Ketchup quotes:

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  • Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste. -- Wes Smith
  • A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody. -- Louis C. K.
  • I still eat a burger at a counter with ketchup dripping down my face. -- Scarlett Johansson
  • You know, you really can't beat a household commodity - the ketchup bottle on the kitchen table. -- Adlai E. Stevenson
  • The word 'racism' is like ketchup. It can be put on practically anything - and demanding evidence makes you a 'racist.' -- Thomas Sowell
  • To me, it's far more efficient to mobilize the imagination. It's far more efficient to hear a creaking step, for example, than to see the face of a monster, which usually looks ridiculous, and where you know that the blood is ketchup. -- Michael Haneke
  • The fashion industry isn't merely content to encase my meaty flanks in skintight denim. Oh, no! That denim also has to be white, a color that attracts ketchup, wine, garlic aioli, and any other foodstuffs I might otherwise be able to enjoy if I wasn't wearing ridiculously tight pants. -- Diablo Cody
  • It's kind of a tradition that you get a rookie, put him in the middle, wrap your arms and legs around him, then douse him with everything you can get a hold of - shaving cream, ketchup, mustard, everything. It's kind of like a pie in the face after a guy is successful. -- Gary Carter
  • I love macaroni and cheese. I could eat it every meal of the day. It used to be sushi, but these days I cannot stop eating mac and cheese. I haven't had it from a box in a long time, but I'll make it homemade style with four types of cheeses, lots of milk, maybe a little ketchup. I don't know, I'm crazy like that. -- Cobie Smulders
  • Ketchup I'm hot, dog Frankfurters, you're Nathan But relish hatin' -- Azealia Banks
  • Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger. -- Bill Engvall
  • It's Major Ketchup in the bathroom with the laser scalpel." "Hmm." He sliced a delicately herbed spear of asparagus. "Obviously we were meant for each other as I can interpret that as you meaning something more like Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick. -- Nora Roberts
  • In theater, blood is ketchup; in performance, everything's real. -- Marina Abramovic
  • Nobody, I mean nobody, puts ketchup on a hot dog. -- Clint Eastwood
  • Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup. -- Henry James
  • Everyone else in the world still thinks of American food as ketchup. -- Jose Andres Puerta
  • A month before the season I stop putting ketchup on my french fries. -- Mario Lemieux
  • It is time to embrace and celebrate ketchup, not be ashamed of it. -- Jose Andres Puerta
  • Be kind to dragons, for thou art crunchy when toasted and taste good with ketchup. (Sebastian) -- Sherrilyn Kenyon
  • We need to have lectures about why we can't have every day things like mayonnaise, ketchup and coke. -- Paolo Di Canio
  • I sleep so much better at night, knowing that America is protected from thin pickles and fast ketchup. -- Orrin Hatch
  • My thoughts seem thick, ketchup stuck in a bottle. Like trying to feel someone's face while wearing goosedown mittens. -- Augusten Burroughs
  • There's always anxiety when you start a new job, you're the one guy who doesn't know where the ketchup is. -- Jon Stewart
  • I mix mayonnaise, ketchup and brandy and a little bit of mustard. This is a heck of a good sauce for seafood. -- Jose Andres Puerta
  • I had a job at this French restaurant, and I hated it. I don't like serving; I don't like getting people ketchup. -- Chris Pine
  • Call me tacky, but I love the union of sweet and sour, even in some now-unloved Oriental dishes incorporating pineapple and ketchup. -- Yotam Ottolenghi
  • I'm a tomato freak, but sometimes you have to get it in ketchup form for people to be able to open to tomatoes. -- Tori Amos
  • As a chef and as a father, I am very upset by what's on the menu at most schools: chicken nuggets and tater tots and ketchup and pizza. -- Jose Andres Puerta
  • I come from Yorkshire in England where we like to eat chip sandwiches - white bread, butter, tomato ketchup and big fat french fries cooked in beef dripping. -- Helen Fielding
  • With all the endless varieties and toppings you can add to burgers, there's no need to keep munching on the boring burgers and ketchup found at all the tailgating events and BBQs. -- Marcus Samuelsson
  • What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll break out the ketchup. Grandma's birthday, make her feel special" -- Jim Gaffigan
  • No one had ever called me unnatural before, except for the time I put ketchup on a taco. But seriously, we'd been out of salsa, so what else was I supposed to do? -- Richelle Mead
  • I go to conventions and universities and talk to young filmmakers and everybody's making a zombie movie! It's because it's easy to get the neighbors to come out, put some ketchup on them. -- George A. Romero
  • I am so 100 percent Swedish... Someone has said a Swede is like a bottle of ketchup - nothing and nothing and then all at once - splat. I think I'm a little like that. -- Ingmar Bergman
  • Don't keep excessive amounts of anything. Those glass vases that come from florists. Those ketchup packets that come with take-out food. A house with two adults probably doesn't need fifteen mismatched souvenir coffee cups. -- Gretchen Rubin
  • I don't think I'm a style icon, not at all. Sometimes I just want to rock out in me scruffs and me Uggs. You know, a really comfy old tracksuit with maybe a dollop of ketchup down the front. -- Cheryl Cole
  • They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always treats you like you're taking from his personal stash. "Looks like my kids aren't having ketchup tonight." -- Jim Gaffigan
