Tim Avery Quotes in Son of the Mask (2005)

Tim Avery: Hey, Loki.

[suddenly picks up a phone receiver and shouts]

Tim Avery: Give me back my son!

Loki: Um... No

[speeds off]

Tim Avery: [right before Odin is about to punish Loki] Hey! Look here, Grisly Adams, I don't know how it works in the immortal world, but your his *father*, he's your *son*, and even if you banish him, he's still gonna be your son. Nothing, in this universe is more important than your relationship with your family. I would think it's even more important for you guys. You're like a thousand, he's like eight-hundred, you might as well get it right now and enjoy the rest of eternity.

[last lines]

Tonya Avery: Yay! Yay! Honey, oh, that was such a good show. But, I think you might need to add another character.

Tim Avery: What? Really?

Tonya Avery: Yeah.

Tim Avery: What do you think about that Double A? A little brother or sister? How does that sound?

Tim Avery: Okay, you give me Alvey, and the mask is yours.

Loki: [takes the mask and turns away with Alvey] I can't let go. I've grown attached.

Tonya Avery: Alvey!

Tim Avery: Hey, we had a deal!

Loki: I'm the God of friggin' Mischief, what did you expect?

Tim Avery: Smokin! Causes... cancer.

Tim Avery: Hey, 911! I already told you. My son is bouncing off the walls. Yes, off the walls, the couch and the ceiling.

[Other line was hung up]

Tim Avery: Hello? Hello? HELLO?

Tim Avery: [to Alvey] Do it. Do it. SING, DAMN IT! SING...

Tim Avery: Hi, boys and girls! I'm Torpedo Tortoise! Here at Animagine, your dreams come true. There's so much fun here for me and you. Animagine at morning, Animagine at night. You think watching cartoons is wrong? I wouldn't be right.

Tim Avery: Don't you just love Halloween? Trick-or-treat.

Guard: Hardy-har. Let me see your work ID, please.

Tim Avery: [Removes fake mask] ID?

Guard: No ID, no party.

Tim Avery: Where did my wife put that invitation?

Guard: ID, not IV.

Tim Avery: Excuse me. My bad.

[Throws away IV]

Tim Avery: [Repeated line] My son is the devil.

Tim Avery: [Repeated line] Maybe I'm just going crazy.

Tim Avery: So that's why he can pee like that!

Tim Avery: Who are you?

Loki: I'm Loki, God of Mischief.

Tim Avery: And I'm Tim, God of Crazy-Baby-Land. Can you move please?

Loki: Your son was born of the mask, *my* mask. Where is it?

Tim Avery: Born of the... Oh! So, that's why he can pee like that.

Odin: As expected, you've failed at your promise. You've failed at your quest. You are, in ever sense of the word, a failure.

Tim Avery: [to Tanya] Wow, and I thought your dad was mean.

Loki: Hey, we both knew it was gonna end this way, right? You practically set me up for failure, so at least I'm living up to your expectation in that regard.

Odin: Silence!