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I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette. -- Rodney Dangerfield
I have dined with kings, I've been offered wings. And I've never been too impressed. -- Bob Dylan
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. -- Henny Youngman
It's nice to finally get scripts offered to me that aren't the ones Tom Hanks wipes his butt with. -- Jim Carrey
Whenever I'm offered something, I always read the script and meet the director. I still appreciate just being considered. -- Steve Carell
I have consciously not taken the role of a gangster, which has been offered to me far too many times. -- Stanley Tucci
This has always been a man's world, and none of the reasons that have been offered in explanation have seemed adequate. -- Simone de Beauvoir
Lost - yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever. -- Horace Mann
I always get offered the pretty, popular girl roles, but I want to do something dark, really challenge myself and get out of my comfort level. -- Ashley Benson
A close family member once offered his opinion that I exhibit the phone manners of a goat, then promptly withdrew the charge - out of fairness to goats. -- Jeffrey Kluger
Time, which wears down and diminishes all things, augments and increases good deeds, because a good turn liberally offered to a reasonable man grows continually through noble thought and memory. -- Francois Rabelais
A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act. -- Mahatma Gandhi
Christians were instructed to serve others, and the thanksgiving was for the grace of God and the fact that God offered a way for man to return to a positive relationship with Him. -- John Clayton
There are more effective ways of tackling environmental problems including global warming, proliferation of plastics, urban sprawl, and the loss of biodiversity than by treaties, top-down regulations, and other approaches offered by big governments and their dependents. -- Preston Manning
I am one of those people who is not very patient in the makeup chair. I have been offered movies like 'Planet of the Apes' and stuff like 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas' and I turned them down. -- John C. Reilly
Sunrise offered a very beautiful spectacle; the water was quite unruffled, but the motion communicated by the tides was so great that, although there was not a breath of air stirring, the sea heaved slowly with a grand and majestic motion. -- George Grey
I had been offered fellowships to enter as a graduate student at either Harvard or Princeton. But the Princeton fellowship was somewhat more generous, since I had not actually won the Putnam competition... Thus Princeton became the choice for my graduate study location. -- John Forbes Nash, Jr.
It's good to have a lot of once-in-a-lifetimes in your lifetime. If you get the chance to skydive, go skydiving. If you're offered a part in a weird Shakespeare play in San Diego, slap on some tights and rock out some iambic pentameter. -- Neil Patrick Harris
Women have a certain sexuality, and I think their bodies are beautiful, and I'm not embarrassed to explore that in a film. But there are things you get offered that are vulgar and violent - just like there's a side of me that's vulgar and violent. -- Angelina Jolie
Gentle reader, the Fountain of Youth is radioactive, and those who imbibe its poisonous heavy waters will suffer the hideous fate of decaying metal. Yet almost without exception, the wretched idiot inhabitants of our benighted planet would gulp down this radioactive excrement if it were offered. -- William S. Burroughs
The door might not be opened to a woman again for a long, long time, and I had a kind of duty to other women to walk in and sit down on the chair that was offered, and so establish the right of others long hence and far distant in geography to sit in the high seats. -- Frances Perkins
I lost my faith in God when I lost my daughter to Cancer, the beast. I begged, I cried, I offered my life for hers, and day by day, I watched that beautiful little Angel slip off. So, excuse me for not taking my seat next to you on Sunday in Church, I feel too cheated to worship. -- Vince Neil
In the beginning, I would find a character I understood. That was my focus. Not now - but you basically get offered the exact same thing you just did. Which I find hilarious. I did 'The Vow,' and then I had every love story you can imagine thrown at me. And now I'm getting offers for comedies. -- Channing Tatum
