Tampons quotes:

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Women get consumed. Not surprising, considering the sheer amount of traffic a woman's body experiences. Tampons and speculums. Cocks, fingers, vibrators and more, between the legs, from behind, in the mouth. -- Gillian Flynn
I was born an emotional tampon in a cauldron of dysfunction. -- Dana Gould
I hate thin people; 'Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?' -- Joan Rivers
Take your f***ing tampon out and tell me what you have to say. -- Rahm Emanuel
The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay. -- Frank Zappa
Tampon commercial, detergent commercial, maxi pad commercial, windex commercial - you'd think all women do is clean and bleed. -- Gillian Flynn
Women's clutches are too small. I open my purse, and with some hydraulic force, a tampon shoots 12 feet into the air. -- Kelly Ripa
Sex with my first boyfriend was a little bit like learning how to put in a tampon, but only half as enjoyable! -- Samantha Bee
The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse. -- Joan Rivers
I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!" -- Jimmy Carr
People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry. -- Jenny Eclair
..."I can always stuff you back in the bottle and shove a tampon in the top instead of a stopper, and all the other Djinn will point and laugh- -- Rachel Caine
I'd go back, yeah. I don't care, I got a kid, man - I'll sell tampons. I mean, there's no selling-out once you get a kid. I got a kid. -- Jay Mohr
Fame is also a test of character at times... Sometimes I pass the test; sometimes I'm a pain in the ass. Sometimes I'm like, Oh, God! I just want to buy some tampons! -- Meg Ryan
Even Solon Gregg was finding it hard to speak to a woman who had just paid hard cash for tampons and on her face wore the look of a woman who meant to use them, as advertised. -- Lewis Nordan
All we demand are the same rights as men, and slightly more stalls per restroom. And tampon machines. And those little things in the stalls so we can put our used tampons in them. And, okay, just go ahead and make the bathrooms out of tampons. -- Susan B. Anthony
I don't jerk off because I'm horny. I'm sort of half-chick. It's like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It's like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself. -- John Mayer
But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding," he said. "What happened?" Claire sighed and held up her wrist to show him the bandage. "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else." Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons? -- Rachel Caine
He reached up t0 grab one and came down with several, and they kept coming, washing over him, floating all around him. Never have tampon strings seemed so beautiful as they rolled up and down with the wind, landing on the ground and then twirling and floating up again, falling and rising and falling and rising. -- John Green
Colin did not laugh. Instead he thought, Tampons have strings? Why? Of all the major human mysteries - God, the nature of the universe, etc. - he knew the least about tampons. To Colin, tampons were a little bit like grizzly bears: he was aware of their existence, but he'd never seen on in the wild, and didn't really care to. -- John Green
Tampons. I'm constantly worrying about my stash and if I'll be able to find more. -- Rick Yancey
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She just asked me to pick her up some tampons and a Yoo-Hoo. ~Alex Sinclair -- Jenny B. Jones

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