Tony Parker Quotes in All the Queen's Men (2001)

Franz: [hugging Tony on bed] I learned to adapt. I even have sex with women.

Tony Parker: Women? How many women?

Franz: 10 or 12.

Tony Parker: [stops hugging] 10 or 12?

Franz: I had to make it convincing. It's been seven years.

Tony Parker: Eight is convincing, 12 is enjoying it.

Franz: I was thinking of you every time.

Tony Parker: Oh, yes, how did you ever stop from shouting my name?

Tony Parker: Well, actually, I'm a bisexual lesbian in a man's body... but it's more complicated than that.

Johnno: [whispering to Parker, watching O'Rourke write a note to Romy] Didn't he tell us not to put anything in writing?

Tony Parker: Don't you get it? He's never gonna see her again.

[In the club for men "leaning to starboard" - i.e. a gay club - where the team first meets Tony Parker]

Tony Parker: [Referring to Mr Johnson being plied with drinks and cigarettes by other patrons] He seems very at home...

Aitken: He went to Eton.

Franz: Don't insult my friend, he is be-sexual, right?

[Frans is German]

Tony Parker: Right. I have sex with bees.

Franz: I never understand why you go around with queens.

Tony Parker: Well, they're bigger than bees.

Johnno: [upon seeing O'Rourke walk into the room, covered in mud and sewage] Holy moly.

Tony Parker: I didn't know we had to DRESS for dinner.

Tony Parker: Why do you hate your mother so?

Edith Sussman: I hate her because she's a money-grubbing selfish bitch who ruined my father's life, and a promiscuous slut who spends all my father's hard-earned money on trash like you!

Tony Parker: That's not good enough.

Edith Sussman: [Edith is sitting at the poolside, mourning the passing of her father. Tony Parker shows up] How dare you show your face in this house less than 24 hours after my father's death?

Tony Parker: Sorry you feel that way, Edie. But perhaps... I can be of some comfort to your mother.

Edith Sussman: Well I'm afraid you can't. Mother's out with my brother Lance. He's helping her adjust to her new widowhood.

[Scene briefly changes to show Lance on his motorcycle, Angela on the back, whooping and laughing it up]

Edith Sussman: What kind of a crazy world is this? My father's dead, and my mother's gigolo shows up, ready for some hot action?

Tony Parker: I suppose I deserved that. Would you believe, the last thing I wanted to do was betray your father?

Edith Sussman: [Sarcastically] Oh... like REALLY!

Tony Parker: I don't ask your forgiveness... it's almost as if I didn't have a choice. Your mother is a sorceress. She casts a hypnotic spell over a man. You possess that same magic, Edie.

Edith Sussman: I do?

[Tony looks at her and nods]

Edith Sussman: No... you're not to be trusted!

Tony Parker: [Tony and Edith are now in the pool. Tony hugs Edith tightly] Edie - lovely, smooth, sweet Edie. I want to know everything about you: your favorite color, your favorite movie star... do you think your mother killed your father?

Edith Sussman: Canary yellow, Carole Lynley, and yes, I know she did it but I can't prove a thing... Oh! Tony, I think you just broke my hymen...

Tony Parker: I heard your father died of a massive heart attack.

Edith Sussman: So they said. But there's something not right about it.

Tony Parker: Being a man of the world, I have friends in interesting places. Mind if I... do a little leg work?

Edith Sussman: Yeah, sure... But I thought you were under mother's spell?

Tony Parker: Haven't you heard? There's a new witch in town.

Tony Parker: You can't discard me like one of your false eyelashes!