The decision to write full-time meant I couldn't afford to buy a house. A friend kindly offered me the use of his apartment in a thirty-six-story building full of newlywed couples in the southern area of Jakarta. I didn't like my working space at first, but the scenery and everything going on outside have worked their magic on me. -- Andrea Hirata
The real power of the Buddha was that he had so much love. He saw people trapped in their notions of small separate self, feeling guilty or proud of that self, and he offered revolutionary teachings that resounded like a lion's roar, like a great rising tide, helping people to wake up and break free from the prison of ignorance. -- Nhat Hanh
Music was the one thing I could control. It was the one world that offered me freedom. When I played music, my nightmares ended. My family problems disappeared. I didn't have to search for answers. The answers lay no further than the bell of my trumpet and my scrawled, pencilled scores. Music made me full, strong, popular, self-reliant and cool. -- Quincy Jones
I get offered work these days. -- Sidney Poitier
I haven't only been offered Hasidic roles. -- Rachel Weisz
Isolation offered its own form of companionship -- Jhumpa Lahiri
We don't get offered crises, they arrive. -- Elizabeth Janeway
I took whatever the devil offered me. -- Robin Thicke
Never take what's offered, always ask for more. -- Jennifer Donnelly
I mean, I was first offered Princess Astra. -- Lalla Ward
President Johnson offered the middle of the road. -- Lew Wasserman
Never. Never ask for what ought to be offered. -- Daniel Woodrell
Least he's committed," I offered. "Or needs to be. -- Darynda Jones
Virginity is something that can be offered to God. -- Elisabeth Elliot
The baseball held was my fantasy of what life offered. -- Lou Brock
When a great adventure is offered, you don't refuse it. -- Amelia Earhart
Take what is offered and that must sometimes be enough. -- Richard K. Morgan
There can be no nonviolence offered by the militarily strong. -- Mahatma Gandhi
You can never lose what you have offered to Christ. -- Elisabeth Elliot
Actors donâ??t retire. They just get offered fewer roles. -- David Niven
I offered to pee on him, but they said no -- James Patterson
I was offered $100,000 for a print. Then I woke up. -- Bill Jay
Leisure is the most challenging responsibility a man can be offered. -- William Russell
Until I know this sure uncertainty, I'll entertain the offered fallacy. -- William Shakespeare
The Bagshaw's blew up an armored truck one,' Gabrielle offered. -- Ally Carter
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A flower, when offered in the bud, is no vain sacrifice. -- Isaac Watts
But who ever yet was offered a secret and declined it? -- Anthony Trollope
Wise is he who enjoys the show offered by the world. -- Fernando Pessoa
[T]he habit of scientific analysis ... exhausts the material offered to it... -- Henri Frederic Amiel
A kindness spontaneously offered to him who needs it, is doubly gratifying. -- Publilius Syrus
No race of barbarians ever existed yet offered up children for money. -- Samuel Gompers
No race of barbarians ever existed yet offered up children for money -- Samuel Gompers
The 'boy next door' parts I get offered, I don't find interesting. -- Douglas Booth
Jobs should be offered on the basis of merit and not 'Seefarish'. -- Narendra Modi
How can the Jews be blamed for rejecting what was never offered? -- John Hagee
The best humor is offered up by the stupidity of your opponents. -- Barney Frank
Every authentic work of art is a gift offered to the future. -- Albert Camus
The first money I have been offered was as District Officer Ba. -- Kamisese Mara
Everytime I get offered theatre I get offered a film role too. -- Melissa George
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls. -- Bob Hope
I have no desire to play most of the roles being offered -- Kathleen Turner
Pity is the deadliest feeling that can be offered to a woman. -- Vicki Baum
I have been offered a lot for my work, but never everything. -- Yul Brynner
I have no desire to play most of the roles being offered. -- Kathleen Turner
I feel like a little boy who is constantly offered new toys. -- Placido Domingo
Romance is the sweetening of the soulWith fragrance offered by the stricken heart. -- Wole Soyinka
Charity is false, futile, and poisonous when offered as a substitute for justice. -- Henry George
With great respect and love, NOW the blessings of Yoga instruction are offered. -- Patanjali
The movies and the parts I'm being offered are becoming better and better. -- Vanessa Paradis
Would you believe, I am still offered scripts and projects all the time? -- Doris Day
Prayers are offered up daily - without charge... Refreshments are served when demanded. -- Henry Miller
