Palin quotes:

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  • I like that lady - Sarah Palin. She's great. I like the cut of her jib. -- Paul Johnson
  • Lady Liberty and Sarah Palin are lit by the same torch. -- Michele Bachmann
  • I hired Sarah Palin because she was hot and got ratings. -- Roger Ailes
  • Sarah Palin has been tagged and released back into the wild. -- Jon Stewart
  • I have students whose fathers are voting for Sarah Palin. It's wild. -- Anne Waldman
  • Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part. -- Andy Borowitz
  • Sarah Palin knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America. -- John McCain
  • Sarah Palin finally heard what happened in Japan and she's demanding that we invade 'Tsunami.' -- Bill Maher
  • They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip. -- David Letterman
  • There is great variation in brain power all the way from Einstien on one hand to Sarah Palin on the other. -- Richard Dawkins
  • Folks, Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from Alaska. Mitt Romney talks like he's only seen Russia by watching 'Rocky IV.' -- John F. Kerry
  • John McCains choice of Sarah Palin as running mate is the towering example of his poor judgment. Palins ignorance of public affairs is monumental. -- Edgar Bronfman, Sr.
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  • Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin. -- Bill Maher
  • Conservatives like Palin and Reagan and others do seem to love the series, but so do people of all political stripes and backgrounds. I speak about the series' "radiant simplicity." -- Judith Thurman
  • Sarah Palin is an empty vessel ready to be filled by ideology that she doesn't even understand, and that is really scary. Nothing is more frightening than an empty vessel in power. -- Chris Matthews
  • What people don't understand about Sarah Palin is that she is a rancher's wife. From Alberta down to Texas I've known women like that: good common sense, bright and vilified by city people. -- Robert Duvall
  • Sarah Palin is very pro-life of course, unless the life is that of an Iraqi civilian or a wolf running frantically from a roaring helicopter while being strafed with ribbons of automatic weapons fire. -- Seth MacFarlane
  • We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal. -- Bill Maher
  • Sarah Palin has admitted she tried marijuana several years ago, but she did not like it. She said it distorted her perceptions, impaired her thinking, and she's hoping that the effects will eventually wear off. -- Jay Leno
  • Sarah Palin's a quitter. -- Jesse Ventura
  • Sarah Palin is a compelling political figure. -- Michele Bachmann
  • I think Sarah Palin is amazing. I totally admire her. -- Nadine Dorries
  • Tina Fey could run this country before Sarah Palin could! -- Nikki Reed
  • Sarah Palin met the wombshifter! Old Sarah and the wombshifter. -- Mike Tyson
  • I got all the Sarah Palin I need for one lifetime. -- Meghan McCain
  • Sarah Palin's real quality is that she is her own best creation. -- Julianne Moore
  • Governor Palin leans far closer to 'spokesperson' than representative of the people. -- Adam McKay
  • It is hard to know what Sarah Palin means in Republican politics anymore. -- Rachel Maddow
  • Anything may be possible in America, but a Palin presidency is virtually implausible. -- Ron Fournier
  • [Sarah] Palin is solidifying her status as a bona fide American cultural heroine. -- Camille Paglia
  • (Sarah Palin's) greatest hypocrisy is in her pretense that she is a woman. -- Wendy Doniger
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  • Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school. -- Bill Maher
  • Sarah Palin is joining Fox News. The new slogan is 'hair and unbalanced.' -- David Letterman
  • I'd vote for Mickey Mouse before I voted for John McCain and Sarah Palin. -- Edgar Bronfman, Sr.
  • Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar. -- David Letterman
  • I was very inspired by the videos of the crowds at the Palin rallies. -- Jill Sobule
  • Asked who attacked America on 9/11, [Sarah Palin] suggested several times that it was Saddam Hussein. -- John Heilemann
  • I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma. -- Bill Maher
  • Palin seems to have forgotten that her poll ratings have plummeted since the summer of 2011. -- Ron Fournier
  • Palin is smart, politically skilled, courageous and likable. Her convention and debate performances were impressive. -- David Brooks
  • You know, I just want to say to her (Sarah Palin), just very quickly...F-- you. -- Jon Stewart
  • Any party that would put Sarah Palin up on a pedestal will never have my support. -- Jesse Ventura
  • I do have to give it up for Sarah Palin on one account. She is brave. -- Adam McKay
  • Sarah Palin is Latina. Pay-leen. She has an infant and a grandkid the same age. Latina! -- George Lopez
  • In choosing Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate, John McCain has chosen for the future. -- Rudy Giuliani
  • Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life. -- John Oliver
  • This week Sarah Palin's memoir became a bestseller. It's not even out yet. It's being translated into English. -- Bill Maher
  • I was not going to attack Palin just for being a woman appealing for support from other women. -- Hillary Clinton
  • Donald Trump said it was his idea for [Sarah] Palin to bring up her son at the rally. -- Chris Hayes
  • As much as I disagree with Sarah Palin, there's no denying that she was the victim of sexism. -- Jessica Valenti
  • As a loyal American and I think a patriotic American, no, I don't want Sarah Palin to be president. -- Bill Maher
  • I have the greatest appreciation for Governor [Sarah] Palin and her family. There`s great joy to know them. -- John McCain
  • John McCain famously has been incredibly loyal to Sarah Palin ever since he picked her as his running mate. -- Rachel Maddow
  • Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids. -- Bill Maher
  • Sarah Palin made her debut as a Fox News analyst. They finally found a job that she's not under-qualified for. -- David Letterman
  • Sarah Palin's book is big, 400 pages. She wrote the book herself and agonized over every word, and so will you. -- David Letterman
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  • I saw that with Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin in 2008. I mean, I came away from the 2008 campaign feeling really icky. -- Kellyanne Conway
  • Sarah Palin's whole family got into a drunken public fistfight. Something police are calling a 'tragic case of trash-on-trash violence.' -- Bill Maher
  • The backlash to [Sarah] Palin`s comments was swift, with veterans and veterans` groups criticizing the apparent politicization of post-traumatic stress disorder. -- Chris Hayes
  • The broader question if Sarah Palin becomes vice president, will she be shortchanging her kids or will she be shortchanging the country? -- Amy Robach
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  • Consider Palin for President? The most powerful job on earth? You don't give the dumb cheerleader the Uzi. That's in the Bible. -- Christopher Titus
  • I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin. -- Libba Bray
  • I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California. -- Paula Poundstone
  • If I had it to do over, I'd vote for Obama without hesitation. I'm very thankful that McCain and Palin aren't in office. -- Charles Foster Johnson
  • What about Sarah Palin. Donald Trump had suggested she would be in his cabinet if he won. Is she going to be in? -- Megyn Kelly
  • Sarah Palin is now the guy who hangs out in the high school parking lot, showing off his car, five years after he graduated. -- Rachel Maddow
  • If I were Sarah Palin, would I want to sit in an interview with someone who was secretly out to get me? Probably not. -- Megyn Kelly
  • John McCain's choice of Sarah Palin as running mate is the towering example of his poor judgment. Palin's ignorance of public affairs is monumental. -- Edgar Bronfman, Sr.
  • I think that Sarah Palin really missed the chance to educate the public on what some of the challenges her son is actually facing. -- Jon Soltz
  • Well I think that, if you want to look at polarizing people right now, I wouldn't look at Palin, I'd look at Barack Obama. -- Laura Ingraham
  • Her [Sarah Palin] son went to Iraq under George W. Bush, but it gives us a chance to explain what post-traumatic stress disorder is. -- Jon Soltz
  • I need to know if she [Sarah Palin] thinks dinosaurs were here four thousand years ago... because she's going to have the nuclear code. -- Matt Damon
  • If there is such a thing as karma, let's hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane. -- Bill Maher
  • Sarah Palin embarrasses herself almost immediately upon opening her mouth to speak or upon moving her fingers to send messages to her dull flock. -- Henry Rollins
  • I actually prepared Vice President Biden for his debate in the last election. I played Sarah Palin. It's a little tough debating a woman. -- Jennifer Granholm
  • In fact Sarah Palin has created more jobs than Obama has. She created eleven jobs fact-checking at the AP just for the Palin autobiography. -- Ann Coulter
  • Of course, Republicans still can't believe that Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. But then Democrats can't believe that Sarah Palin wrote a book. -- Jay Leno
  • Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one? -- John Cleese
  • Wacko Glenn Beck is a sad answer to the Sarah Palin endorsement that [Ted] Cruz so desperately wanted. Glenn is a failing, crying, lost soul. -- Donald Trump
