Toby Quotes in Waterworld (1995)

[after painting a ball bearing in the Deacon's eye socket to look like a real one]

Deacon: Well? How's it look?

[the other smokers say, "not bad," "not bad at all", etc]

Doctor: I-I like it better than your real eye.

[One smoker says, "much better," to general agreement]

Deacon: What do you say, Toby? The truth.

Toby: Looks like shit.

Deacon: That's why I love children: no guile.

[after looking at his new eye in a mirror]

Deacon: It does look like shit.

Tumbler: Yo, so check out my new move. I call it "the Stranger." What I do is, I sit on my hand for, like, 15, 20 minutes, until it goes numb. No feeling at all. And then I rub one out.

Toby: "The Stranger," huh?

Atley Jackson: It's like a little boy's nursery school I've come upon here.

Toby: [to Otto] I think that your dog ate the keys

Otto Halliwell: Wait, he usually goes for the license plate... are you sure?

[Toby shows the ripped up envelope]

Tumbler: Wait a minute... Wait a minute... the dog ate the keys

Toby: YES

Tumbler: [laughs] How... How are you gonna get them out

Donny: [to Tumbler] Not funny

Tumbler: [to Sphinx] Oh... excuse me

[Sphinx intervene and flicks open his knife]

Otto Halliwell, Toby: [stops Sphinx] Whoa... don't even think about Sphinx

Memphis: [to Sphinx] It's all right

Woody Stevens: [a large yard is full of a bunch of leaves] Well go home, Toby! You make me sick!

Toby: I can't do this many leaves for $10!

[Woody kicks a pile of leaves]

Mother: This is dinner? What, I ordered a child's portion?

Toby: Mama, this is an airline. It's not the Mulberry Street festival.

Mother: At least on Mulberry Street you get a little pasta, a little Gorgonzola, a hunk of pepperoni.

Tagalong: Gee, you're beautiful.

Sis: Are you going to marry Robin Hood?

Tagalong: Mama says that you and Robin Hood are sweethearts.

Marian: Well you see, that was several years ago before I left for London.

Toby: Did he ever kiss you?

Marian: Well no, but he carved our initials on this tree. I remember it so well.

Skippy: Are you gonna have any kids? My mom's got a lot of kids.

Marian: Oh, he's probably forgotten all about me.

Skippy: Oh, not Robin Hood! I bet he'll storm the castle one day, fight the guards, rescue ya, and drag you off to Sherwood Forest!

Clucky: Now, just a minute there, young man! You forgot all about Prince John!

Skippy: That old Prince John don't scare me none!

Toby: I'm scared of Prince John. He's cranky.

Skippy: You gotta take the oath.

Toby: The oath?

Tagalong: Put your hand on your heart and cross your eyes.

Skippy: Spider, snakes and a lizard head.

Toby: [repeats] Spider, snakes and a lizard's head.

Skippy: If I tattletale, I'll die till I'm dead.

Toby: [repeats] If I tattletale, I'll die till I'm dead.

Toby: Gee, Skippy, how come you're going?

Skippy: Well, Robin Hood's gonna have kids, so somebody's gotta keep their eye on things.

Toby: I've got to delay them! I've got to distract them! Hmm... Hmm...

[Toby dings bell five times]

Diesel 10: It's the teapot! Smash him!

[Diesel knocks down shed roof with Pinchy, which traps him, Splatter, and Dodge inside]

Dodge: Uh... boss... did you mean to let the roof fall in?

Splatter: Yeah, all the way in?

Diesel 10: I always mean what I do!

[all moan]

Toby: [the engines discuss about how to stop Diesel 10] What's important is to stand up on our own wheels to Diesel.

Henry: Toby's right. Diesel knows that the lost engine in the legend really exists.

James: What Engine?

Percy: What Legend?

Henry: Of an engine whose magic makes her more powerful than Diesel will ever be, that's why he wants to find her.

Percy: Then we'd better find her first.

James: [comes out of the shed] Leave it to the big engines, Percy.

