Tommy Five-Tone Quotes in Hudson Hawk (1991)

[Tommy Five-Tone is miraculously alive at the end of the film]

Hudson Hawk: You're supposed to be all cracked up at the bottom of the hill!

Tommy Five-Tone: Airbags! Can you fucking believe it?

Anna: You're supposed to be blown up into fiery chunks of flesh!

Tommy Five-Tone: Sprinkler system set up in the back! Can you *fucking* believe it?

Tommy Five-Tone: Did I miss anything?

Hudson Hawk: Gates tries to blackmail me, you ask me "Did I miss anything." Gates gets killed, you say "Did I miss anything." I bet you went up to Mrs. Lincoln at the Ford Theatre and said "How was the show? Did I miss anything?"

Tommy Five-Tone: That doughnut-hole-eating, son-of-a-bitch, take-it-in-the-ear-for-a-beer, rat bastard!

Snickers: [leaping around, desperately trying to remove the time bomb stuck to his forehead] Get this fucking thing off my head!

Hudson Hawk: Hey Tommy, look at Snickers.

Tommy Five-Tone: Yeah, he's about to have a bad migraine.

[the timer runs out. Nothing happens]

Snickers: Maybe it was a dud.

[the bomb beeps, and Hawk and Tommy jump out the window just as it explodes, taking Snickers and Almong Joy with it]

Tommy Five-Tone: [to Hawk] You know they invented something while you were inside? It's called "the watch".

Tommy Five-Tone: I hated cigarettes until I saw my first NO SMOKING sign. Keep off the grass? Let's play soccer. The law I cared for was friendship. I broke that one too, didn't I.

[George and his entire gang laugh when they reveal to Hudson that Anna is a nun]

Hudson Hawk: Those better be tears you're crying, Tommy.

Tommy Five-Tone: [laughing and trying not to show it] They are!

[Anna, Tommy and Hudson Hawk are passing by the Forum Romanum]

Hudson Hawk: What's with all these stones in people's back yard?

Tommy Five-Tone: That is called ruins...

Hudson Hawk: Anthony Mario, Cesar Mario. I didn't know the circus was in town.

Cesar Mario: So, Hawk, why won't you do the Auction House?

Hudson Hawk: Call me superstitious, Cesar, but I don't like committing a crime within 24 hours of getting out of the joint.

Cesar Mario: Come on, Hawk. It's one night;s work, you take their thingy and put it in this thingy.

Hudson Hawk: Directions even your brother can understand.

Antony Mario: Yeah! Directions even I can understand...

Cesar Mario: [slaps Anthony on the shoulder] Shut up!

Cesar Mario: Look, Hawk, if you wanna go straight, open up a hardware store and sell spatulas, be my guest.

Hudson Hawk: You know, if the Marios weren't the 3rd largest crime family in New York I'd say "Kiss my Ass" but considering your status I'm gonna say "Slurp my Butt."

Tommy Five-Tone: [walks over with a bottle of wine] Have you ladies sampled our fine house wine? I think you'll enjoy it.

Antony Mario: Beat it Tommy, huh? No Dionsaurs allowed.

Tommy Five-Tone: [smashes the bottle over Anthony's head] Here!

Cesar Mario: [holds back his men from going after Tommy and Hawk] Stop! Let's go.

Snickers: Guys, we got some good news and some bad news.

Almond Joy: The good news is, you'll be completely un-paralyzed in about two minutes.

Snickers: The bad news is, that only leaves you five seconds to defuse the bombs.

Hudson Hawk, Tommy Five-Tone: "Bombs"?

[Snickers fires a time bomb at the wall, it starts counting down from 2:05. He and Almond Joy laugh]

Snickers: I'm so glad it had to end like this. I'll just shoot one in the kitchen for good measure...