  • My mother felt we'd be earning a living during our entire adult lives, and therefore believed we should spend summers in learning activities. Consequently, I got to see a plate glass factory in Pittsburgh, a U.S. Steel plant, and how Heinz made ketchup. -- Patricia A. Woertz
  • Surround yourself with people who are the ketchup to your french fries-they make you a better version of yourself. Yes french fries are amazing on their own, but combined with ketchup they are a force. Spend time with people who bring out your true flavors, but don't overpower you. -- Grace Helbig
  • From a young age, I understood the idea of balanced flavor - the reason you put ketchup on a hamburger. I was that kid who wouldn't eat something if there was something missing. I never really understood it until I began cooking professionally, balancing acids, sweets, spicy flavors and fat. -- Michael Mina
  • I'm not a person who writes really abstract things with oblique references. I look at abstraction like I look at condiments. Give me some Tabasco sauce, some ketchup, some mayonnaise. I love all of that. Put it on a trumpet. I've just got to have the ketchup and Tabasco sauce. That's my attitude about musical philosophy. -- Wynton Marsalis
  • My mother always, always, always thought that I was going to be famous. Thought that I was going to win Oscars. In fact, I believe I accepted the Oscar as a ketchup bottle many a time in front of my mother in the kitchen. 'I'd like to thank the Academy,' I said with a ketchup bottle. -- Kevin Spacey
  • I think our grandparents were Victor Frankenstein. I basically am the kind of deeply unnatural creature that Mrs Shelley instinctively dreaded. I not only eat her sacred cows but I eat them with ketchup. While I take her point, I think that transgressive monstrosity and tampering with the life force are both a lot more fun than she suspected. -- Bruce Sterling
  • Some fast food places, they have that ketchup pump. It's like a keg. They give you the paper shot glass. I always like to hang around there, try and meet the ladies. "Here, I'll pump for you. You come to this Wendy's often? My roommate and I, we got a pony pump back at my dorm. Here's an extra shot " -- Jim Gaffigan
  • I have spent a good part of my life looking for the perfect barbecue. There is no point in looking in places like Texas, where they put some kind of ketchup on beef and call it barbecue. Barbecue is pork, which narrows the search to the South, and if it's really good pork barbecue you are looking for, to North Carolina. -- Charles Kuralt
  • The same chemicals were used in the cooking as were used on the composition of her own being: only those which caused the most violent reaction, contradiction, and teasing, the refusal to answer questions but the love of putting them, and all the strong spices of human relationship which bore a relation to black pepper, paprika, soybean sauce, ketchup and red peppers. -- Anais Nin
  • My first job was as a waitress, and I waitressed for a long, long time. I was a very bad waitress. I didn't care if people had ketchup or if they were allergic to fish. It really didn't bother me either way. I didn't care. I was bad, but it was a good way to make money. And it's a fun job if you are working with fun people. -- Cheryl Hines
  • I ALWAYS put ketchup on my mac and cheese. Always. -- Troye Sivan
  • If I had a hotdog in my hand, he would've had tomato ketchup on his face. -- David Haye
  • Far, far below, red liquid bubbled. Blood? Lava? Evil ketchup? None of the posibilities were good. -- Rick Riordan
  • The best part about getting a blowjob, is unwrapping the tinfoil. I like mine with lots of ketchup. -- Jarod Kintz
  • Your leftover meatloaf makes me horny. Let us make love like the first squirt from a new bottle of ketchup. -- Jarod Kintz
  • If there's anything I like better than honey and ketchup, it's baloney and whipped cream --- and we haven't got any! -- Moe Howard
  • You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. -- Jeff Foxworthy
  • Love is a tomato. And while it's true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup. -- Jarod Kintz
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  • Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries. -- Jarod Kintz
  • The best part about falling in love with a slab of meatloaf is now I get to use my ketchup-dispensing backpack when making love. -- Jarod Kintz
  • I'm hungry but I won't order 18 tubs of ketchup and a spoon. No, I'll order it because I'm thirsty, and I'll ask for a straw. -- Jarod Kintz
  • I hate liver, but I could imagine eating some with a little bit of ketchup. Like, a lot of ketchup. I could survive in a Turkish prison, probably. -- Rich Fulcher
  • When I see a salt and pepper standing next to a bottle of ketchup, to me that's obviously a parent and two children, you know? Isn't it for everybody? -- Richard McGuire
  • A typical five-year-old consumes about 60 percent more ketchup than a typical forty-year-old, and the company realized that it needed to put ketchup in a bottle that a toddler could control. -- Malcolm Gladwell
  • What, Sheamus? Oh no, I can see him...he's pretty pale......What? oh no, he's even whiter than that. He's like a jar of mayonaisse with eyeballs and a ketchup haircut. -- John Cena
  • I met a man with no forehead and receding eyebrows. He had ketchup crusted on his eyelids. I can't remember what we talked about, I just remember him smelling like chicken feed. -- Jarod Kintz
  • You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They look as good as they taste. And they come in this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup! -- Homer
  • I swear, guys in groups are capable of the stupidest things." "Like war," Kellan says, heaping napkins and ketchup packets onto her tray. "And jumping off rooftops." "And lighting their farts on fire," she says. -- Jay Asher
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