Thomas: Little Engines can do big things, especially when they have nice blue paint like me.

[Bertie the bus roars past the steam engines who are having a meeting a siding. The only engine not present is Percy]

Bertie: Smile you steamers. It's a sunny day. Broom broom!

James: It's not sunny because Mr C's not at the windmill. I've looked.

Thomas: I think his sparkle's all gone.

Henry: My smokebox doesn't feel sunny. It feels stuffed up.

Gordon: Nasty fumes form dingy diesel. Hmm!

Henry: And diesel is after the lost engine.

Toby: And if he finds her, I fear that will destroy us all.

Gordon: What even an engine as big as me!

Toby: Yes Gordon, even you.

Thomas: Ahh... Choo!

[shakes as he sneezes]

James: Say it don't spay it, Thomas.

Thomas: I've still got sneezing powder up my funnel. Now I'm going to find Mr Conductor.

[puffs away]

Toby: And let us get back to work. That's what he would want.

[referring to Mr Conductor]

Bertie: How bout a race Thomas? Broom Broom!

Thomas: Sorry Bertie. I can't today. I have to be a really useful engine and solve some mysteries instead.

Bertie: I guess that means I win. Perhaps another day. Broom broom broom!

Toby: Your parent's house is a lot nicer.

Bree Osbourne: My parent's house comes with my parents.

Toby: Beauty is relative.

Bree Osbourne: Not my relatives.

[the Hitchhiker steals Bree's car]

Toby: Oh shit!

Bree Osbourne: My purse. My hormones! You dirty motherfucking hippie!

Toby: My dog book was in that car.

Bree Osbourne: Fasten your seatbelt.

Toby: I don't like wearing them.

Bree Osbourne: Well I don't like the idea of seeing your internal organs splattered all over the dashboard if we get into a wreck, God forbid, so put it on.

Toby: I'm out of cigarettes.

Bree Osbourne: Quel dommage.

Toby: What's quel dommage mean?

Bree Osbourne: It means you're not getting any cigarettes.

Toby: You're gonna cut your dick off for Jesus?

Bree Osbourne: They don't "cut it off!" It just becomes an innie instead of an outtie.

Bree Osbourne: What are you doing?

Toby: What I'm good at.

Bree Osbourne: Eat your vegetables

Toby: [Toby starts eating with his hands]

Bree Osbourne: And might wanna use a fork. Just an idea.

Toby: And these shoes. Three dollars, a dollar fifty each. You know how much these things are worth in Japan?

Bree Osbourne: Three dollars?

Toby: Like 500 dollars. Japanese people kill for old Nikes.

Bree Osbourne: Then you probably should avoid wearing them in Japan.

Toby: Yeah, I'd probably be, like, disemboweled by a ninja.

Bree Osbourne: You don't have to say "like". "Probably disemboweled by a ninja" is sufficient. And please don't put your feet up on the dashboard.

Wayne: School's gonna be closing in about fifteen minutes.

Toby: Wayne, this is really hard. Do you think you could give me a hand?

Wayne: Sure - what subject?

Toby: [Toby stands, pushes down his surfer shorts] Sex education.

Toby: Did you know that the Lord of the Rings is gay?

Bree Osbourne: I beg your pardon.

Toby: There's this big, black tower, right? And it points right at this huge burning vagina thing, and it's like the symbol of ultimate evil. And then Sam and Frodo have to go to this cave and deposit their magic ring into this hot, steaming lava pit. Only at the last minute, Frodo can't perform, so Gollum bites of his finger. Gay.

Toby: How come an Indian wears a cowboy hat?

Calvin: Well, I guess it's because it keeps the sun out of my eyes better than a head band and a couple of eagle feathers.

Theodore: You mean, you don't stay with us at school?

Toby: No, no, no, no, no, I've done my time. Thank you very much.

Toby: What was school like for me? Uh, in a word: awesome. But, you know, that's 'cause I was like extremely popular.

Simon: Is that why you still live with your grandma?

Alvin: And refer to yourself as "The Tobester?"

