oleynik
Once upon a time there was a Martian named Valentine Michael Smith. -- Robert A. Heinlein
If you love yourself first, you will find your Valentine much quicker! -- Mehmet Murat ildan
Valentine's Day was created by the greeting card industry to get pussy. -- Anthony Jeselnik
I have second thoughts. Maybe God is malicious. Told to Valentine Bargmann. -- Albert Einstein
I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day... Chlamydia. -- Frankie Boyle
If my Valentine you won't be,I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. -- Ernest Hemingway
Valentine's Day purely commercial, cynical enterprise, anyway. Matter of supreme indifference to me. -- Helen Fielding
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. -- Milton Berle
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. -- Milton Berle
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash. -- Milton Berle
Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot. -- Milton Berle
Here's my problem. On Valentine's Day the flowers are wilting and so am I. -- David Letterman
Dear Valentine, I have thought of you often. Not all the time, but often. -- Charles M. Schulz
Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. -- David Letterman
I watch my heart disappearing into her rosebud mouth. My Valentine's jest somehow seems less funny. -- Neil Gaiman
I don't know who St. Valentine was, but I hope he died alone, surrounded by couples. -- Miranda Hart
Valentine's Day is definitely one of those days where it's either awesome or it's a downer. -- Judah Friedlander
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. -- Milton Berle
The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy. -- Milton Berle
Consider it a race to see who kills you first, Daylighter-Valentine, the other Downworlders, or the Clave. -- Cassandra Clare
--
Valentine's Day gifts like teddy bears, chocolate and perfume are SO lame. How about be thoughtful and original? -- Christopher Michael Cillizza
I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand? -- Jay Leno
Shirley Valentine is a beautiful character and so well written. What Shirley speaks and thinks is so logical -- Loretta Swit
My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. -- Milton Berle
The 30-year-old male is about as far away from Valentine's Day as you can get in the human experience. -- Topher Grace
My best Valentine's Day was when someone gave me a teddy bear. It was a really, really big bear! -- Dinah-Jane Hansen
I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. It gets in the way of Black History Month. Cupid didn't free any slaves. -- Damien Lemon
Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts. -- Joan Rivers
It's called Valentine's Day, you moron. If you're going to date a human, Dankmar, you need to remember their holidays. -- Abbi Glines
If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie. -- Dov Davidoff
Simon to die. Jace to live. Jonathon to retune. And you Valentine's daughter, to be the catalist of it all. -- Cassandra Clare
The best thing about Valentine's Day is that if you don't have a lover, you badly remember to get one! -- Mehmet Murat ildan
Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. -- Emma McLaughlin
With whomever you feel yourself as if you are with your very self, he or she is surely your true Valentine! -- Mehmet Murat ildan
1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move. -- Kristen Schaal
I remember being away somewhere, and I had forgotten it was Valentine's Day with a person, and that was very embarrassing. -- Bradley Cooper
Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you." -- Russell Howard
My friend, why should you wish to shorten my life by taking from me my shadow? (To photographer Dr. Valentine T. McGillycuddy.) -- Crazy Horse
Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer. -- Robert Orben
You're Valentine's son. I'm sure you're the one the Queen really wants to see. Besides, you're charming. Maybe not at the moment. -- Cassandra Clare
Valentine WeatherKiss me with rain on your eyelashes,come on, let us sway together,under the trees, and to hell with thunder. -- Edwin Morgan
--
I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore! -- Mike Birbiglia
In Valentine's Day or in any other day, the brightest star is not Venus or Jupiter but the very love in people's heart! -- Mehmet Murat ildan
As the World Champion, every day is pretty much like Valentine's Day for me - as far as hooking up with the ladies. -- Judah Friedlander
But Valentine, why despair, why always paint the future in such sombre hues?" Maximilien askedBecause, my friend, I judge it by the past." -- Alexandre Dumas
But Valentine, why despair, why always paint the future in such sombre hues?" Maximilien asked. "Because, my friend, I judge it by the past. -- Alexandre Dumas
Valentine's Day itself, like most holidays in the modern era, has been heavily influenced by commercialism that focuses on the appeal of romantic fantasies. -- Aberjhani
Since love is a magic, Valentine's Day is the day of magicians! Whoever loves creates a magic; whoever is loved, a magic is created! -- Mehmet Murat ildan
For there has never been a story nearly as tragic as the one of Frankenstein, except for that of Johnny Heart and his Francesca Valentine. -- Rae Hachton
I've often found myself looking fondly at the Valentine's cultures in other countries. South Korea, for instance - where women must give chocolate to men. -- John Niven
I have a suggestion," said Valentine to Luke, in a surprisingly even tone. "Let me guess," said Luke. "It's 'Don't kill me,' isn't it? -- Cassandra Clare
My ideal Valentine's Day is spending it with someone you are in love with and for that someone to make you feel loved and appreciated. -- Candice Swanepoel
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. -- Milton Berle
I like doing something romantic with a girl on Valentine's Day, like making her dinner and keeping it simple. The more quality time, the better. -- Spencer Boldman
Non-Muslims in Saudi Arabia can only celebrate Valentine's Day behind closed doors. Apparently, this has led to a huge black market for flowers and wrapping paper. -- John Niven
Valentine's Day is the hardest day of the year for a woman to get out, but everybody who is anybody and single is out that night. -- Patti Stanger
But Jocelyn Morgenstern was not the kind of woman who wept, not the kind of woman who broke, or Valentine would have broken her long since. -- Cassandra Clare
Valentine, just a few words to tell you how I love you. I have loved you since the first day I saw you. Whenever that was. -- Charles M. Schulz
Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all. -- Jimmy Fallon
--
The 99 Cent Only Store is calling itself your Valentine's Day headquarters. Guys, if that's your Valentine's Day headquarters, you can also call the garage your new home. -- Jay Leno
I get letters every year from women who think Valentine's Day is an empty exercise, but are ironically pretty exercised when their boyfriends neglect or forget it. -- Dan Savage
Today the House has a chance to give 25 million married couples the best Valentine's Day gift possible, elimination from the most unfair of taxes, the marriage tax penalty. -- Jerry Weller
The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable. -- Lewis Black

Send