Car Rental quotes:

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  • A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels. -- Scott Adams
  • Paul Ryan looks like the car rental salesman who bullies you into getting full coverage. -- Damien Fahey
  • I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around. -- Ryan Stiles
  • In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car. -- Jeff Foxworthy
  • My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot! -- Jeff Foxworthy
  • I once went on the most grueling radio tour. Living in hotel rooms, sleeping in the backs of rental cars as my mom drove to three different cities in one day. -- Taylor Swift
  • We were fools and now we were driving to our deaths in a rental car. Janet Jackson was tinkling from the speakers, asking what we had done for her as of late -- Dave Eggers
  • Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it. -- Jeff Foxworthy
  • I've heard Braggadocio about excess baggage charges, multiple unused hotel rooms, and rental cars held unused for long periods of time, which makes me lose respect for certain photographers. Sometimes it's worth it to spend money on a good idea, but wasting money makes me ill. -- Peter Menzel
  • You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you? -- Dave Barry
  • My dad and I are very different people. For example, he's been stabbed; I'm afraid of bugs. He's a mechanic; I once had to exchange a "broken" rental car because I didn't realize I was driving around with the parking brake on. I could keep going, but you get it. -- Jason Mulgrew
  • Working alone on stories, I began to feel the anonymity of motels on interstate highways reached by jet planes and rental cars. It was hard to have a good time, and the only way I could make the loneliness excusable was by taking pictures I thought were very good, even valuable. -- John Loengard
  • In most instances, at all costs, do NOT check a bag. Especially during the holiday season. You have more flexibility to switch flights, switch airlines or even leave the airport and get a rental car to drive to your next destination. If the airline has your bag, they also have you. -- Beth Mowins
  • You could drive a rental car until you don't want it. Just get out of it while it's moving and just walk away. No, I don't feel like being in that car any longer. Just call Hertz. Hi, your car is drifting into the intersection of 28th and Broadway, if you're interested. It's now your problem. -- Louis C. K.
  • Jenk shook his head as he headed for the rental car counter. He felt his shoulders tightening as he walked away, certain that Izzy wasn't quite ready to be silent or invisible yet. He was halfway there when Izzy shouted, "Jenkins! I wish I could quit yew!" Of course. The obligatory Brokeback Mountain reference. Jenk flipped Zanella a double bird without bothering to look back. -- Suzanne Brockmann
  • Teenagers are bored. By everything. Show a teenager an actual volcanic eruption, in progress, featuring giant billowing clouds of smoke, hot rocks raining from the sky, lava flows destroying entire villages, etc., and the teenager, eyebrows arched with sarcasm, will look at you and say, "Gee, this is swell," then return to the rental car, turn on his portable CD player, and listen to a band called Stomach Contents. -- Dave Barry
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