Theodore: And go

[imitating video game]

Theodore: pyu pyu pyu all day?

Toby: You guys should ask someone who isn't me.

Toby: [singing] Ever since I met you, I wanted to be your guy...

Toby: But as you probably noticed, I'm pathologically shy,

Toby: And standing on this stage right now I think I'd rather die,

Toby: So I'm just going to start by saying "... hi..."

Alvin: There's something wrong with the clock! It won't shut up! I can't sleep!

[screams]

Toby: That's the point. It's an alarm clock. It helps you wake up early in the morning.

Alvin: Why would anyone want to wake up early?

Toby: Tell us another one, Uncle Remus.

Johnny: The one you told Daddy about Brer Frog havin' a tail.

Uncle Remus: And losin' it?

Johnny: That's it.

Uncle Remus: Well, then, how can there be a tale...

Johnny, Uncle Remus: [in unison] ... when there ain't no ta...

Uncle Remus: [chuckles] I could tell ya, but that's another tale for another day.

[the Favers brothers confront Johnny and Toby]

Jake Favers: Just 'cause ol' Remus take your side don't mean we ain't gonna get Teenchy. You wait and see.

Joe Favers: We're gonna tell on you.

Jake Favers: Yeah, gonna tell Tempy, or maybe your grandma. Or maybe even your ma.

Johnny: [remembering the Tar Baby story] Go ahead, I don't care. You can tell Aunt Tempy and you can tell Grandma. You can even tell my mama. But whatever you do, don't tell *your* ma.

Jake Favers: [suspiciously] Why not?

Johnny: Just don't you tell her, that's all. If you do, it'll be awful.

[Grinning, the Favers boys leave]

Toby: [to Johnny] Ain't that what Brer Rabbit did to Brer Fox?

Johnny: [whispering] Sh! Being little and without much strength, we're supposed to use our heads instead of our foots.

Toby: [holding up one finger] Sure is lucky I was with you.

Johnny: What's that for?

Toby: That's whether the wind blowing good or bad. And if it's blowing towards the bull, That ain't good because then he smell you coming and catch you on his horns sure.

[Johnny holds up one finger like Toby]

Toby: The best way is to, don't cut across there at all.

Toby: You were right, Rabbit. Love makes us real.

[first lines]

[sound of train station noises and chatter]

Toby: [staring at train] Whoa.

John: Toby. Stay with me.

Rabbit: Oh, hi there. Hey, look at that!

Toby: You're alive! You talk?

Rabbit: [giggles] Guess so.

Toby: But - you're just - a stuffed -

[gives him a small poke]

Rabbit: Hey! Hee hee hee!

Toby: toy.

Rabbit: I am.

Toby: [magically becomes animated] What's happening? I was just wishing you were alive, then...

Rabbit: You imagined me to life? Wow! You're pretty good.

Toby: Um, thanks.

Mom: [holding on to a bicycle] I'm going to hold on to the saddle until you're ready for me to let go again.

Toby: I didn't know you could do this, Nana.

Mom: Oh, I wasn't aware of many things I could do until recently.

[last lines]

Toby: [swings at and hits a baseball] I hit it! I hit it! Yeah, I hit it! I can't believe it!

John: Okay, go!

[Toby runs off happily to find the ball. Nana throws it back. Snow begins to fly. The camera focuses on the live rabbit, who is watching from a ledge in the distance]

Toby: How come when I wanted to ask Eunice out everyone made fun of me, but then Sebastian likes her and suddenly she's cool? Screw you guys. I hate high school.

Toby: [talking about Eunice] She's got a little somethin' somethin'.

Andrew: Yeah... asthma and headgear.

Toby: I need your advice man. I got lady troubles.

Viola: I'm here for you bro. I got a lifetime of knowledge.

Viola: [as Sebastian] Hey. HEY! What up? You must be my room-mates.

Duke: [laughs]

[Viola clears throat]

Duke: What-what's your name?

Viola: Sebastian Hastings.

Duke: Duke Orsino.

