Old Lady quotes:

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  • Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. -- Mark Twain
  • A beautiful lady is an accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of art. -- Louis Nizer
  • What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it. -- Brigitte Bardot
  • If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs. -- Tina Fey
  • I've been giving back since I was a teen, handing out turkeys at Thanksgiving and handing out toys at toys drives for Christmas. It's very important to give back as a youth. It's as simple as helping an old lady across the street or giving up your seat on the bus for someone who is pregnant. -- Queen Latifah
  • History, that excitable and unreliable old lady. -- Guy de Maupassant
  • Henry James was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met. -- William Faulkner
  • I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me. -- Roddy Piper
  • They're still in good shape, but I'm not flashing them anymore. I'm an old lady. I leave all the flesh to the kids. -- Tina Turner
  • Appreciating old wine is like making love to a very old lady. It is possible. It can even be enjoyable. But it requires a bit of imagination. -- Andre Tchelistcheff
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  • I open the door for old ladies, I help old ladies across the road. I do a show for leukemia every year, but I don't broadcast that because it's against my image. -- Ozzy Osbourne
  • The writer's only responsibility is to his art...If a writer has to rob his mother, he will not hesitate; the 'Ode on a Grecian Urn' is worth any number of old ladies. -- William Faulkner
  • I don't want to be a rock star all my life. I couldn't bear to end up like Elvis Presley in Las Vegas with all those housewives and old ladies coming in with their handbags -- Mick Jagger
  • Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny. -- Jack Handey
  • Bad writing is more than a matter of (expletive deleted) syntax and faulty observation; bad writing usually arises from a stubborn refusal to tell stories about what people actually do to face the fact, let us say, that murderers sometimes help old ladies cross the street. -- Stephen King
  • I know in the Christian church the old ladies use to say "what the devil meant for bad God meant for good." So some of the things that I think they went out and tried to be detrimental to my life saved me in a lot of ways. -- Kwame Kilpatrick
  • If I go up to Harlem or down to Sixth Street, and I'm not dressed up or I'm not wearing my jewelry, then the people feel I'm talking down to them. People expect to see Mrs. Astor, not some dowdy old lady, and I don't intend to disappoint. -- Brooke Astor
  • Every year white people add 100 years to how long ago slavery was. I've heard educated white people say, 'slavery was 400 years ago.' No it very wasn't. It was 140 years ago...that's two 70-year-old ladies living and dying back to back. That's how recently you could buy a guy. -- Louis C. K.
  • I am not Christ or a philanthropist, old lady, I am all the contrary of a Christ I fight for the things I believe in, with all the weapons at my disposal and try to leave the other man dead so that I don't get nailed to a cross or any other place. -- Che Guevara
  • Before I go," he said, and paused -- "I may kiss her?" It was remembered afterwards that when he bent down and touched her face with his lips, he murmured some words. The child, who was nearest to him, told them afterwards, and told her grandchildren when she was a handsome old lady, that she heard him say, "A life you love. -- Charles Dickens
  • Three quarters of the American population literally believe in religious miracles. The numbers who believe in the devil, in resurrection, in God doing this and that - it's astonishing. These numbers aren't duplicated anywhere else in the industrial world. You'd have to maybe go to mosques in Iran or do a poll among old ladies in Sicily to get numbers like this. Yet this is the American population. -- Noam Chomsky
  • I don't want to die an old lady. -- Edith Piaf
  • I won't quit to become someone's old lady. -- Janis Joplin
  • The line between angry young woman and grumpy old lady is very fine. -- Judy Horacek
  • I want to work endlessly and tirelessly until I'm an old, old lady. -- Ginnifer Goodwin
  • I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color. -- Amy Sedaris
  • That's my opportunity to hide behind that old lady and say what I want to say. -- Vicki Lawrence
  • I honestly kind of hate shopping. My favorite places to shop are rich old lady consignment stores. -- Lykke Li
  • I realize that I'm a mature woman and one of these days, incredible diet or not, I'll be a little old lady. -- Victoria Moran
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  • Our lady the Common Law is a very wise old lady though she still has something to learn in telling what she knows. -- Frederick Pollock
  • I still have my eyes on the prize: I want to be that old lady onstage shaking her hips and singing her greatest hits. -- Christina Aguilera
