Tom Manning Quotes in Hellboy (2004)

Hellboy: Are you okay?

[manning nods weakly. Hellboy brings out a cigar and fires up his Zippo]

Hellboy: You'd better stay here. I'll find a way out. We'll come back for you.

Tom Manning: You call that thing a cigar?

Hellboy: Yup.

Tom Manning: You never, ever light a cigar that way.

Tom Manning: [he digs out one of his fine cigars, cuts it and hands it to Hellboy] Use a wooden match. It preserves the flavor.

Hellboy: [he lights it for him and Hellboy grins] Thank you.

Tom Manning: [smiles] My job.

Tom Manning: Let me tell you - let me tell you something about the Bureau of...

Television Host: Paranormal Research and Defense.

Tom Manning: ...of Paranormal Research and Defense: there is no such thing.

[cut to BPRD headquarters in New Jersey]

[in a large cemetery, searching for Rasputin's mausoleum]

Tom Manning: Where are you going?

Hellboy: To ask for directions.

[opens an amulet]

Hellboy: Come on, find me a talker...

Tom Manning: So, how many escapes, this year alone? Five!

Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: Tom, he's our guest, not a prisoner!

Tom Manning: Yeah, well, your guest happens to be six-foot five, bright red, has a tail, and is government funded.

Tom Manning: [two government agents have died under Hellboy's command and Manning is displeased] You know what my problem with you is? You're reckless. Those two men trusted you to lead them as a team. Where were you?

Hellboy: I knew those men better than you did.

Tom Manning: Ah, I see. That makes it all right then.

Hellboy: No, it doesn't make it all right, but I stopped that thing, didn't I?

Tom Manning: Yeah, that's what you do. That's why we need you. You have an insight. You know monsters.

Hellboy: What are you trying to say?

Tom Manning: This whole thing is a farce, because in the end, after you've killed and captured every freak out there - there's still one left: you.

Hellboy: [sighs and acts natural] Manning, I wish I could be more gracious, but...

[furiously pulls a machine from off the floor, lifts it and heaves it in Manning's direction]

[on TV, Manning is confronted with the latest picture of Hellboy]

Tom Manning: I have a question. Why is it, in these pictures, pictures of aliens, UFOs, the yeti, Hellboy, why is it they're always out of focus?

[audience laughs]

Tom Manning: Have you found them yet?

Hellboy: I got 'em right below me. Matter of minutes.

Tom Manning: Okay, good. Could you hurry up, because it's a... it's a little spooky in here.

Tom Manning: Hey, fish stick. Don't touch anything.

Abe Sapien: I need to touch it to see.

Tom Manning: See what?

Abe Sapien: Past, future. Whatever this object holds.

Hellboy: Let me ask her directions...

Tom Manning: What did it say?

Tom Manning: What's going on? What's going on?

Hellboy: I quit.

[gives Manning his belt and weapon]

Tom Manning: What? Are you serious?

Liz Sherman: Looks that way doesn't it?

[gives Manning her belt and weapon]

Tom Manning: What's wrong with you? You can't all just quit.

Abe Sapien: [gives Manning his belt and weapons] Watch us.

[pats Manning on the cheek and walks past him]

Hellboy: [comes back] On second thought...

[pulls out the Samaritan]

Hellboy: I think I'll keep this!

[walks away]

Tom Manning: Come on. Come on! Johann, they can't do this. Stop them.

Johann Krauss: Dr. Manning, suck my ectoplasmic schwanzstucker!

[about Johann]

Tom Manning: No fingerprints, no photos. But they say, and I'm translating, "he has a nice, open face."

[Johann's head turns out to be a clear, open bowl of glass]

Tom Manning: What are these things?

Liz Sherman: We normally can't see fairy folk and trolls. They emit a cloaking aura of "glamour." But in 1838, Emil Schuffstein designed these. Four crystal diopters that allows you to see things as they really are. Keep an eye on her.

[Manning sees the team following a bag lady pushing a shopping cart full of kittens]

Tom Manning: That little old lady? Come on!

Liz Sherman: It's a Fragglewump. An ugly Scottish troll. They're afraid of canaries.

[Manning puts on the glasses and looks again]

Tom Manning: Oh, my God! Canaries, huh? What about the kittens?

Liz Sherman: She feeds on them.

Tom Manning: That thing is a "she?"

Tom Manning: "Undercover." Can't he get the meaning of the word? I mean, we are still government-funded, we are still a secret, although a dirty secret, if you ask me. Officially, we-do-not-exist. So, you see, that's the problem when we get these.

[shows Abe a series of photos]

Tom Manning: Subway... highway... ah, park.

[holds up one, showing Hellboy giving a "peace" sign with his stone hand]

Tom Manning: And he posed for this one, and gave an autograph. I suppress each photo, cell phone videos, they cost me a fortune, and then they show up on Youtube... God, I hate Youtube!

Tom Manning: [very upset] You've murdered me. You've murdered me and ridiculed me. And... you've brought this onto yourself.

Hellboy: [uninterested] What?

Tom Manning: Washington is sending down a BPRD agent.

Hellboy: [now caring] A new guy? Why?

Tom Manning: [sneering] To look after you!

Tom Manning: [talking about Krauss] I like the way he takes charge.

Liz Sherman: You think?

Tom Manning: He's efficient, and precise.

Liz Sherman: Add resistant to that and you got yourself a new watch.