Tom Hanson Quotes in 21 Jump Street (2012)

Tom Hanson: [pointing gun at Schmidt and Jenko] Goddamn it! Tom Hanson, DEA!

[pointing gun at Domingo]

Tom Hanson: On your knees! Now!

Officer Doug Penhall: Fuck! Doug Penhall, DEA! You're under arrest!

Domingo: What the...

Officer Doug Penhall: Put your guns on the ground!

Schmidt: Yes! Yes!

Tom Hanson: Shut the fuck up! You dweebs just ruined a five year investigation!

Schmidt: We had no idea, you're like, an amazing actor, man.

Domingo: You played saxophone at my sister's wedding, man!

Tom Hanson: Tough titty, I fucked her too!

Domingo: What?

Tom Hanson: You little turds. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to infiltrate a gang like this? You see this nose? This is a fake nose. You want to wear a fake nose on your fucking head? For, like, months on end!

Schmidt: There are worse things in the world.

Tom Hanson: We had to get fucking tattoos on our dicks, man!

Officer Doug Penhall: Actually, I just said that to mess with you.

Tom Hanson: What?

Officer Doug Penhall: It looks tough.

Jenko: Hey, man, look we know what its like being undercover. Metro Police, Jump Street division.

Tom Hanson: You're with the Jump Street? That's funny, because we were actually Jump Street.

Jenko: What? That's crazy, man!

Tom Hanson: Yeah!

Tom Hanson: You little dweebs just ruined a five-year investigation.

Schmidt: We had no idea. You're, like, an amazing actor, man.

Domingo: You played saxophone at my sister's wedding, man.

Tom Hanson: Tough titty. I fucked her, too.

Domingo: What?

Tom Hanson: You little turds. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to infiltrate a gang like this? Do you see this nose? That is a fake nose. Do you want to wear a fake nose on your fuckin' head for, like, months on end? Glue and shit?

Schmidt: Worse things in the world.

Tom Hanson: We had to get fuckin' tattoos on our dicks, man.

Officer Doug Penhall: Yeah, actually, I just said that to mess with you.

Tom Hanson: Tom Hanson, DEA!

Tom Hanson: [in disguise, regarding Schmidt and Jenko] If they're cops, I'm DEA.

[from trailer]

Tom Hanson: You have a great smile.

Abbey Gallagher: The sexual harassment has got to stop.

Jared Tolson: Have you tried to fill your car lately? How 'bout the effects of the oil shortage on our floundering economy?

Tom Hanson: Don't give me that horseshit! There's plenty of untapped resources right here in the U.S.!

Jared Tolson: And environmentalists chaining themselves to fences to protect their precious ecosystems? There are no easy choices!

Tom Hanson: So then your choice is to get in bed with the Russian mafia to buy oil from the C.A.S., who then use that money to wage war against us! They launder our oil, we launder their money - is that about how it works?

Jared Tolson: If we didn't buy that oil, the French or the Chinese will be more than happy to take it off their hands - and then sell us back a meager portion of it at even higher prices! Welcome to the real world!

Tom Hanson: Fuck you!

[walks off]

Jared Tolson: And fuck you, too!

Tom Hanson: They don't care where they get their oil, as long as they get it.