Viola: [grunts]

Duke: Um, ok, ok, ok, ok! Um, this is Andrew and Toby. They live next door.

Andrew: Yeah, freshman dorms thattaway, twiglet.

Toby: Seriously, how old are you?

Viola: I skipped a couple of grades. I'm brilliant, shh! Anyway, you know when our soccer try-outs start?

Duke: Noon. You play?

Viola: Absolutely. Centre-forward. You know it, bra. So, uh, you play the beautiful sport, bro? Brothers? Brethren?

Duke: Yeah, I'm a striker. Andrew and Toby are half-backs.

Viola: Schveet!

Duke: Ok, w-why do you have tampons in your boot?

Viola: Um, I get really bad nose bleeds?

Andrew: So you stick 'em up your nose?

Viola: Yeah! What, you've, you've never done that?

[Boys shake head]

Viola: Oh my! Beckhem does it all the time.

Duke: Serious?

Viola: Yes. Look, let me show you how to do it. Take that off and whatever that is, and, and you stick it right in. It absorbs right up!

Duke: That's disgusting!

Andrew: Oh my god! You're room-mates a freak!

Duke: [at the kissing booth] What do you think its going to be like?

Toby: It's going to be really special, she's just about kissed 300 guys at his point.

Toby: Seriously, how old are you?

Viola: [as Sebastian] I skipped a couple grades. I'm brilliant. Shh.

Toby: Is your sister hot?

Viola: [as Sebastian] Uh... I guess so... she's got a great personality

Toby: Ew

Toby: [cough] Incoming.

Viola: Check out the booty on that blondie.

Starsky: Make him stop. Make him stop. Tell him to stop. Stop it.

Chau: [in Korean] Throw more knives... ALL THE TIME.

Toby: [in Korean] Yes father, I shall throw many.

Deputy Winston: Wanna know what kinda pussy you gonna get for this? Oh man, you're gonna get the Sashimi!

Toby: What's that?

Deputy Winston: Man, that's the Primo Pussy, man. No smell!

Toby: Water here is bullshit!

Toby: Oh, you're a man among men, Sully.

Sully: Well, thanks.

Toby: That wasn't a compliment!

Toby: Did you come to steal our new snowblower?

Sully: I've already done it, just about.

Toby: I could legally shoot you, you know.

Sully: Not unless I'm breaking and entering

Toby: ARE you gonna break and enter?

Sully: What's happening with Dummy?

Toby: I don't know. He took my threat to shoot him a lot more seriously than you just did.

Sully: Poor guy just had a bypass. Maybe he's trying to cram everything he can do into six months. When he realizes he's going to live until he's seventy, he'll slow down.

Toby: If I had my way, he wouldn't live to Thanksgiving.

Toby: Go ahead, steal our snowblower. You're the slowest goddamn thief that I ever saw.

Sully: You ain't naked or anything, are ya?

Toby: No, but I can be in about 2 seconds.

Sully: Well, take your time. I need a cup of coffee.

[on phone]

Sully: Ace Towing? Sullivan. I'm just around the corner. 313 Harvin. Pick me up. Charge it. Tip Top Construction Company. Thanks.

[hangs up phone]

Sully: Horace?... .

Horace Yaney: Hi, Sully. I ain't naked either.

Sully: Thank God for that!

Sully: Hang in there.

Toby: 'Hang in there'? Is that the sum of your wisdom on the subject?

Sully: That's the sum of my wisdom on most subjects.

Pete: So what do we do now Ray?

Ray: What?

Pete: This is your thing.

Ray: This is not my thing, no my thing is sitting on my arse reading books about this shit not actually being in it

Pete: What about the rules, I mean there's always rules in these things isn't there

Ray: Well yeah, but i mean it depends who you read

Toby: Well even i know some rules

Ray: Like what

Toby: Like you can't tread on any butterflies

Pete: What?