  • I don't want to be left in the past. When I stand next to Kylie, Beyonce or Rihanna, I don't want to be a decrepit old lady. -- Lulu
  • Somebody said I sound like an old lady, and I was really insulted by that. I'm trying to sound like Skip James and Smokey Robinson and Marvin Gaye. -- Tom Waits
  • When I'm an old lady, I'm going to have my pick of the young men. They'll be like, 'She's Miss Mary Jane!' The young boys will think I'm a hot old lady. -- Kirsten Dunst
  • I've never really been serious about my villainy. I don't have a master plan. I suppose my philosophy is: Every villain has a mother. For every cold-blooded killer on your screen, there's a little old lady somewhere who calls him 'sonny.' -- Anthony Zerbe
  • Sometimes in my class I have people come in and do monologues inspired by people they know and I always find that to be useful to do specifics about somebody and then you're actually doing a character and not doing some random old lady or something. -- Amy Poehler
  • Everyone has a crazy old lady in their family like 'Mama.' No one ever comes up to me and says 'Mama' is just like them, so no one is ever offended by her. Even young people like to laugh at her. I think she helps kids appreciate their own grandmothers more. -- Vicki Lawrence
  • Women are usually only interesting to studio executives when they are fecund, between the ages of 15 and 30. I decided to get through the really tough patch, around 50, by just cutting my price and playing ten years older. I didn't want to have to wait until I was an old lady to play one. -- Tyne Daly
  • It sounds kind of farfetched, yet I can't tell you how many people have had this syndrome... the 'Old Hag Syndrome.' Apparently, there's this little old lady who comes into your room at night, sits on your chest and tries to suffocate you. You can Google her - she'll pop up. She's out there. -- George Noory
  • Someone once said that to make a regular person laugh, you need to dress a guy up like an old lady and push him down the stairs. To make a comedy writer laugh, you have to push a real old lady down the stairs. I don't know who that's attributed to. I think it's Aristophanes. Or Catherine the Great. -- Tina Fey
  • When I was 7, an old lady was driving too fast in my neighborhood and hit me with her car. I was running out of the house, and when I got halfway into the street, my mom saw the car and yelled for me to run back. As I turned around the car hit me, dragged me five houses down the road, and I fractured my collarbone. -- Rutina Wesley
  • I'm not a crazy old cat lady! -- Melanie Laurent
  • I don't want to be a fusty old lady writer. -- Ruth Rendell
  • I feel like an old lady; my hero is Miss Marple. -- Helen Oyeyemi
  • Lady of the Mere, Sole-sitting by the shores of old romance. -- William Wordsworth
  • The old harlot, German philosophy, has finally turned into a church lady. -- Franz Grillparzer
  • Little old lady got mutilated late last night, werewolves of London, again. -- Warren Zevon
  • I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions. -- Noel Fielding
  • Remember that the old lady who's taking forever in line is someone's grandma -- Eric Stonestreet
  • The term 'lady' has been so misused, that I like better the old-fashioned term, woman. -- Fanny Fern
  • I like to wear clothes that I will wear when I am an old lady. -- Florence Welch
  • The lady was old, the lady was ill. It didn't matter what the lady believed. -- Zadie Smith
  • The batsman's technique was like an old lady poking her umbrella at a wasp's nest. -- John Arlott
  • You aren't old enough to have such regrets." "Pain doesn't respect age, my lady. -- Sherrilyn Kenyon
  • It felt like strappy sandals were looking really old lady-ish; really dated and not cool. -- Tamara Mellon
  • There's an old saying. Never send a boy to do a man's job, send a lady. -- John F. Kennedy
  • There's no rage like old lady rage, just as there's no tenderness like old lady tenderness. -- Tina Howe
  • The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down. -- Frank Zappa
  • I am not Christ or a philanthropist, old lady, I am all the contrary of a Christ... -- Che Guevara
  • Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I'm on a horse. -- Isaiah Mustafa
  • A little old lady sitting at the front of the bus can do nothing to change civil rights. -- Chuck Palahniuk
  • My old man is drunker than a barrel full of monkeys, but my old lady she don't care. -- Elton John
  • I should think that being my old lady would be all the satisfaction or career any woman needs -- Mick Jagger
  • Lady Gaga has a lot of energy, and that is fantastic, but she is using old surrealist images. -- Alejandro Jodorowsky
  • I should think that being my old lady would be all the satisfaction or career any woman needs. -- Mick Jagger
  • There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out! -- Andrew Dice Clay
  • If you want to be a dear old lady at seventy you have to begin early, say about seventeen. -- Maude Royden
  • Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him? - Lady Macbeth -- William Shakespeare
  • ... you're not supposed to cuss when you're an old lady, and just when there's so much more to cuss about ... -- Peg Bracken
  • I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady. -- Lenny Bruce
  • I've shut myself inside these walls, and I'm going to be a very lonely old lady if I'm not careful. -- Danielle Steel
  • But, dear God, don't listen to me. I'm an old lady in the middle of nowhere without a real toilet. -- Deb Caletti
  • There's nothing wrong with being single and not getting married and being, you know, just an old single lady. Who cares? -- Joan Jett
  • I've always said that next to Imperial China, the South is the best place in the world to be an old lady. -- Florence King
  • I think I'm the only 65-year-old actress in Los Angeles who hasn't had plastic surgery, so somebody's gotta play the old-lady parts! -- Jane Elliott
  • On the freeway of life, Lisa Watson was stuck at the entrance ramp, trapped behind a cautious old lady in a Buick." -- Judy Nichols
  • I would that I were an old beggar Rolling a blind pearl eye, For he cannot see my lady Go gallivanting by. -- William Butler Yeats
  • Chanel No. 5 is my perfume when I'm feeling like a lady. It's old-school and warm - and it reminds me of my mom. -- Phoebe Tonkin
  • Nature is an old lady with few friends these days, and those who wish to make use of her charms, she rewards passionately. -- Tim Krabbe
  • The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad. -- Dana Gould
  • My daughter is almost a young lady. She's going to be 10 years old in December and I want to be there day-in and day-out. -- Gloria Estefan
  • "Then what can you want to do now?" said the old lady,gaining courage. "I wants to make your flesh creep," replied the boy. -- Charles Dickens
  • I will become an old, wrinkly lady one day and what will matter are my friends and my family and people who love me. -- Sara Paxton
  • The grand old lady of bluegrass? Well, wouldn't that be a wonderful title to have? I hope I do enough to earn it some day -- Alison Krauss
  • The grand old lady of bluegrass? Well, wouldn't that be a wonderful title to have? I hope I do enough to earn it some day. -- Alison Krauss
  • It was an old, old, old, old lady, And a boy who was half-past three; And the way they played together Was beautiful to see. -- Henry Cuyler Bunner
  • She's useful to me, I'm useful to her. As long as that continues, Rowan Street is safe from an old-lady smack down of epic proportions. -- Kelley Armstrong
  • You think of 'Outlaw Josey Wales,' you immediately think of the old Indian guy, Sondra Locke, the old lady with the glasses, beautiful old actress. -- Ben Mendelsohn
  • When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. -- Steven Wright
  • My dear young lady, crime, like death, is not confined to the old and withered alone. The youngest and fairest are too often its chosen victims. -- Charles Dickens
  • It was an old fashioned house --the sort of house in fact, as Strange expressed it, which a lady in a novel might like to be persecuted in. -- Susanna Clarke
  • You know, I'm trying to sometimes sit down and write some stories about my childhood and maybe one when I'm an old lady put them out like a book. -- Shelby Lynne
  • My mountain is dead. As soon as she has dried, I'll bury her under a decent layer of white paint. But I haven't done with the old lady; far from it! -- Emily Carr
  • That's my dream to be old enough and mature enough that I won't be considered an "old lady" if I have a house with a barn. Because I already do needlepoint. -- Emmy Rossum
  • She's an old lady and she's ill. You just hold your head high and be a gentleman. Whatever she says to you, it's your job not to let her make you mad. -- Harper Lee
  • My daughter was asked by a little old lady in a London hotel restaurant what her daddy did. She answered, "He's a pirate" - I was very proud of that answer. -- Johnny Depp
  • She's an old lady," Barron says. "And she's been locked up for years. Let her have some fun. She needs to blow off steam. Seduce old dudes. Lose money at canasta. -- Holly Black
  • The old lady who said there must be a devil, else how could they make pictures that looked exactly like him, reasoned like a trained theologian - like a doctor of divinity. -- Robert Green Ingersoll
  • You might see a female, and she triggers something, or you see an old lady walking down the street, she triggers something. You go to Africa, you see the vibes, that triggers something. -- Wyclef Jean
  • What a dignity it gives an old lady, that balance at the bankers! How tenderly we look at her faults if she is a relative; what a kind, good-natured old creature we find her! -- William Makepeace Thackeray
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  • Riposte of "that old lady in the anecdote who was accused by her nieces of being illogical," Logic! Good gracious! What rubbish! How can I tell what I think till I see what I say? -- E. M. Forster
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