Umpire quotes:

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If either player abandon the game by quitting the table in anger, or in an otherwise offensive manner; or by momentarily resigning the game; or refuses to abide by the decision of the Umpire, the game must be scored against him. -- Howard Staunton
Judges are like umpires. Umpires don't make the rules. They apply them. The role of an umpire and a judge is critical. They make sure everybody plays by the rules. But it is a limited role. Nobody ever went to a ballgame to see the umpire. -- John Roberts
All the arguing in the world won't change the mind of the Umpire. -- Pride of the Yankees
Umpire's heaven is a place where he works third base every game. Home is where the heartache is. -- Ron Luciano
Umpire Harold Bird, having a wonderful time, signalling everything in the world, including stopping traffic coming on from behind. -- John Arlott
It is the duty of the Umpire to determine all questions submitted to him according to these laws, when they apply, and according to his best judgment when they do not apply. -- Howard Staunton
Stay in college, kids. Otherwise, you may become an umpire. -- Andy Roddick
Peace is the umpire for doing the will of God. -- Edwin Louis Cole
I never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes. -- Leo Durocher
Stay in school kids or you'll end up being an umpire. -- Andy Roddick
I am deeply saddened and shocked at the loss of umpire Wally Bell. -- Joe Torre
An angry player can't argue with the back of an umpire who is walking away. -- Bill Klem
You argue with the umpire because there is nothing else you can do about it. -- Leo Durocher
I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands. -- Babe Ruth
Take pride in your work at all times. Remember, respect for an umpire is created off the field as well as on. -- Ford Frick
Most plays that are missed by the umpire are caused by the umpire not reading those cues early enough and making the proper adjustments. -- Jim Evans
The job of arguing with the umpire belongs to the manager, because it won't hurt the team if he gets thrown out of the game. -- Earl Weaver
Many baseball fans look upon an umpire as a sort of necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile. -- Christy Mathewson
In the olden days, the umpire didn't have to take any courses in mind reading. The pitcher told you he was going to throw at you. -- Leo Durocher
Our students learn more in 30 days than one could learn in 30 years without our training. To really maximize your potential as an umpire, you need to get a solid foundation as soon as you can. -- Jim Evans
Professional managers, coaches, and players have a right to question an umpire's decision if they do it in a professional manner. When they become personal, profane, or violent, they have crossed the line and must be dealt with accordingly. -- Jim Evans
Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball. -- James Patrick Murray
Sometimes you've just got to let an umpire know that you're not satisfied with his decision. That they've missed the play in your opinion. Not that it's going to do you any good, but you've got to let them know. -- Tommy Lasorda
There was something special about watching a manager and umpire both convinced they were totally right, but knowing that one had to be wrong. As an ump, those moments made my job fun, and getting 'nose-to-nose' was part of my job description. -- Doug Harvey
As a whole, the managers today are different in temperament. Most have very good communication skills and are more understanding of the umpire's job. That doesn't mean they are better managers. It just means that I perceive today's managers a bit differently. -- Jim Evans
As we all know, Cooperstown is the home of baseball. One of the many duties of the home plate umpire is to make sure that the runner touches home. Well, if you're a true baseball fan, you need to visit Cooperstown. This is home. -- Doug Harvey
If you're a photographer, they give you a camera. If you're a writer, they give you a typewriter. If you're an umpire, they give you an unseen object and they call it a strike zone, and nobody seems to agree with you no matter what you call. -- Doug Harvey
We often imagine that the court serves as a sort of neutral umpire controlling the warring political branches. But this is mostly myth. The justices of the Supreme Court are themselves actors in the struggle for power, and when they intervene, they think carefully about how their decisions will affect the court's own legitimacy and authority. -- Noah Feldman
My first and only experience in baseball, the coach signed me up; he didn't tell me there's a thing called the curveball. I didn't know that. So the ball's coming at me and I start backing out, and then it broke inside. And the umpire says, 'Strike one!' And I'm saying, 'How is that a strike? It almost hit me!' -- Magic Johnson
Chemistry is really about two people who like to act together, I think. It's like tennis in the most cliched way. It's like if you hit the ball, they hit the ball back, and they don't hit it into the stands, and they don't put the ball in their pocket and walk off - and they don't argue with the umpire, you know? -- David Duchovny
My favorite umpire is a dead one. -- Johnny Evers
A good umpire is the umpire you don't even notice -- Ban Johnson
Rules of society are nothing; one's conscience is the umpire. -- Marie Anne de Vichy-Chamrond, marquise du Deffand
I've never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes. -- Leo Durocher