Toby: Not just butterflies, anything, you can't kill anything in the past because it wipes out all it's descendants in the future and you could end up wiping out the whole human race

Ray: Don't sleep with anyone, it always ends up being your mum or your gran

Pete: That's just sick

Toby: Ray it's still tonight we haven't gone back to the Blitz

Ray: You asked for rules I'm giving you rules

Pete: OK, don't kill anything, don't fuck anything, what else?

Ray: Don't touch yourself

Toby: Who could have done these murders?

Hardy: I don't know. It could have been anybody.

Toby: Well, it can't be ANYbody. It's gotta be somebody.

Hardy: Of course it's somebody, but that somebody could be anybody.

Toby: Well, look, we didn't do it, right?

Hardy: Right.

Toby: So you can't say it could be anybody. WE'RE anybody.

Hardy: True, but we're also somebody.

Mr. Dumpkin: You don't need your family. You don't need your friends. As long as you have, a horsehead bookend.

[overhears Toby talking]

Mr. Dumpkin: Talking? During horsehead bookends? Who was that? Sure, the girl. What have we here, Miss Shouldn't-be-in-the-class-anyway?

Toby: Well, it's a horsehead bookend, Mr. Dumpkin.

Mr. Dumpkin: You stained it and everything. I couldn't have done a better job myself.

Toby: That's what I was thinking.

[the word SUSPECT flashes in front of Mr. Dumpkin]

Toby: I said his keys not his cheese!

Toby: My father, Yuck.

Dr. Sigmund: Your father's name was Yuck?

Toby: He used to lock me in my room with him in it.

Dr. Sigmund: Don't call me Daddy anymore.

Toby: Without memory, there can be no retribution.

Toby: I feel like we started out on the wrong foot.

Sal: The wrong foot? The wrong foot? You destroyed my $70,000 car. Do you understand that? We've got off on a really, really bad foot.

Toby: I wonder all the time, is there any significance to the people we meet in our lives? Does our life follow fate, or chance?

Georgia: What is that crap you're putting on your face?

Toby: It is from Vienna. It is ninety dollars a tube, do you notice you never see a pore on my face.

Georgia: I've never even seen your face. Who are you, anyway?

Toby: [looking at Jimmy]

Georgia: Who is she? Do you know who she is?

Toby: They take it away form you soon enough. Hold onto it while you can.

Toby: [as kids beat on her car] God damn them! Why do you live in this neighborhood? Why don't you move?

Georgia: Because, it only costs me $300 a month. It's a sublet from Mary Todd Lincoln.

[first lines]

Toby: You okay, Miss Sally?

Sally: 'Cept for a sore ass. Give me a light will ya, Toby?

Toby: Don't hurt her, Grego, she's a pretty one!

Toby: Let Pirelli's / Miracle Elixir / Activate your roots, sir...

Sweeney Todd: Keep it off your boots, sir- / Eats right through.

Toby: Yes, get Pirelli's! / Use a bottle of it! / Ladies seem to love it...

Mrs. Lovett: Flies do, too!

[Toby invites customers to the pie shop; "God, That's Good" begins]

Toby: Ladies and gentlemen, / May I have your attention, puh-lease? / Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well / At that delicate, luscious ambrosial smell? / Yes they are, I can tell. / Well, ladies and gentlemen, / That aroma enriching the breeze / Is like nothing compared to its succulen source, / As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course. / Ladies and gentlemen, / You can't imagine the rapture in store... / Just inside of this door!

[Goes into the pie shop]

Toby: There you'll sample / Mrs. Lovett's meat pies, / Savory and sweet pies, / As you'll see. / You who eat pies, / Mrs. Lovett's meat pies / Conjure up the treat pies / Used to be!

Mrs. Lovett: Toby!

Toby: Coming!

Mrs. Lovett: Ale there!

Toby: Right, mum!

Mrs. Lovett: Quick, now! / Nice to see you, dearie, / How have you been keeping? / Cor, me bones is weary! / Toby! One for the gentleman... / Hear the birdies cheeping - / Helps to keep it cheery... / Toby! / Throw the old woman out! /... What's my secret? / Frankly, dear - forgive my candor - / Family secret, / All to do with herbs. / Things like being / Careful with your coriander, / That's what makes the gravy grander!