  • I think if we really break it down and talk about post-traumatic stress disorder, it`s very different than the way Sarah Palin explained it. -- Jon Soltz
  • Sen. McCain and Gov. Palin are sowing the seeds of hatred and division, and there is no need for this hostility in our political discourse. -- John Lewis
  • The [Sarah ]Palin endorsement as sort of vouching for Donald Trump is all about. She is the sort of tribune of not conservatism as ideology. -- Chris Hayes
  • I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person. -- Lewis Black
  • John McCain said that Sarah Palin is still a force in the Republican Party. Then he got in his car and backed over his mailbox. -- David Letterman
  • I don't usually admire Sarah Palin, but when she was making fun of this 'hopey changey stuff,' she was right: there was nothing there. -- Noam Chomsky
  • They determined who got the first question by a coin toss, to which Sarah Palin said, 'Oh, what a coincidence, that's how I got picked.' -- Jay Leno
  • I did a couple of sketch shows with Mike Palin and Terry Jones... and then I got hired by Granada to do a weekly topical show. -- Diana Quick
  • Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one? -- Robin Williams
  • Let's not forget, Sarah Palin may not have a golden touch, but, she gave Christine O'Donnell candidate a big touch that got her over the top. -- Chris Matthews
  • Sarah Palin is an attractive candidate, but based on her background, she only was governor for what, two years. I don`t think she passed that test. -- Dick Cheney
  • Americans have gotten to know Sarah Palin. They know that she's a role model to women and other - and reformers all over America. She's a reformer. -- John McCain
  • The United States ranks 14th in the world in education. Even if we subtract Sarah Palin's test scores, it only bumps us to third. Damn you, Finland! -- Christopher Titus
  • I worked for Sarah Palin. I have the political staffer version of P.T.S.D., so whenever I hear that she's breaking her silence, my heart stops. -- Nicolle Wallace
  • A "New York Times"/CBS poll found 59 percent of the country didn`t think Sarah Palin was prepare for the job that John McCain had picked her for. -- Rachel Maddow
  • It is sometimes hard to know what Sarah Palin means, just on a day to day basis. Sometimes it is hard to follow what she is talking about. -- Rachel Maddow
  • Final installment of Things More Fun Than Reading the Sarah Palin Memoir: Driving into a tree, microwaving your head, and getting stabbed in the eye with a carrot. -- David Letterman
  • I want you [Sarah Palin] to know you have my support. But please look into protection for your family. An attempt on you could bring the republic down. -- Glenn Beck
  • I certainly wish Gov. Palin no harm. I'd just like her to explain to me how she can hold such outrageous views...and then go back to Alaska. -- Sandra Bernhard
  • I respect Sarah Palin. I appreciate her and her husband enormously. I think she will continue to play a major role in the future of the Republican Party. -- John McCain
  • At one point, Sarah Palin sent her husband instructions to stock up on 'fresh fruit and veggies' for the kids, and 'as little processed foods as possible.' -- Bill Dedman
  • Democrats are calling Christine O'Donnell 'the Sarah Palin of the East.' Really? She's a loud, emotionally unstable woman from Delaware. That's not Sarah Palin, that's Joe Biden. -- Craig Ferguson
  • During the debate, Palin winked, wrinkled her nose, and gave a shout-out to a third-grade class. Well, you know, that says commander-in-chief to me right there. You betcha! -- David Letterman
  • With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin. You know why? ... The costume costs $150,000. -- Jay Leno
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  • Why is it our business whether Sarah Palin returned to her job as governor three days after her son was born, or three months? Is there a right answer? -- Susan Estrich
  • Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News, and she only left five months ago. She has now effectively quit quitting. She can't even commit to being uncommitted. -- John Oliver
  • Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what's ruining this country.' -- Bill Maher
  • It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year. -- Craig Ferguson
  • I was shocked [of Sarah Palin ], because beating up, you know, your girlfriend, your spouse, or acts of violence aren`t one of the core symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. -- Jon Soltz
  • Sarah Palin uses me as a laugh line in her stump speeches. If you're willing to turn me into a joke, you should also be willing to talk to me. -- Rachel Maddow
  • My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes. -- Andrea Fay Friedman
  • I have criticisms of Ronald Reagan, but he lives in another universe from the kind of political theater that is represented by people, like Sarah Palin, who aren't really public servants. -- Eugene Jarecki
  • In her new book, Sarah Palin says she once gave up chocolate for an entire year just to prove she could do it. Still think she's not qualified to be President? -- Jimmy Fallon
  • For some reason, the Secret Service revealed this, that Sarah Palin's Secret Service code name is 'Denali.' Turns out 'Denali' is an old Eskimo name that means 'Dan Quayle.' -- Jay Leno
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  • It isn't fate but fecklessness that has shoved Sarah Palin to the sidelines of national politics. The real tragedy is that she's taken a lot of other serious Republican women with her. -- Dee Dee Myers
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