I may not always be offered work, but I'll always have my family. -- Audrey Hepburn
Worship offered with stale flowers and an unclean mind is of no value. -- Shri Radhe Maa
Every day we are offered new means for learning and growing in love. -- Leo Buscaglia
When you're brown and Indian, you get offered a lot of doctor roles. -- Aasif Mandvi
Many women long for what eludes them, and like not what is offered them. -- Ovid
Being shown a gesture of love is like being offered a portion of God. -- Deepak Chopra
Happiness is never there to stay [...] Happiness is merely a respite offered by inquietude. -- Andre Maurois
Every Kenyan writer has offered me something to hold onto, something to believe in. -- Yvonne Adhiambo Owuor
In the end maybe what marriage offered was the determination of one's burial site. -- Jane Hamilton
Everything big-budget or stereotypical I was offered after 'Slumdog Millionaire' was a huge no-no. -- Freida Pinto
Once you do one bad guy, usually all you get offered is bad guys. -- Mads Mikkelsen
Of all the gifts You have offered to God, Your happiness-gift He treasures most. -- Sri Chinmoy
Life may not be perfect, at least it offered moments that were perfect enough. -- Lisa Gardner
No one in their right mind would turn down the contracts I've been offered. -- Kevin Pietersen
I don't want to be nice. Nice girls can only get what they're offered. -- Azealia Banks
I chose cultural anthropology, since it offered the greatest opportunity to write high-minded balderdash. -- Kurt Vonnegut
That man has offered me unsolicited advice for six years, most of it bad. -- Calvin Coolidge
Going to college offered me the chance to play football for four more years. -- Ronald Reagan
I get offered movies probably twice a month and they are just generally bad. -- John Corbett
I've been very fortunate - You only can do what you're offered, you know? -- Jon Voight
We are increasingly offered a diet [by Hollywood] in which sensation, not story, is king. -- Beeban Kidron
Sometimes you just can't walk away from films you're offered, like the Dylan Thomas thing. -- Dougray Scott
If we are forever yearning for more time, we are forever discounting what is offered. -- Julia Cameron
We can't make a portal"?" "We've got a flying boat," Carter offered. -- Rick Riordan
Literary imagination is an aesthetic object offered by a writer to a lover of books. -- Gaston Bachelard
What is this place?" "Nothing at all. Everywhere there is. Both at once?" Wereberry offered. -- Adam P. Knave
Directions are instructions given to explain how. Direction is a vision offered to explain why. -- Simon Sinek
I get offered a lot of black roles, because apparently I don't look Latino enough. -- Tristan Wilds
I get offered a lot of the same type of thing... The teenage slasher movies. -- Casey Affleck
I will only do a Hollywood film when there is something special offered to me. -- Irrfan Khan
I get offered a lot of black roles, because apparently I dont look Latino enough. -- Tristan Wilds
Marriage to Fernando offered shelter and security, but the shackle was the price I'd pay. -- Esther Williams
Who seeks, and will not take when once 'tis offered, shall never find it more. -- William Shakespeare
People have offered me opportunities in exchange for sleeping with them. But it's not 1952 anymore. -- Lana Del Rey
All men are evil and will declare themselves to be so when occasion is offered. -- Walter Raleigh
If you want something bad enough, never give up (and take a boost when offered). -- Randy Pausch
Formal religion was organized for slaves: it offered them consolation which earth did not provide. -- Elbert Hubbard
I'm not at the place in my career necessarily where I'm like offered every role. -- Alia Shawkat
Land degradation did not start with chemical agriculture. But chemical agriculture offered new tools for annihilation. -- Joel Salatin
They're the only ones brave enough to give me these opportunities [on being offered a soundtrack!] -- Phil Collins
Richard Nixon was just offered $2 million by Schick to do a television commercial - for Gillette. -- Gerald R. Ford
He offered her power, money, status...a giant prison, all in exchange for only...her soul. -- Coco J. Ginger
Johnson Publishing offered me an opportunity to build back iconic brands like 'Ebony' and 'Jet' magazines. -- Desiree Rogers
Johnson Publishing offered me an opportunity to build back iconic brands like Ebony and Jet magazines. -- Desiree Rogers
Destroy them later?" Cal offered, which was probably as close to friendly as he ever got. -- Rick Riordan

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