Napkins quotes:

  • I've been in more laps than a napkin. -- Mae West
  • She's been on more laps than a napkin. -- Walter Winchell
  • The most exciting business ideas fit on the back of an airplane napkin. -- Carmine Gallo
  • I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself. -- Hannibal Buress
  • Imagine censors that wouldn't let you sit in a man's lap. I've been in more laps than a napkin! -- Mae West
  • Luxury lives in the finer details. It's a cloth napkin at a dinner table. It's a mint on your pillow before bed. -- Iggy Azalea
  • I know I exaggerated things, now I got it like that. Tuck my napkin in my shirt cause I'm just mobbin like that. -- Drake
  • Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins. -- Andy Rooney
  • My mom would take me to restaurants, and the first thing I'd ask for would be a pen and a napkin, and I'd sketch shoes and shoes and shoes, -- Alexander Wang
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  • The Department of Agriculture announced that it will ban six new strains of E. coli. Which explains why the hot dog vendor outside my building is now just selling napkins. -- Jimmy Fallon
  • The odour of Burgundy, and the smell of French sauces, and the sight of clean napkins and long loaves, knocked as a very welcome visitor at the door of our inner man. -- Jerome K. Jerome
  • Nothing is more pleasant than to see a pretty woman, her napkin well placed under her arms, one of her hands on the table, while the other carries to her mouth, the choice piece so elegantly carved. -- Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
  • Reservations and cloth napkins are really minor pinnacles in the high sierra of the New York lunch. The zenith, the Mount Whitney of lunches, the noon meal at which all local lines of force converge [is] the Bar Room of the Four Seasons. -- Raymond Sokolov
  • Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw. -- Woody Allen
  • It needs to be said that sometimes my mom forgets important details when she talks. Like the time she told us she was considering leather (couches, it turns out), or when I was little and she said, "Here's a napkin to put your balls in" (the Atomic Fireballs that I was eating, she meant). -- Bill Konigsberg
  • After eating, an epicure gives a thin smile of satisfaction; a gastronome, burping into his napkin, praises the food in a magazine; a gourmet, repressing his burp, criticizes the food in the same magazine; a gourmand belches happily and tells everybody where he ate; a glutton empraces the white porcelain alter, or more plainly, he barfs. -- William Safire
  • There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there. -- Daniel Handler
  • So Stapes conducted a dinner for just the two of us, then informed me of a dozen small but important mistakes I had made. Setting down a dirty utensil was considered crude, for example. That meant it was perfectly acceptable to lick one's knife clean. In fact, if you didn't want to dirty your napkin it was the only seemly thing to do. -- Patrick Rothfuss
  • What we want, we have for our pains The promise that if we but wait Till the want has burned out of our brains, Every means shall be present to state; While we send for the napkin the soup gets cold, While the bonnet is trimming the face grows old, When we've matched our buttons the pattern is sold, And everything comes too late-too late. -- Fitz Hugh Ludlow
  • All that changing of plates and flapping of napkins while you wait 40 minutes for your food. -- Hugh Casson
  • I make napkins talk in restaurants, socks talk on car journeys. There is an awful lot of puppetry going on in the house. -- Nina Conti
  • I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins. -- Demetri Martin
  • When we ever invited the beast to dinner he didn't come in and swipe the napkins and start taking notes on the tablecloth 'bout how to take over the whole house? -- Toni Cade Bambara
  • There's not a shirt and a half in all my company, and the half shirt is two napkins tacked together and thrown over the shoulders like a herald's coat without sleeves. -- William Shakespeare
  • When you look at the sheer volume of paper usage in the U.S. alone, it's truly frightening: paper towels, toilet paper, napkins, writing paper. Our consumption of trees is endless. -- Ian Somerhalder
  • I had an American journalist say to me, "Is it true you wrote the whole of the first novel on napkins?" I was tempted to say, "On teabags, I used to save them. -- J. K. Rowling
  • The simplest way to prepare Dungeness crabs is to boil them in the shell and set them in front of your guests with crab crackers or crab hammers, cocktail forks, and plenty of napkins. -- Tom Douglas
  • I swear, guys in groups are capable of the stupidest things." "Like war," Kellan says, heaping napkins and ketchup packets onto her tray. "And jumping off rooftops." "And lighting their farts on fire," she says. -- Jay Asher