Mrs. Lovett: Hold it! / Bless my eyes - / Fresh supplies!

[a customer walks up to Todd's barbershop]

Mrs. Lovett: How's about it, dearie? / Be here in a twinkling!

Toby: [unison] Is that a pie / Fit for a king...

Mrs. Lovett: Just confirms my theory.

Toby: [unison] A wonrdous sweet...

Mrs. Lovett: Toby...! God watches over us.

Toby: [unison] And most delectable thing?

Mrs. Lovett: Didn't have an inkling...

Toby: [unison] You see, ma'am...

Mrs. Lovett: Positively eerie...

Toby: [unison] Why there is no meat pie...

Mrs. Lovett: [startled] Toby! / Throw the old woman out!

Toby: [DELETED SCENE: Nicole and Toby are chatting over ice cream at Baskin-Robbins] ... Mom always tells you to wear a robe because of me? That's crazy. I'd never peep at you; you're my big sister.

Nicole Walker: First of all, I know that - even if she doesn't. Second of all, I *like* it when YOU peep at me.

Toby: Wow, I'm gonna have to remember that...! Cindy Crawford, now SHE'S a different story...

Nicole Walker: [laughing] She's also MRS. Richard Gere, remember?

Toby: Oh, yeah - right.

[as she happily ruffles her little brother's hair, Nicole notices David nearby. He is filming her and Toby with a video-camera]

Nicole Walker: ...Do you know how to flip someone the bird?

Toby: How about biting my thumb at them, like in "Romeo and Juliet"?

Nicole Walker: Close enough. Show me.

[as Toby executes a picture-perfect thumb-bite, Nicole reaches out and aims him toward David - who stops taping. Nicole and Toby laugh some more]

Nicole Walker: Come on, Tobster... We're out of here.

[as they both exit, Nicole looks to where David stood a moment ago. He has disappeared]

Margo Masse: [finds them playing "Street Fighter"] Hey there, handsome. How soon are you gonna grow up, so I can ravage you?

Nicole Walker: Leave Toby alone, Margo.

Margo Masse: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE] When did you start sticking up for this guy? I thought you couldn't stand him.

Toby: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE] She can't; Mom had to force her to come downstairs and hang out with me.

Nicole Walker: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE] Well, at least he hasn't done what *you* did... I need some fresh air.

Nicole Walker: [her first line, as she comes in for breakfast wearing a sexy minidress - and notices Steve's disapproving gaze] What?

Steve Walker: Nothin'.

Nicole Walker: Dad, you're looking at me like you didn't know who I was or something.

Steve Walker: No, no. I was just thinking that maybe you'd like Laura to take you to buy new clothes.

Laura Walker: What she's got on is brand-new.

Steve Walker: *This* is NEW?

Nicole Walker: Yeah. Why? What's wrong with it?

Steve Walker: It looks like something you wore when you were 12.

Nicole Walker: Yeah, so?

Steve Walker: Look. All I'm saying is that it's - it's... What? I'm not allowed to have an opinion?

Nicole Walker: No, Dad; *you're* allowed to do whatever you want. *I'm* the one who needs permission to breathe. So may I please go to school now, Father?

Toby: [his first line, as he comes in] Good morning, everybody.

[CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE: wolf-whistles]

Toby: That dress looks great on you, Nicole.

Nicole Walker: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE: grins in spite of herself] Thanks, I *think*.

[she departs]

Steve Walker: Have a nice day, Nicole.

[to Laura]

Steve Walker: Does *that* count as quality time?

Laura Walker: [as she and Steve are leaving for Vancouver; to Nicole and Toby] The number of the hotel is by the phone. So just rent some videos, call Domino's, and try not to kill each other.

Nicole Walker: I'll try and restrain myself.

Toby: Relax, Mom. If she gives me any trouble, I'll just sic Kaiser on her.

Nicole Walker: Ooh-whoo; I'm shaking.

