Baby Jesus quotes:

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  • I auditioned for the role of an angel in the Nativity play at school. I didn't get it. I auditioned for Mary; didn't get it. So I made up the character of the sheep who sat next to Baby Jesus. -- Nicole Kidman
  • Shut up Jas, you are not Baby Jesus -- Louise Rennison
  • Advent is not about a sentimental waiting for the Baby Jesus, -- Richard Rohr
  • Sometimes I prayed for Baby Jesus to make me good, but Baby Jesus didn't. -- Barbara Kingsolver
  • Christmas has been a season of mixed interests and meanings, but the very foundation, of course, is its religious significance. No matter what other personal desires or crises we have faced, I've never forgotten that this is the time to celebrate the birth of the Baby Jesus, and the impact of this event on the history of the world. -- Jimmy Carter
  • Back in Georgie's attic, he yanks the phone out of the socket and begins scrolling down the names under dialed calls, praying to anyone who will listen. God. Baby Jesus. Saint Thomas the doubter. Saint Whoever, patron saint of losers. Praying, Please, please, don't let it be true. The first name shatters him. The second makes his head spin. -- Melina Marchetta
  • The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked. -- Andy Borowitz
  • Sweet weeping baby Jesus he has a six-pack to beat all six-packs! -- P. C. Cast
  • If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy a Porsche. -- Dave Attell
  • As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th. -- Karl Pilkington
  • Grace! It's Christmas for goodness sake! Think about the baby Jesus. Up in that tower letting his hair down, so that the three wise men could climb up and spin the dreidel and see if there's six more weeks of winter! -- Karen Walker
  • No touching Baby Jesus." "But we're his parents!" proclaimed Mary Beth, who was being generous to include poor Joseph under this appellation. "Mary Beth," Barb Wiggin said, "if you touch the Baby Jesus, I'm putting you in a cow costume. -- John Irving
  • This generation - it's almost a religious thing now. The millennium, the end days, no need to be responsible anymore to the future. A burden has been lifted from them. The Baby Jesus is managing the portfolio of earthly affairs, and nobody begrudges Him the carried interest... -- Thomas Pynchon
  • Of course, certain religious expressions are fine. If a tribe of Aqualishes wants to boil rhino horns in frog saliva on the National Mall to honor their deity, we'd have a commemorative postage stamp ready by next December. But let a Christian mention the baby Jesus to a kindergarten class and the ACLU wants an exorcism... -- Kathleen Parker
  • I think if I'm 40 and I don't have any kids and I'm not married, I would have a baby artificially inseminated. I would feel like Mary - like Jesus is my baby. -- Kim Kardashian
  • The birth of the baby Jesus stands as the most significant event in all history, because it has meant the pouring into a sick world the healing medicine of love which has transformed all manner of hearts for almost two thousand years. -- George Matthew Adams
  • Jesus Christ founded His Kingdom on the weakest link of all-a Baby. -- Oswald Chambers
  • I clean this teapot with the kind of attention I would have were I giving the baby Buddha or Jesus a bath. -- Nhat Hanh
  • If Jesus was a baby, there was a point, on that Holiest of nights, in that Holiest of mangers, where he made a big, Holy load. -- Dana Gould
  • Jesus incarnated when our Western civilization was changing from being predominantly baby soul to predominantly young. We are now in a similar transition, from young to mature. -- Shepherd Hoodwin
  • ...new life starts in the dark. Whether it is a seed in the ground, a baby in the womb, or Jesus in the tomb, it starts in the dark. -- Barbara Brown Taylor
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