Obituaries quotes:

  • Obituaries are like near-death experiences for cowards. -- Austin Kleon
  • Obituaries were among my favorite to write because they have elements no other news stories have - a story from start to finish with a proper conclusion. -- Tom Rachman
  • I turn to the 'Telegraph's' obituaries page with trepidation. -- Christopher Lee
  • I feel like my career has been a series of glowing obituaries. -- Michael Ian Black
  • It's like obituaries, when you die they finally give you good reviews. -- Roger Maris
  • I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. -- Clarence Darrow
  • Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. -- Bill Cosby
  • I don't listen to the news. I don't read the newspaper unless it's eccentric information - and the obituaries, of course. -- Maira Kalman
  • My father always read obituaries to me out loud, not because he was maudlin or morbid, but because they were mini biographies. -- Bill Paxton
  • I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order. -- Erma Bombeck
  • The obituaries shot up to the top of my list when I discovered Robert McG. Thomas, the 'Times' obit writer who redesigned its traditional form and added a measure of stylistic elegance. -- Billy Collins
  • I think it would be funny for people to read in obituaries of me that my major contribution to the arts was the popularization of the phrases 'neutral facial expression' and 'screaming in agony.' -- Tao Lin
  • I've done a lot of death cartoons - tombstones, Grim Reaper, illness, obituaries... I'm not great at analyzing things, but my guess is that maybe the only relief from the terror of being alive is jokes. -- Roz Chast
  • A lasting marriage, they say, is one where the two reach for different sections of the Sunday paper. Me, I go right for the obituaries, just like those very elderly characters in Muriel Spark's spooky novel, 'Memento Mori.' -- Billy Collins
  • It's sad that grandkids show up at the end of obituaries, way behind the list of work place achievements, social clubs and survivors. Why last? If you've got grandkids, you know they're first when it comes to the joy in your life. -- Regina Brett
  • Good priests never look for awards and, perversely enough in the clerical culture universe, do not receive many. Like the aged nuns who taught selflessly and nearly anonymously all their lives, these servants of the People of God only get into the papers when their obituaries are printed. -- Eugene Kennedy
  • I had real plans for my next decade and felt I'd worked hard enough to earn it. Will I really not live to see my children married? To watch the World Trade Center rise again? To read - if not indeed write - the obituaries of elderly villains like Henry Kissinger and Joseph Ratzinger? -- Christopher Hitchens
  • I think the idea of fact-checking, I think the idea that you come up through a system where you know how to cover night cops, and then you go on, and you go on to various beats, including writing obituaries, and you get names right, you know how to spell them, really has some advantages to it. -- Juan Williams
  • Metaphysics keeps surviving its obituaries. -- Mason Cooley
  • People have been writing premature obituaries on the women's movement since its beginning. -- Ellen Goodman
  • It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter -- it's the obituaries. -- Evan Esar
  • If you start the day reading the obituaries, you live your day a little differently. -- David Levithan
  • Decency is not news. It is buried in the obituaries, but it is a force stronger than crime. -- Robert A. Heinlein
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  • Read obituaries. They are just like biographies, only shorter. They remind us that interesting, successful people rarely lead orderly, linear lives. -- Charles Wheelan
  • I think all the obituaries for newspapers we're hearing are premature. Many papers are belatedly but successfully adapting to the new news environment. I -- Arianna Huffington
  • I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order -- Erma Bombeck
  • I scrolled on down to the obituaries. I usually read the obituaries first as there is always the happy chance that one of them will make my day. -- Robert A. Heinlein
  • There's a magical part of it (writing obituaries), too, which is you're trying to breathe life back into someone who has just died. You're trying to conjure them up. -- Marilyn Johnson
  • Nothing is dead: men feign themselves dead, and endure mock funerals and mournful obituaries, and there they stand looking out ofthe window, sound and well, in some new and strange disguise. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • A popular Harvard business professor urged his students to read the obituaries in the New York Times before they read anything else, in order to learn from the lives of great men. -- Georges F. Doriot