Toby: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE] You're right, that was a bluff; he likes you more than me, anyway.

Steve Walker: Try and have a nice time, Nic. Life is short. But nobody in the house but you and Toby. You hear me?

Nicole Walker: I hear you, Dad.

Steve Walker: Smile?

[she forces a smile]

Toby: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE] That won't be a problem; none of the kids at school like me enough to come over.

Toby: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE: right after killing Terry with Laura's SUV] ... Consider that a present from Kaiser.

Nicole Walker: ...She's got this little chain she hooks through it and wraps around her waist. What would Dad do if I got one?

Laura Walker: You know exactly what he would do.

Toby: Yeah, firing squad at dawn.

Laura Walker: Toby.

Toby: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE] Not that bad, huh...?

[to Nicole]

Toby: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE] No, more likely he'd just make you share my bedroom for a week or so.

Nicole Walker: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE] In other words, he'd actually punish YOU for something *I* did?

Toby: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE] Quit torturing yourself; that's MY job.

Nicole Walker: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE: agrees with a laugh] Totally!

Laura Walker: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE] *Both of you.*

Nicole Walker: [CUTTING-ROOM-FLOOR LINE: ruffling his hair] The firing squad would be more humane.

[Toby mimes getting stabbed, then looks up at Nicole with his best "You got me that time" expression]

Toby: [DELETED SCENE: Steve and Laura bicker about his cancellation of a family outing due to an emergency at work. As the argument escalates, their offspring listen in from the next room] ... I hate it when they fight.

Nicole Walker: Have they argued more often since I came to live here?

Toby: [thinking it over] ... Not more often. Just longer and harder.

[Nicole chuckles]

Toby: ... Seriously, why do people bother getting married, if they're just gonna divorce?

Nicole Walker: [she puts an arm around his shoulders] THEY'RE not getting divorced, little guy.

Toby: When *I* get married, it'll only be ONCE - and FOREVER.

Nicole Walker: [she buries her face in his hair and kisses him] ME TOO.

Toby: [he slides an arm around her waist and gently pats her hip] Maybe you and I should get married, then.

Nicole Walker: [she laughs] Toby, why would you want to marry ME? Everything's already great between us; let's not spoil it, huh?

Toby: [he smiles mischievously] We COULD have just one kid, and then see how it goes.

Nicole Walker: What...? *We could do WHAT?*

[They embrace, giggling at the idea]

Nicole Walker: ... Tobias, what am I gonna do with you?

[she nuzzles him]

Steve Walker: [on the phone] ... Okay, fine. You're right. It's not an emergency. All the same, could I please talk to the people that try and solve murders - ? Jesus!

Toby: [sees Kaiser's head poking through the "doggy door"] Come on. That's a good boy.

[the dog's head, and ONLY its head, is shoved through and rolls across the floor]

Nicole Walker: Come here, Toby. Over here.

[He runs into her arms and they hug each other]

Nicole Walker: ... I'm sorry you had to see that, bro.

Steve Walker: [still on the phone] ... Yeah, um - My - My name is Steven - Hello - Hello? HELLO?... The phone is dead.

Terry: You're next, man!

[Steve begins to rush after him, but Laura stops him]

Laura Walker: No, wait! We don't know whether he's alone out there. Here, security will come.

[She taps a control panel repeatedly, but nothing happens]

Steve Walker: There's not even a siren.

Laura Walker: Well, Larry will still get the signal.

Steve Walker: No, it's disconnected. The system works through the phone lines...

Margo Masse: Nicole, can I borrow him?

[Nicole nods and dismissively pats Toby's shoulder]

Margo Masse: Over here, Toby.

[He goes over to Margo and they share a tender embrace]

Laura Walker: ...It doesn't matter. No one is getting in here. You designed it, remember? Reinforced doors. No entry without the code.

Nicole Walker: Dad...? David's got the code.

[There is a beeping as David punches in the entry code. Steve hits the manual override just in time, thus keeping the door locked. There is banging and pounding as David's hoods attempt to break in through the windows and side doors]

Steve Walker: Nicole, take Margo and Toby up to your room and stay there.

