Tommy Randall Quotes in Stowaway (1936)

Tommy Randall: You've been so nice to me, I'd like to buy you something. What would you like?

Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching: A soup bone.

Tommy Randall: A what?

Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching: A soup bone. For my dog. He's awful hungry.

Tommy Randall: Do you think your mother would mind if you joined us in a soup bone?

Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching: I haven't got any mother.

Tommy Randall: Well, then, your father, or family?

Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching: I haven't any family. I haven't even got Chang.

Tommy Randall: Who's Chang?

Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching: He brought me here from Sanchow, and then he ran away with my money.

Atkins: There's a young lady to see you, sir, I think it's rather urgent.

Tommy Randall: Oh, that's bad.

Atkins: She's very beautiful, sir.

Tommy Randall: Oh? That's not so bad.

Atkins: She has a child with her, sir.

Tommy Randall: Oh, that is bad.

Atkins: She also has the captain with her, and he insists upon seeing you, sir.

Tommy Randall: Oh, that's very bad!

Atkins: Here you are, sir?

Tommy Randall: What's that?

Atkins: Your checkbook, sir.

Tommy Randall: I don't know what your game is, young lady, but it won't work! I've never seen you before in my life, and besides I have witnesses to account for my whereabouts for the past twenty-seven years!

Susan Parker: Mr. Randall!

Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching: Uncle Tommy!

Tommy Randall: Ching-Ching!

Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching: This is Susan Parker, my best friend. He's my best friend, too. Don't you think she's extravagant?

Tommy Randall: She's magnificent.

Susan Parker: Thank you. Charming little niece you have there.

Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching: I'm not really his niece, Susan. I'm just pretending.

Captain of SS Victoria: Mr. Randall, aren't you the child's uncle?

Tommy Randall: No, we met in Shanghai yesterday for the first time.

Susan Parker: Moonlight on the water, stars in the sky, slow music, it's almost overdone, isn't it? They might've at least omitted the music.

Tommy Randall: Everything's here, including you and me. Taken all together, that spells romance.

Susan Parker: Romance takes two.

Tommy Randall: There are two here.

Susan Parker: Yes, but not the right two. You see, I'm engaged. To Richard Hope, Mrs. Hope's son. He's meeting the boat in Bangkok. We're to be married there.

Tommy Randall: Why Bangkok?

Susan Parker: Well, he lives there. He with an exporting firm.

Tommy Randall: Exporting what?

Susan Parker: Oh, ivory, apes, peacocks - that sort of thing. He came out here two years ago, and he's worked very hard.

Tommy Randall: You mean you've been engaged for two years, and you haven't seen him in all that time? Oh, you Latins, what a hot-blooded race you are.

Susan Parker: Richard isn't quite like that. Besides, we've known each other since we were children.

Tommy Randall: Well, I must say it all sounds rather lyrical.

Susan Parker: It may not be exactly lyrical.

Tommy Randall: Me, I've never been engaged, not definitely, that is, but if I were ...

Susan Parker: Not definitely is right. I seem to recall something in the newspapers: "Millionaire Playboy Sued for Breech of Promise."

Tommy Randall: Oh, I practically won that case. She only got ten thousand dollars. Poor kid, she'd been counting on fifty.

Susan Parker: Ten thousand dollars? That's more than Richard makes in a year.

Susan Parker: Richard! This is a surprise!

Richard Hope: It's a surprise for me, too.

Susan Parker: Oh, uh, Richard, this is Mr. Randall, and this is Miss Ching-Ching Stewart. I never thought I'd see you here.

Richard Hope: Evidently not.

Susan Parker: Weren't you surprised to see him here?

Mrs. Hope: Hardly. I sent for him.

Susan Parker: Marvelous. I love surprises, and I hardly ever get them.

Mrs. Hope: Susan, I think your friends will excuse you.

Susan Parker: Oh, Tommy, I must be going. You'll look after Ching-Ching, won't you?

Tommy Randall: She'll be perfectly fine.

Susan Parker: [leaving] Goodbye, darling.

Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching: Goodbye, Aunt Susan. You like Susan, don't you, Uncle Tommy?

Tommy Randall: You could call it that.

Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching: I don't see how anyone could have fun with that Mr. Hope.

Tommy Randall: I'm afraid fun isn't everything, Ching-Ching.

Susan Parker: Do you know where Ching-Ching is?

Tommy Randall: Yes.

Susan Parker: Well, would you mind telling me?

Tommy Randall: She's below, getting ready to leave the ship at the next stop. They're sending her to an orphanage for girls. She'll be marching in lockstep and eating gruel within a week. I hope you like it!

Susan Parker: Surely something can be done. That can't happen to Ching-Ching.

Tommy Randall: Wait a minute, I've got an idea. You're going to marry old sourpuss, aren't you?

Susan Parker: I beg your pardon!

Tommy Randall: I'm sorry, no offense meant. Look, I wanted to adopt Ching-Ching, but they won't let me because I'm unmarried. But you're getting married, you can adopt her.

Susan Parker: But Richard and I...

Tommy Randall: [shouting] You don't want her to go to an instituion, do you?

Susan Parker: [shouting] Of course not!

Tommy Randall: Look, I've gone completely soft about this kid. I know it's hard to believe, but true. Won't you please take her and let me pay for her upbringing until I can take her myself? That'll be as quick as I can get to the States and come back with a wife. You may not believe it, but there are quite a few women back home who'd be willing to marry me. Look, it's not for me, it's for Ching-Ching! Won't you please do it?

Susan Parker: All right, I'll do it.

Tommy Randall: Look, I know exactly what you think of me, but that's not important now. Hear me out. Marry me! Please don't misunderstand me. You wouldn't have to put up with me. It'll be a marriage in name only. As soon as we dock in San Francisco, we'll go right to Reno and get a divorce. My lawyers will take care of everything. Please, won't you do it? It's the only way.

Susan Parker: Would you really do that for her?

Tommy Randall: I'd do anything in the world for her.

Susan Parker: So would I.

Barbara Stewart aka Ching-Ching: To be with the one you love is better for your health than medicine.

Judge J.D. Booth: That sounds like a Chinese proverb.

Tommy Randall: Oh, Judge, you haven't heard anything yet.