Two-Year-Old quotes:

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  • Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old. -- Erma Bombeck
  • The female attention I have to struggle hardest with is from my two-year-old daughter. -- Dan Stevens
  • My heart goes out to the grieving parents who lost their two-year-old or their newborn. -- Elizabeth Edwards
  • A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. -- Jerry Seinfeld
  • Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. -- Denis Leary
  • Sometimes, you'll watch the news and you'll see two-year-old boys in South Africa, wearing 'Spider-Man' t-shirts. It's such a global phenomenon. -- James Vanderbilt
  • If you've ever hauled a 28-pound two-year-old around New York, you'll find that men fold at the knees a lot quicker than women. -- Anthony Bourdain
  • As long as you think of your real self as the person you are, then of course you're going to be fearful of death. But what is a person? A person is a pattern of behavior, of a larger awareness. You know, the two-year-old dies before the three-year-old shows up, the three-year-old dies before the teenager shows up. -- Deepak Chopra
  • A lot of people say, 'Wow, you're a single father of twin boys, that's crazy!' Two toddlers can get hectic, but I wouldn't change it for anything. Every day they teach me different things. The love is there. When you have a two-year-old saying every other hour, 'Papi, te amo. Papi, I love you,' it can't get better. -- Ricky Martin
  • I write like a two-year-old and I can't spell -- Harry Redknapp
  • It was like being around a particularly irritating two-year-old. -- Charlaine Harris
  • A two-and-a-half-year-old is pretty experienced at making a mess, anyway. -- Bill Nye
  • At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around. -- Milton Berle
  • A 50-year-old company can innovate as well as two guys/gals in a garage. -- Guy Kawasaki
  • I'm not complicated at all. I say raps that your two-year-old son can learn. -- Snoop Dogg
  • No symphony orchestra ever played music like a two-year-old girl laughing with a puppy. -- Bernard Williams
  • In 1910, eighty-two-year-old Leo Tolstoy flees from his wife and dies in a railway station of exposure. -- Jon Winokur
  • I see the mind of the five-year-old as a volcano with two vents: destructiveness and creativeness. -- Sylvia Ashton-Warner
  • I was a twenty-two-year-old single white female alone in a strange country where my sister had been killed. -- Karen Marie Moning
  • Imagine a 15-year-old kid saying, 'I have two moms - it's cool.' I don't fear that at all. -- Henry Rollins
  • You can't live like a monk if you have two five-year-old twins. That ain't happening. Just the opposite, actually. -- Scott Ellis
  • Nothing is better than showing up twice a week, acting like a 12 year-old for two hours, and then going home. -- Reid Scott
  • I think I need a little break. I've got a two-year old. I'll be part of The Leisure Class for a while. -- Lauren Ambrose
  • We're like a two-year old playing with fire ... we're messing around with something really dangerous and don't really understand what will happen. -- William F. Laurance
  • Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it. -- Henny Youngman
  • I have a two-year-old boy. Being his mom feels like I have a present I get to spend the rest of my life opening. -- Jewel
  • I'm trying to find a man to share my life with, but it's not been easy. I'm a 35-year-old woman with two small children. -- Nicole Kidman
  • I don't remember not singing. I started when I was, I don't know how - what, two years old, or a year old or something like that. -- Glen Campbell
  • I'm 74 years old and, even though I may be a bit of a rascal, 33 girls in two months seems to me too much even for a 30-year-old. -- Silvio Berlusconi
  • I have two sons, ages 38 and 25 in Texas, and my wife and seven year old daughter here in Nashville. On New Year's I'd rather be with them. -- Delbert McClinton
  • It has taken us two million years to elevate politics from the level of a monkey squabble, to a level comprehensible to a six year old child. -- Peter J. Carroll
  • I'm like a twenty-two-year-old kid in a new band trying to get noticed and break through, because the vast majority of people have never seen me play live. -- John Fogerty
  • Take any two-year-old through a car wash and their skulls are blown. FLAPS! FOAM! ROLLING THINGS! It's the closest they'll ever get to being inside a working spaceship. -- Drew Magary
  • What I discovered in Auschwitz is the human condition, the end point of a great adventure, where the European traveler arrived after his two-thousand-year-old moral and cultural history. -- Imre Kertesz
  • Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow. -- Ellen DeGeneres
  • Asked by reporters about his upcoming marriage to a forty-two-year-old woman, director Roman Polanski told reporters, `The way I look at it, she's the equivalent of three fourteen-year-olds.' -- David Letterman
  • I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.. -- Ray Romano
  • I have a two year old. Just turned two a couple weeks ago, and he is my main man, he is my shadow. Every spare second, I am hanging with him. -- Rodney Atkins
  • I'm like a twenty two year old kid in a new band trying to get noticed and break through, because the vast majority of people have never seen me play live. -- John Fogerty
  • Her eyes narrowed, but she wasn't yelling.I think she liked me... kind of. The way a mother would like an annoying spastic two year old who belonged to someone else. -- Robyn Peterman
  • Being defiant is a two-year-old who doesn't want to go to bed when he's tired. Being resolute is standing one's ground even in the face of opposition. It's a man's virtue, not a toddler's vice. -- Minisinoo
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