Nicole Walker: Will *you* be okay?

Steve Walker: Laura and I will be fine. Laura, get the flashlight. Then turn off every light in the house!

[Halfway up the stairs, Nicole screams as Logan leers in at her through a skylight]

Steve Walker: *Nicole!* I'm counting on you three guys to make sure they don't get in from upstairs! If that happens...!

Nicole Walker: I get it, Dad. Good luck to you.

Steve Walker: Thanks, now GO ON! AND LOCK YOUR DOOR!

[as Nicole ushers Margo and Toby to her room, Steve turns back to Laura]

Steve Walker: Turn the flashlight off. I don't want them to know where anybody is.

[the doorbell rings continuously]

Steve Walker: No one's gonna hurt our family, honey. No one!

[Upstairs, Nicole sits with Toby on her bed while a tearful Margo paces the floor nearby. Toby gazes around the darkened room, and then forces a smile at his sister]

Toby: [CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR-LINE] ... You always said, if you ever invited me in here, it'd be the greatest day of my life.

[Nicole returns the smile and kisses him tenderly]

Nicole Walker: [CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR-LINE] I'm still working that one out; give me time.

[Margo sobs loudly]

Nicole Walker: I'll be right back, Tobster.

Margo Masse: Oh, they're gonna kill us, just like they killed Gary.

Nicole Walker: Don't say that. You need to calm down.

[Toby notices Terry outside the bedroom window, and waves for the girls' attention. Margo screams, while Nicole produces an umbrella]

Nicole Walker: Toby! Coming through!

[as Toby rejoins Margo, Nicole jabs Terry with the umbrella and he plummets to the yard below. Toby is duly impressed]

Toby: [CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR-LINE] Take a bow, Rapunzel.

[In response to the joke, Nicole beams at him and flips her hair, a la "CHARLIE'S ANGELS"]

Laing: You know, Toby, when I was your age, I was always covered in something. Mud, jam, failure... My father never associated himself with anything dirty. Or real.

Toby: My father's up there.

Laing: You mean, in heaven?

Toby: Heaven isn't real, stupid.

Toby: Junk the ancient rules of thought / by which our predecessors fought / Their clashing minds did throw a spark / that scorched the world and wreaked the dark / Let no science fix our path / if only numbers make its math / Our brains will run, we'll surely see, / on some sweeter philosophy / Until beneath a quiet sky / atop the rubble we will stand / and finally demystify / the message in fate's reprimand / Even an atomic blast / can't rub the future from the past / If with incinerated grace / we still become the human race.

Franny: Everything's gonna be fine. Did I tell you that I had surgery once?

Toby: You did?

Franny: Yeah, yeah. It's nothing. Nothing to be worried about. Nothing. No, it was perfectly fine. When I came out... Bizarre. But... I started farting all the time! I hope it doesn't happen to you.

[Toby rights something on a note and gives it to Garret]

Garrett: Somebody needs to get raped here. You perversed fucker.

Toby: Right so I can read it

[Flipping Garret off, writes a new note and gives it to Garret]

Toby: [tries to grab Kitty's hand, but she pushes it away] Say Kit, won't you go to the show with me tonight?

Kitty Lane: For what?

Toby: Well, you can't do much with a crowd around.

Kitty Lane: That's why I like crowds.

[Fred calls out an order from the kitchen "Take away the chicken pie." and Kitty walks away]

Toby: [following her] But Kit, there's a lot of things I want to tell you.

Kitty Lane: Only one, Toby. And the answer is "no."

Toby: Don't you know any three-letter words?

Kitty Lane: Nix!

Toby: [good naturedly] Why you...

Toby's chum at diner #1: Hey Toby, come on! We got places to go!

Toby's chum at diner #2: Come on, cut the romance!

Toby's chum at diner #3: Come on, Romeo!

Toby's chum at diner #2: [as the crowd of young men leaves en masse, with Toby] Boy, you couldn't lure a woman out of a burning building.