Your job is to umpire for the ball and not the player. -- Bill Klem
The umpire signals a bye with the air of a weary stalk -- John Arlott
Being an umpire is like being a king. It prepares you for nothing. -- Ron Luciano
In case of dispute, the umpire shall throw it straight into the field. -- James Naismith
Cardinal rule for all hitters with two strikes on them: Never trust the umpire. -- Robert Smith
Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is . . . well, an umpire. -- Ron Luciano
The roughest thing I ever said to an umpire was, 'Are you sure?' -- Rod Laver
When politicians complain about the media, it strikes me as resembling footballers complaining about the umpire. -- Tony Abbott
Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire. -- Casey Stengel
Ed (Runge), you're the second best umpire in the league. The other twenty-three are tied for first. -- Carl Yastrzemski
A good umpire, like a good FBI agent, is never noticed if he is doing his job. -- Thomas Boswell
She'll be evaluated like any other Double-A umpire. Major League Baseball has never attempted to influence our decision -- Mike Fitzpatrick
I get what I desire, it's my empire And yes I call the shots, I am the umpire -- Nicki Minaj
I want to stress again one aspect of the game which is most important. Never argue with an umpire. -- Ian Botham
Anyone who votes for McGowan is 100 percent right. He was a great umpire. He belongs in the Hall of Fame. -- Al Barlick
The way we have been playing, I might tell my players not to cross the picket line (umpire strike of 1979). -- Whitey Herzog
On the whole, life is unfair in the way it works out. It is a game played without an umpire! -- Ursula Bloom
The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself. -- Goran Ivanisevic
I was a great base umpire, but I was the most mediocre plate umpire to ever come into the major leagues. -- Doug Harvey
Chaos umpire sits And by decision more embroils the fray by which he reigns: next him high arbiter Chance governs all. -- John Milton
The public wouldn't like the perfect umpire in every game. It would kill off baseball's greatest alibi - 'We was robbed.' -- Billy Evans
The best recommendation for an umpire in the old days was: "He licked somebody in the Three-I League. He ought to do. -- Ty Cobb
Whenever you have a tight situation and there's a close pitch, the umpire gets a squawk no matter how he calls it. -- Red Barber
My dad was a carpenter and I would work with him during the summer and umpire on the nights I wasn't playing. -- Jim Evans
The way I see it, an umpire must be perfect on the first day of the season and then get better every day. -- Nestor Chylak
To me, there is no more conscientious umpire in the Major Leagues than Jim Joyce. He gives you a hellacious effort every time. -- Tony La Russa
It isn't enough for an umpire to merely know what he's doing. He has to look as though he knows what he's doing, too. -- Larry Goetz
The system is in place whereby if an umpire cries off, or both as was the case here, those umpires are to be replaced. -- Mark Webber
In a way an umpire is like a woman. He makes quick decisions, never reverses them, and doesn't think you're safe when you're out. -- Larry Goetz
Being an umpire wasn't such a tough job. You really have to understand only two things and that's maintaing discipline and knowing the rule book. -- Cal Hubbard
The umpire... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order. -- Neville Cardus
I couldn't see well enough to play (baseball) when I was a boy, so they gave me a special job - they made me an umpire. -- Harry S. Truman
A good umpire is the umpire you don't even notice. He's there all afternoon but when the game is over, you don't even remember his name. -- Ban Johnson
I am the batsman and the bat, / I am the bowler and the ball, / The umpire, the pavilion cat, / The roller, pitch, and stumps, and all. -- Andrew Lang
In sport, part of the game is accepting the umpire's call, no matter how hard that might be. Sometimes the calls go your way, and sometimes they don't. -- Dot Richardson
Some fans have a mistaken opinion of the average umpire. He is human, all reports to the contrary. Every fellow who is successful is conscientious to almost a fault. -- Billy Evans
Anyone interested in becoming a professional umpire and becoming eligible to work in the minor leagues must attend one of the two umpire schools sanctioned by Major League Baseball. -- Jim Evans
Somebody has to keep score and I decided I was going to do it. I'm a born score-keeper and I realize, like an umpire, that my decisions may cause distress. -- Gore Vidal
There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.' -- Ogden Nash
No one respects the umpire's job more than I do; but, if I were a manager, I would probably be ejected three or four times a season fighting for my team. -- Jim Evans
And I will place within them as a guide My umpire conscience, whom if they will hear Light after light well used they shall attain, And to the end persisting, safe arrive. -- John Milton
Every man's reason is his own rightful umpire. This principle, with that of acquiescence in the will of the majority, will preserve us free and prosperous as long as they are sacredly observed. -- Thomas Jefferson
No one ever grew up intending to be an umpire, except perhaps my friend Bill Haller. His brother Tom wanted to be a catcher, so an affinity for masks must run in that family. -- Ron Luciano
The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal. -- Kurt Vonnegut

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