Tom Stansfield Quotes in My Boss's Daughter (2003)

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Tom Stansfield Quotes:

  • [Jack Taylor introduces his pet owl]

    Jack Taylor: This is O.J.

    Tom Stansfield: O.J.? Like the murderer?

    Jack Taylor: No, like a football player. O.J. Simpson.

  • T.J.: You rat me out, I'm gonna carve you like a turkey and beat your kids with what's left of you.

    Tom Stansfield: I don't have any kids.

    T.J.: I can wait.

  • Tom Stansfield: I appreciate all your help, but could you make sure that your friends stay out of the house?

    Audrey Bennett: All of them or just the colored guy?

    Tom Stansfield: No, all of them.

    Audrey Bennett: Oh, that's smart. That way the colored guy won't take it personal.

  • Audrey Bennett: Speed, tell Tom about Kennedy's assassination. This is so cool, Tom, Speed knows who killed JFK. No ask him, Tom, ask him! Ask him who killed him!

    Tom Stansfield: Alright, alright. Who killed JFK?

    Speed: Desi... Arnaz.

    [Tom sees a mouse running loose, runs away to catch it]

    Speed: [to Audrey] His life just changed.

  • Tom Stansfield: Hey put the crowbar down, or I will blow your ass to fucktown!

  • Jack Taylor: What's this I hear about you threatening to spray this play with an AK-47?

    Tom Stansfield: Oh... well, I was just making a joke.

    Jack Taylor: Oh that's funny to you? People dying? And what's this I hear about you making fun of midgets?

    Tom Stansfield: I never make fun of midgets!

    Jack Taylor: You said, it would be fun to date one because then you could rest your beer on their head, now I have a sense of humour, but that's just sick.

Browse more character quotes from My Boss's Daughter (2003)

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